How Do I Approach Women as an Si user? | CS Joseph Responds

How Do I Approach Women as an Si user? | CS Joseph Responds

 

CS Joseph answers the Acolyte question how do i approach women as an Si user?

Transcript:

Are you? Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. Today’s question, how do I pick up women as an SI user? Or how do I approach people as an SI user? For the purpose of a relationship? Right? Very fascinating question. I’ve had a hard time answering this question in the past. But after reading many more books and getting a lot more practice in the field, and helping other people do the same.

I think I have a decent amount of conclusions that could help people be more successful in that area. Just remember that these questions come from our acolyte members at CS Joseph dot life forward slash members. And if you want your question turned into a YouTube video podcast episode to help the rest of the audience as you ask your question. Upgrade your account from journeyman to acolyte at CS Joseph dot life for slash portal or become a journeyman member we have years of content in their literal years to binge at all, I think our current record right now is about seven weeks, terms of people being able to binge it.

So I don’t know. And that was an INTJ being tripled progression while doing that. So not entirely sure that’s going to work out in the future. But my goal is to put so much content in there that we’re able to stretch it to eight weeks, you know what I’m saying? So the contents just gonna, just gonna keep going.

Right? So, but yeah, see, it’s just die for slash portal upgrade from journeyman to acolyte or become a journeyman member, then upgrade activate CS joseph.ly, forward slash members, so that you can get your questions turned into response videos, and I’ll be happy to answer your burning questions. Special thanks to those who are asking more sensor related questions or questions about specific functions that can benefit more people? I really liked that. So anyway, 30 hours in quarters, and I’m not even sure today. Today’s question like, how do I approach people as an SI user, so that can be problematic.

I actually have a couple of lectures on the subject and the cutting edge podcast and the journeyman section. I recommend those I think, I think like the first one was maybe May in the second one, maybe in July, but just if you watch from like April to present, you’ll definitely get the videos in the cutting edge podcast section of the members area and the journeyman area. So check that out. But the thing is, is that when it comes to introverted sensors, and relationships and trying to like get a date or trying to get a man or trying to trying to get a woman basically, it’s really hard for introverted sensors because introverted sensors are naturally seen by everybody else to be like, feminine types.

You know, iossef J men, for example, ie intp. Men intp men, ESFJ men, when you combine extroverted or introverted sensing with Extraverted Feeling, it just comes off, so feminine to people. And women in general are just not attracted to those men by default. And it’s and then when you you, you compare that to like, people like ESTPs, for example, are ISTPs INTJ is E and TJ is extroverted sensing is just seen as more masculine by women in general, right? Now, conversely, when you look at women, introverted, sensing women, they’re more dutiful, they’re more they stick around, they’re seen as more feminine by men.

I mean, even I even I can’t deny that I am naturally attracted to ISFJ women because of just how feminine they are. I cannot help but be attracted to the femininity even though they’re not even compatible with me whatsoever. But I still I still have this unexplained desire for them. It’s completely unexplained but it’s there even though there’s like no actual compatibility, you know, and that I can be frustrated I could cause a problem you know, so these dynamics need to be aware of you know, and then like also like, conversely, masculine women who are like very expert at sensing are a natural turnoff to me.

They’re all you know, and you know, men would also see that as a noun. Natural turnoff as well. So that too can be a problem, right? So barring these masculine and feminine differences, like the number one source of attraction is whether or not you’re masculine or whether or not you are feminine, and then there’s levels of masculinity, and there’s levels of femininity. And it’s important to make sure that you’re maximizing as much as you can, in that area.

Right, you want to make sure that you are being as masculine as possible. If you’re a man, you want to make sure that you are being as feminine as possible as a woman. The thing is, is that like, when you look at nature versus nurture, some of the 16 types naturally have their masculine behavior if they are a man or feminine behavior if they are a woman, naturally, so everybody else out there who gets screwed, like people like myself, people, people like Railgun, she gets screwed all the time. You know, she’s, she’s a very masculine woman as an ESTP.

Right? So you know, her and I, we get screwed, like, we get screwed by society, we get screwed by everyone’s judgments, everyone being shallow, because like, I’m naturally feminine, and she’s naturally masculine. So we just come off mega ugly to other people, like on a regular basis. It’s really frustrating, like, entirely frustrating. So how do you? How do you deal with that, like, we got to understand is that regardless of you know, masculine or feminine behavior is natural to you or not, it’s still your responsibility to engage and learn behavior, and you have to learn how to be masked, and you have to learn how to be feminine.

I don’t care if that makes you feel fake. I don’t care if that makes you feel not accepted. You think I’m accepted? I’m not accepted at all, like you think and then because I don’t really care about my Extraverted Feeling child anymore, because the acceptance it craved it never got. So it’s just like, yeah, don’t care anymore, moving on something else.

So based on that, it’s really important to consider these consequences, and realize that it is your responsibility to engage in learned behaviors that would make you more feminine or more masculine, if you are lacking in any of those areas. Because it doesn’t matter how you approach a woman doesn’t matter how you approach a guy, it just doesn’t matter. If you can’t figure out masculinity or femininity, you may as well just give up seriously. And you should spend more time researching as to what that looks like, you know, before it gets even started.

Here’s the other thing, like, you know, when you’re looking at, like people in general, like people in public, like, it doesn’t matter how compatible you are, it really doesn’t matter. Like it matters like not not like in the short term after contact has been established. But in the approach, compatibility doesn’t really matter that much. It really doesn’t matter because people need to kind of get to know you a little bit before they are comfortable or willing to make the decision.

Okay, yeah, I am compatible with that person. See what I’m saying? Like, and until that happens? Well, it’s not going to happen. It’s just not like, people are just too xenophobic. Everyone is xenophobic, and it’s programmed our genes.

That’s why racism exist. Racism is ultimately it’s technically an instinct that people utilize to protect themselves, technically. And yes, it is prejudice. And yes, you are prejudging someone.

But the thing is, is that everybody’s racist, people can’t help it. And that’s more on the negative side. But then again, if you look at it, also, everybody is shallow, they don’t want to just share their body with anyone, they don’t want to produce their children with just anyone. Right? And you know, men and women have their preferences, and those preferences need to be known and understood and ultimately respected.

Well, there is a societal preference that comes into play, let’s say that you actually have your masculinity and your femininity like actually figured out. But if you lack social skills, you’re not going to get anywhere. So there’s a book out there by Matthew Hussey and I’m not a fan of Matthew Hussey. But he makes a lot of money because he likes to support and feed and enable the ego investments of women out there, while simultaneously kind of failing to tell them to tell women exactly how to quote get the guy which is the name of one of his books.

Chapter one I found to be the actual most important chapter of his book, The rest of it, I’m just not sure about but chapter one, he explains like hey, you know, women need to stop being entitled and expecting men to always be social, and engage and have social skills to engage, you know, it’s women’s responsibility as well. And I agree with that and you actually provided like list of behaviors and a list of examples on how to be social. Because it’s like, here’s the thing, like, if you want to be good at approaching people or picking up people, you know, cold approach pickup, as some people would call it, you need to actually first be good at developing social skills, you have to be really good at going up to a random stranger striking up a conversation with them. And they’re leaving, satisfied or fulfilled, or validated or, you know, pick XYZ cognitive origin, right? Whichever the eight cognitive origins they are, you need to type them ahead of time, if you can practice visual typing, figure out their origin, and then give them their origin within your social interaction to increase, you know, your capabilities, as within the social interaction.

But again, it’s all about being social, like practice being social, you know, I’m out in public all the time, I’m talking to random people, you know, even to the point of teasing them, or making fun of them, like I will do it. You know, like, for example, there is an INFJ woman who was sitting down with her dog next to my Subaru, and I parked it just to be able to come film this. And I went up to her, and I’m like, Okay, it’s a nice dog you have there. And because she’s a dog, mom, she’s alone.

She’s miserable. And she’s like, Yeah, cool. You know, like, she didn’t really give me the time of day. And I was kind of annoyed with her.

So I looked at her in the eye, and I’m like, what you some kind of INFJ or something, you know, that’s what I said to her. Because I was annoyed. And but I was also teasing her at the same time, almost as if I was implying that being an INFJ is a bad thing. You know, all of us here know that that’s not the case.

But I was still playing that role anyway, to get her to consider what was actually happening and consider, you know, what that was all about, right? So. And then, you know, that led to a conversation, she was trying to tell me all about herself, et cetera. And that’s thing, you know, another thing, read the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People chapter two, or three, get them to talk about themselves, right? You know, get their name, that’s like chapter four, six, once you have their name, then guess what you can, like the their name is the sweetest sounding voice to them, you know, sweetest thing that they’ve ever heard in their life is their own name, you know what I mean? So like, You got to learn that too. So combined Chapter One of get the guy with How to Win Friends and Influence People.

And then you could probably also, if you’re a manager, read the rational male, volume five, also known as the player’s handbook, so that you can learn social skills. Most people think the player’s handbook is a pickup artists book, it’s not, it’s literally just a book to teach men social skills. That’s all it is. That’s all it is.

It’s just got a fancy click Beatty title. So can sell copies, but it’s just a social skills training manual for men, that’s all it is. So and then once you have social skills, go practice them, then you’re just striking up random conversations with people. Because here’s the thing, if you’re not comfortable striking up random conversations with people, to the point of being able to push them to talk about politics are uncomfortable talk at topics, and then have a comfortable conversation with them, even though you’re talking about or discussing uncomfortable topics, then what makes you think that you’re good enough to approach a woman What makes you think you’re good enough to approach man, you can’t even do that, you can’t even do that.

And you having more social skills makes you far more desirable anyway, which is ultimately what you have to do as an SI user, if you’re an SI user, you’re trying to approach somebody, you need to be going out of your way to maximize your expert intuition, you have to maximize how magnetic you are, you have to maximize how attractive you are so that people are ultimately coming to you. It is your responsibility as an SI user to be making sure that you’re putting in the proper amount of effort into the right places and the right things within your life. Because the more effort that you put in the right areas, the more attractive you actually become. And then people will just come to you women will approach you men will approach you.

So you actually have to start studying what attraction is. Guy understand women’s biological pension for pre selection. If you show up to a club with a bunch of men with you, and then also some girls, at the same time, you’re perceived by women as more valuable because people are hanging out with you. And if people are hanging out with you, that means you’re more valuable.

It’s not hard. You know? So like, what? So what I do? So what I do is that, like, I find men, you know, in areas that I consider male space, I learn about them, I ask them questions, you How to Win Friends and Influence People on them and whatnot. And then I’m like, you know, hey, then I’m like, I offer them, you know, advice. It’s like, Hey, do you want some advice right now? You know, like, and then like, they’ll say, Yeah, sure.

And I’m like, okay, and then I give it to him or like I help them get a job or who knows, right? Like, I do some nice thing for them. That could be potentially life changing. And then I have them join my crew, which is like my entourage and I drag my entourage all over the place with me. And when that happens, people notice us we play pool together.

We do backpacking trips, although we didn’t do one this year. You know Got paddleboarding together. Like we just do stuff, we just do stuff. It’s like having like my own little private gang or private crew or whatever, you know, and they’re out there, you know, inviting people to come with us and the crew grows, you know, what happens if we all show up to the club dressed in suits, you know what I’m saying? Like, it just makes us that much more higher valued that much more attractive, because we have our thing, we have our stick, we have our thing.

Our new esta cosa, you know, it’s like within our men, basically, and we’re there. And people always notice us, when we walk through the door, we take over a cool table and making her pitch and, you know, and we can’t, like we can’t help it, like, girls come up to us all the time. That’s like, very normal. And then the girls is like, Oh, dang, there’s like a bunch of like, high value men all at one spot, you know, and then they’re like, well, because that’s how they perceive it.

And then their hypergamy gets to run free. And it’s like, Oh, I get to choose, you know, oh, I’m interested in a beta right now. Oh, I’m interested in alpha right now. And they get to choose from among the group, because the group of guys is actually pretty sizable.

You see what I’m saying? And, you know, so as a group, we ended up pulling a lot of attention from the opposite sex, or I mean, that’s one way an introverted sensor can do that. Because you’re literally affiliating with other men, or you’re affiliating with other women to increase your extroverted intuition, desire quotient, basically, you are becoming more desirable, because you’re associating with people who are perceived to be higher class, higher status, it’s not hard. The other thing is, too is if you’re an SI user, you’re not like putting effort in the gym, you’re not measuring your food, like you’re not going to be attractive, like, guys have to understand that having like a healthy body fat percentage, is basic, it’s required. You can’t tell somebody that they’re shallow, when they don’t want to go on a date with you.

Because your body fat percentage is too high, you can’t tell them that because that’s just natural human instinct, you’re judging them for just being human. That’s dumb. Instead, you need to realize that you’ve fallen behind and need to catch up and need to get back to zero basically, and be in the races zero and zero is you having a healthy body fat percentage, and if you think your healthy body fat percentage, you’re falling BMI. Wrong, that’s not correct.

You need to go look up on Google the Banner Health ideal weight chart. And then when you’re doing your fitness, and your fat loss, or you’re reducing your body fat percentage, you should be focusing on targeting the lowest weight in the range provided targeted, you may don’t have you don’t have to research, you have to reach it, but target it when you’re going on your fat loss journey. It’s not hard. Okay? Now the recommendation is this guy who did built by science, he’s got his YouTube channel, Jeremy, EPA is a Canadian, fantastic fellow teaching men and women how to lose body fat, I recommend his system, it’s definitely helped me out.

I’ve lost a considerable amount of body fat as I break myself down. I mean, many people within this audience is like, oh, you know, CSJ is looking pretty skinny and wonder if he’s okay. I’m like, Yes, I’m okay. I am trying to reduce as much body fat as possible before I build myself up, do you think it’s like, because think about it, like, I’m actually a very small frame person.

Being a small frame person basically means that like, if I’m 200 pounds is a small frame person, because I’m obese. And I can’t do pull ups because the genetic potential of my muscles are not made to do a pull up with a 200 pound load, that’s just not how it works, I have to lose a considerable amount of body weight, to be able to get to the point where I can actually do a pull up. That’s why I was doing Cheeto one meal a day, basically, according to Dr. Eric Berg, to healthfully lose one pound every week, basically.

So four to five pounds a month, reduced every month, basically, to until I’m like small enough to be able to do pull ups, you know, for example, because like then you have a wide variety of exercises that you can do and lifts that you can do in conjunction with measuring your food and keeping track of your calories every single day. And Jeremy eta will actually teach you how to do that. Just use his awesome spreadsheet, the beginner programs, actually not that bad. So get in there, do it, improve your physique.

If you can’t improve your physique, then what business do you have even bothering going to approach somebody, your Introverted Sensing needs to realize that it’s your duty and your responsibility to improve your health and fitness and your physique? If you’re not willing to do that, you just may as well give up now, because that is basic that is a prerequisite. Like, it’s already like I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, like you have no business not being healthy. You have no business not being fit, so you may as well just give up now. If you’re not willing to do that if you’re not willing to go the efforts Give up, like don’t even bother.

Because it’s a requirement, you should already be doing that, regardless of you being in a relationship or not. Because you know, fitness is really hard to fake. Okay? So members of the opposite sex will realize that you’re a much higher value because you’re not being fake compared to and you’re way more trustworthy, because they see that you’re actually putting in the effort, especially if you’re an SI user, it’s not hard, it’s really not hard, you just have to do that. You know, God understand that, like, you know, when you’re associating with other people, you know, to make yourself more desire to associate with more people make sure that they’re desirable as well.

Would I take the people that I play Magic the Gathering with out to the club? Hell no, no, I really wouldn’t. You know, I wouldn’t, because I mean, you’re looking at a bunch of NP turbo nerds that have no clue about fitness, or style, or fashion or any of that. And there’s nothing attractive about them, you know, they like to just stay at home and playing their video games during the mother’s basement thing, and they take that into their adulthood, and it just becomes embarrassing, and I don’t want to be embarrassed around them. You know, like, why associate that why why take those kinds of people in a sexual zones with you, you know, sexual zones, like the club or bar, etcetera, like, why why would you do that? You know, so you just gotta you guys got to think you just got to think about this.

You got to make sure you’re putting like the answer, the question is put your effort in the right place to make yourself more attractive, then make sure that you also have social skills, right? You being attractive, plus you having social skills, plus you making sure that you have handled the learned behavior, to make sure that you have compensated for the missing masculinity or the missing femininity in your life. And especially as we’re talking about si users, it’s likely missing masculinity, right? You know, especially like as a man, right? Like, this would be a serious problem, you know. But let’s say you have all this, all this figured out, let’s say you have all this down. What would you say? What would you do? Where would you go? Well, go to the sexual zones.

If you don’t know what those are, there’s an entire chapter about sexual zoning and the rational male volume five, read that I’m not going to go into detail on that. Obviously, there’s certain places that you can ask out members, the opposite sex, and it would be socially acceptable. And there’s places where it’s not that’s what sexual zones means. So that’s a place, right? Got to think about the time, you know, are they at the grocery store expecting to be asked out on a day or that the grocery store just to buy food like and what time is it like that matters? But what do you say to people? Well, if you’re an introverted sensor, literally just say, like, Hey, I’m going to do this, do you want to come with me, you can give them the choice.

Now the problem is, is that that works really well for si user, women, but it doesn’t necessarily work very well for si user men, because men oftentimes are expected to change their language and just be like, Hey, I’m going to do this thing, you should come with me, or I’m going to dinner, join me something like that. I’m going to dinner join me. Women ultimately like to be told what to do. So you need to be comfortable with telling them what to do.

You need to be comfortable being bossy, basically, you need to be comfortable with being definite. Cory Wayne talks about the definite date. And this is probably one of the major downfalls of Introverted Sensing men out there is because their expert intuition is giving women too many choices. Whereas you need to approach women with I’ve already made the decision.

I already know what my plans are. I’m going to share my plans with you. And then tell you to your face that join me. You don’t say you should join me or do you want to join just say join me, let’s make it super direct like that I get that most si user men are, are ultimately informative, but like just do it that way.

You’d be way more. You’d be way better off. Like in every way. So anyway, I think that heavily answers this question.

So thanks for watching and listening subscribe to the channel. Leave a like comment. I read all the comments. So that being said, Folks, I’ll see you guys in the next episode.