How Can an INTJ Deal With Demanding Family? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte Question how can an INTJ deal with demanding family?
Transcript:
Hey what’s up you go hackers. Welcome to the CS Justin podcast. Today’s question is a fascinating one. It is an INTJ related question.
And it basically is, how can an INTJ male deal with demanding females in my family or their family? Basically, a more roundabout way to put it would be, what can I do as an INTJ? Male to deal with women in my own family? But an odd question. I mean, isn’t it like, kind of on the edge of sexism? I don’t know, will my answer be sexist? Let’s see, let’s find out. Right? Who knows. But let’s actually talk about what’s kind of going on in the situation.
You know, oftentimes INTJ is when they’re in family situations, they just don’t really exactly they don’t know how to act, because extrovert feeling trickster, inhibits their ability to be aware of social norms, even the social norms that are attached to their own family, and that can consistently be a problem. Well, that blind spot ends up causing a lot of negative consequences, which causes members of their family to lose trust in them over time, kind of like how the INTJ is very willful, very triple pragmatic, and because of how independent they are, they will often break the social norms, the family, maybe they’ll sneak out when they’re a teenager, maybe they’ll just go in a completely different direction, take their life in a different direction at their parents really had no designs for or desire for etcetera. And that can be very, very challenging for family, especially, for example, their mothers, their sisters, aunts, and grandmothers, etc. The thing is, though, is that due the lack of social awareness, INTJ is need to be aware of the concept of male space versus female space.
You know, I got a got a friend of mine who’s an INTJ. And although we’re not exactly friends anymore, let’s be honest. And he still lives with still lives with his parents. He’s, I think he’s Wente, seven years old.
Now, still living with his parents, to this day has some E girlfriend, somewhere in United States while himself was living in Australia. And and as much as he enjoys that fuzzy pink e taco, I don’t think he’s actually going to get anywhere with that person. So you know, like, it ends up being a complete waste of time. But throughout all of it, like him acting in a in an independent manner, ultimately becomes an affront to female space.
And a lot of people don’t understand that the home or the nest basically is female space, you could just look at like, I guess a really good example, would be Plato’s allegory of the cave. The cave itself represents the feminine, the cave itself is female space. So I mean, female genitalia acts the same way. And men really need to get to a point in their life where they are resigning themselves to the fact that they need to be out in the hot sun, right away from away from the female space eventually, because if a man stays in the home beyond 18 years of age, or beyond whatever age he is legally allowed to leave the home, especially in Western society.
It’s really, he ends up becoming a danger to himself and other people because he’s still stuck in the female space mindset. When in reality, he needs to grow up and get out of female space and then get into male space after the fact. I mean, how is a mama’s boy exactly going to be able to have strong male friends, male friends who are higher in stature, have better skills, make more money, or a lot more capable as a result? When he’s too busy playing video games inside female space at home? It’s not really going to work. But to go beyond that, when you’re an INTJ, you lack Extraverted Feeling you literally just by default have no social skills.
How are you as an INTJ man actually going to develop social skills unless you actually get out of the house? Get out of female space? That’s that’s the issue, it gets even worse because like, when you think about it, let’s say let’s say an INTJ, male like actually gets gets married and most INTJ men out there are so conditioned by the feminine primary social order are so, you know, for lack of a better term blue pilled, that they end up recreating female space within their own home. You know, it’s like, okay, they’re married, they have woman and they have children, and they’ve recreated that female space within their own home. And they’ve resigned themselves to not really participate in male space, male space ends up giving them the social skills that they need, you know. So, quite frankly, like staying, staying in this environment with all these women within your family, and within the socially considerable, socially labeled social primacy of female space within the context of your own family.
You’re not You’re literally struck stunting your growth as a man, especially if you’re an INTJ. Because you’re extroverted feeling trickster, you’re not learning needed social skills. This is why it’s so important for men to especially INTJ men to read the book, The rational male volume five, which is like the player’s handbook or whatever, most people think it’s a pickup artists book. It’s really not it’s actually a book on teaching INTJ men social skills.
That’s literally what the book is. It’s not a big up artists book, it’s literally teaching social skills, social skills that they lack entirely. And oftentimes, you know, when you have authors like Rollo Tomassi, who he himself is an INTJ, he himself has Extraverted Feeling trickster, he himself lacks social awareness. Because of that lack of social awareness.
You know, oftentimes people realize, okay, this is my Trickster is what I lack in my life, I have to focus on building up my trickster, and then that leads to trickster mastery, where it ends up becoming your master function. So that would basically mean that Tomas, he started out, like with no social skills in his life, but then now he’s a master of social skills. You see what I’m saying? As much as many people within this audience would disagree with me when I make that statement, but I’m sorry, it’s, it’s a fact. That’s that’s technically true.
So learning and you know, when you’re an INTJ, learning from fellow INTJ, is your best bet, because it’s like, okay, well, how did you learn social skills when you didn’t learn when you had no clue what social skills were to your extra feeling trickster? And that’s why the rational male volume five is so important for INTJ men to read. But really, you know, just you know, how to answer this question. Like, overall, it literally just comes down to get out of the house. Okay.
Like, I mean, look at it this way, what business does an INTJ? Man who is of age? What business does he have actually complaining about demanding female members of his family? What business? Does he have to complain? Yes, he has no business complaining, because I would submit to this INTJ be like, Okay, well, is this your roof? Is it your home? Are you paying all the bills? Like, is it yours, then? If and I would surmise that it’s likely or presume that it’s likely that the answer to that question is no. And if that’s the case, you got no room to pitch. Get out of the house. If you don’t like demanding female members of your family, leave your family.
It’s not hard. I mean, come on, go get yourself like you with a minimum wage job you could probably get yourself a car pretty easily go live out of your car, yourself a car and a storage room. And then like a fridge you know, inside of your inside your vehicle, which I have that system that works really well for me, I’m super mega comfortable. If I have to, you know, live like that on a consistent basis.
You know, bathroom was at the gym, it’s open 24 hours a day. I can even you know, sleep in that parking lot in my car, it doesn’t matter. But the bottom line is, is that the end of the day, I could be free. You know, what are you doing as an INTJ? Who’s triple pragmatic, the most independent of all the types but what you’re too pussy to leave out of your car and you just want to you know, like, complain about the demanding female members of your family.
What are you doing if your life seriously, if it bothers you that much, you can actually make decisions to get out of that situation. You just have to be willing to like not have to like wake up in a warm bed every morning under that roof. Then again, like I could make my Subaru as comfortable as I want it. I’d be super happy in it by myself.
I doesn’t matter. That’s why I got the Subaru case, I had to live out of it, or use it for travel or whatever, see what I’m saying? Like, there’s no, there’s no excuse, you literally have no excuse, there’s so many ways to make money. Even if you have a minimum wage job, you could still actually live out of your car and a storage unit and a gym membership and be perfectly content. Okay.
And then, of course, you know, if you’re living in that situation, because your ePHI child just can’t deal with having such a low quality of life. And that’s why I exist, because I can’t handle that level of low quality of life. I really actually can deal with that. Okay.
And, of course, INTJ is exists to increase my quality of life as their intp golden pair, when they’re being affectionate towards me, you know? Yeah, sure. That can, that’s a thing that can happen. But the reality of situation is, is that if you’re complaining about demanding female members of your family, it’s all on you. It’s on you, bro, you got to get out of that house.
You know, it’s like, you know, it’s like in the matrix, you know, in The Matrix Reloaded when Neo was talking to the architect and the architects, like there’s levels of survival we’re willing to accept. So come on INTJ is what level of survival are you willing to accept? That’s really what it comes down to. If you don’t like those demanding female members, your family leave. It’s not hard leave.
And there’s literally no excuse, there is nothing keeping you from leaving. Okay? Now, if you’re now if you’re married, and you have demanding female members, you know, perhaps in laws or her in laws are whatever within your family, then that just means you’re a weak man. That just means that you know, you don’t have any frame, right? If you want to, if you want to learn about frame read rational male Volume One, the chapter called Iron rules of Tomasi rule number one frame is everything learn about frame, basically, like, you don’t orbit around women, women should be orbiting around you. And if they are misbehaving, then there needs to be consequences to those women.
It’s not hard, okay? You know, consequences that I exercise and regular basis is just completely leaving, I disappeared. I’m gonna go away from those people and have nothing to do with them. Until they figure it out. Oh, where’d Chase go? Because time, attention and resources come at a premium when they’re coming from me.
I don’t just give them to anybody. Right? So that time, attention and resources, I’m going to take all those things away and give it to someone else. Or maybe I’ll just spend them all on myself. Why not? I don’t have to give them to someone else I was spending on myself.
Who cares? That’s the point. A lot of people just don’t understand these concepts. And it’s very, very frustrating to me. So, you know, it’s like, I bet this person was was trying to be like, hey, you know, how do I social engineer the wind in my life to make it easier for me under their roof? And I’m like, get your own roof.
That’s, that’s really the answer this question, get your own roof. And if it is, under your own roof, oh, my God, that’s even worse, because then I could be like, you’re really pathetic as a man, like mine, you know, have some boundaries. And this is why you know, so I recommend the INTJ is they read the book attached. And they also read the book called boundaries, basically.
And I believe both of them are [email protected] forward slash reading, make sure you’re reading that. So you just understand just how codependent you’ve become because your Extraverted Feeling tricksters, lack of social skills got you there in the first place. And you’ve allowed this, you know, social order within Western society to condition you into behaving this way from the beginning. Wow.
You know, good job there. I’m sure you’re a top performer in your life, little INTJ sure you are, you know, this is really what happened. So you guys gotta be careful. You guys got to watch out for this.
Like, the lack of social skills, you can be completely blind to the fact that you’re already failing in life. And you’re completely blind to it, because you have no idea what the social consequences are. If your behavior now, as well as especially social consequences of behavior that you’ve had in the past, because your Introverted Sensing demon will mess with your Fe trickster. And you don’t even remember how poorly you’ve behaved from a social perspective in the past, which again, is leads to this endless cycle of failure in your life as an INTJ.
Man. You really just have to make yourself the top priority you have to be okay. A with being selfish. Remember, masculinity is defined by one thing and one thing alone, putting yourself above the tribe.
That means putting yourself above your family, above your church, your community, everyone at your job. Everything you have to take care of yourself. First you eat first. You are first.
You know if I’m if I’m, if I’m eating, if I’m eating dinner at home, no one eats until I do. That’s the reality. Why? Because that home wouldn’t even exist for them without me. I’m the king.
Start acting like a king. And if you’re living in someone else’s kingdom, when you’re a king, maybe you should be leaving their kingdom and working to set up your own kingdom in the process. Because guess what, folks? That’s what being a man is all about. But if you’re not capable of doing that, you’re not a man.
Get out. Seriously, it’s embarrassing. You’re embarrassing me. Like, don’t be an embarrassment.
Grow up. Alright, it’s not hard. Anyway, folks, hopefully this answered that question. So thanks for watching, and I’ll see you guys tonight.
