Why would an ESTJ break up with an ISFP? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte question why would an ESTJ break up with an ISFP?
Transcript:
Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph, obviously. I mean, yeah, at least I’m not, you know, I mean, I could be Christ Taylor, or I could not be. And it would probably be great if he was on the show.
Doing these from time to time. I wonder, we’ll see what happens but but yeah, ti daddy and Christ Taylor at the CES just podcast be nice to have like a morning show where we have like a panel like something I’ve been thinking about. I wonder if you folks would be down with that going through current events and, you know, making fun of people with how silly they are with their personality type and just exposing people why not? Why not do that? So who knows? Imagine all the conspiracy theories you can have with such a show. You know, like, I don’t know, think of all the crazy things we could say about Kim Kardashian.
It’d be fantastic. So today’s question, we have a question. So I’m just gonna read it out. Ha, Sophie been good.
My ESD J partner recently left me. And I’m in retrospect, seeing that the relationship was essentially doomed from the start, because no matter how much I gave or acquiesced, they wouldn’t take accountability for most things or compromise on anything, honestly. Okay, maybe they also exhibited a lot of the things they faulted me for, for example, occasional jealousy. But there was always, but it was always justified and mine wasn’t theirs was always justified.
They just held on to every little thing that happened. Well, they answered si users do. We fought once a month Max, and claim they couldn’t take it anymore? And didn’t believe I could do better than said it wasn’t my fault. Citing incompatibility, then bounce? Is this fair and acceptable behavior for ESD? J’s? Or was I within immature one? And if so, how can I tell for future reference because as an ISFP, I just cannot help myself when it comes to ESG Jays? I mean, who can I mean, seriously, it’s a companionship relationship.
It’s tied for highest sexual compatibility who cannot help themselves? Of course, like, I mean, you know, it’s like, it’s like an ENFP. They just, they just can’t help themselves. But be attracted to inf J’s or INTJ is just kind of like, you know, it’s like a bug’s to a bug zapper, that’s normal. So what you’re going through is ultimately normal.
Although, I don’t understand why you have the opinion that your relationship was essentially doomed from the start. Because if that was the case, I’m sure both of you wouldn’t have actually gotten involved. Also, is your ESTJ partner the same gender as you? Or are they actually the opposite gender? Like what’s what’s going on here? Because, you know, that matters, sexual sexuality, always Trump’s personality type. And this could be a simple case of hypergamy.
If the ISTJ is, in fact is, in fact, a woman, this could be just hypergamy is optimization, and then using the what little or what negativity was actually in the relationship as an excuse for her to optimize her hypergamy his sexual strategy? Who knows? I don’t know that you didn’t provide that information. So based on this, I’ll try to be as neutral as possible when it comes to gender. But really, when you guys are asking questions like this, make sure you add in all of the relevant details, because it helps me answer the question more accurately in the future. So you’re in a relationship with an SI parent, si parents have very high standards for their comfort, and anyone who breaks those that breaks that Zen basically, they’re going to be bitter over time.
And every time you break that Zen it causes them to trust you less and less and less and less. It’s kind of like a spy who’s working undercover in another country. Every action he takes gets closer and closer and closer to the spy being burned basically, and basically useless and their cover is blown. Or on fire.
You see what I’m saying? Well, it’s no different with an SI user when you’re in a sexual relationship with them. If you go out if you’re if you even if it’s not intentional, and you make them uncomfortable, every time you make them uncomfortable just piles up over time in their head, and they’re basically keeping score. You have to understand every introverted sensor keeps score. If you’re an SE user, in a relationship with an introverted sensor, they’re keeping score 100% of the time, and they will use that scoreboard against you even 20 years later.
My wife she she constantly is aware of the scoreboard now I am keeping score in my head at all times. She even asked me last night. She’s like, well, I need you to tell me, You know what action I can take? What options do I have for my ni to take? So because I want to make sure that I have something good on your scoreboard or I’m not editing, adding anything bad on your scoreboard? And I’m like, Ah, yes. Thank you, thank you, woman, because you are starting to understand how I as an SI user work.
And you know, you always hear about First Corinthians chapter 13. You know, love keeps no record of wrongs. I’m here to tell you folks, that’s a lie. And the Apostle Paul doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.
And he can go jump off a bridge for all I care, because I don’t know why everyone considers him a real possible, I highly doubt like, you know, God, the Creator actually thinks he was an apostle, let’s be honest, more like a serial killer. That was that was that was Paul, he was or I mean, Saul, the serial killer, actually. So you might want to consider that. Sometimes love does keep a record of wrongs and has to keep a record of wrongs so that us as AI users, for example, can actually have self respect and you know, do that thing called enforcing boundaries.
It’s like a really big deal. You see what I’m saying? Now, I there’s not enough information here for me to make us particular judgment about the ISFPs character, and I’m not going to or even the ESTJs character. All I can really say is that, like, if there was some jealousy? Well, the thing is, is that ISFPs out there, I’ve noticed can be extremely possessive people, especially ISFP men, they’re extremely possessive, which makes sense because you know, like, they have like mate guarding, they don’t want to get cooked because a woman a woman, being afraid of being raped, an immense fear of being cooked are like the same. If you want to harm a woman, the most pain you could ever cause a woman is to rape her in the most pain you could ever cause a man is to cook him basically having sex with another man, basically cheating, right? This is why cheating.
That’s why men who cheat aren’t really punished as severely as women who cheat for example, from a societal or social point of view, right? So please be aware of that, but men are severely punished for rape, you know, so just like, understand, like, you know, there’s different priorities to the sexes, and that’s really important. But the thing is, though, is that like, if we’re not, if we’re assuming there’s no competing sexual strategy here, there’s no optimization of hypergamy within this. Within this, it could be just as simple as the ISFP made the ES TJ super uncomfortable, made the ESC J feel unwanted, made the ISTJ, who was likely shadow focused, with ISTP shadow, like they had no freedom and the ISFP just became so possessive, kind of like standing on the seashore and holding sand your hand and holding it and squeezing it tightly and all the sand slips through your fingers. It’s possible the ISFP was actually very stifling of the ES TJ in this particular situation.
And the ES TJ probably didn’t feel trusted with their ability to make decisions. And that’s one of the difficult things about a pedagogue relationship, especially a pedagogue relationship with two decision making heroes. There’s a lot more conflict available in a pedagogue or companionship relationship. If there are two perception heroes, it’s usually goes better for perception heroes in a pedagogue slash companionship relationship.
But when it comes to decision making heroes we have te hero for the ES TJ and FYI hero for the ISFP it can be end up being a competition, a competition for status, basically. And if the ESC J ever felt like you were putting your status above them, of course, they’re not going to stick around, of course, they’re not going to feel desirable. And the thing is, too is that ESD J’s because they’re any users, they need to be trusted in order to handle certain things. And it’s very possible you didn’t trust them to handle certain things.
Like for example, you know, ISFPs are usually mechanical, mechanically oriented. And ESTJ sometimes ISTJ is like a, just a, you know, for the love of it, we’ll just start working on their car and experimenting with their eyes to be shadow than the ISFP comes in. Goes ENTJ subconscious takes control of the situation takes the tools right on the ESTJs hand and as I go, I’m going to help you now and then does all the work for the ESTJ ruining the experience in the journey the ESTJ was exploring with her ISTP shadow, and the ISFP is completely unaware of what they’ve just done. Yeah, that happens all the time.
Welcome to Expert intuition trickster for ISFPs not really being aware of the consequences of their decisions. And then the ESTJ it’s like looking for that ti within the ISFP the ISFP ability to listen, well, that’s a TI demon, the ESTJ ti heroes just like, you’re not going to listen to me, why should I stick around? You know, you don’t want me enough to listen, you don’t want me enough to actually, like bother writing things down that are bothering me, because I keep a record of wrongs. So but you won’t bother keeping a record of what’s been bothering me and that I don’t see you making the effort to fix it was just telling their any child that the ESTJ is not as wanted as the ISFP is claiming, or at least looking like or making it out to be, which this is this is very common between these two relationships, these two people within this relationship, very common, how to solve the problem, it’s not necessarily an issue of compatibility, it’s really an issue of communication. Both of you need to actually have a scheduled time or a regular time or known time, where you sit down and actually talk about your relationship.
Because if the ISFP is not going to bother asking the ESTJ, what they think about the relationship, the ES TJ is just not going to bother sharing anything because INFP subconscious, which is an NP, usually, when it comes to sexual relationships, the subconscious has a little bit higher need than the ego. And the subconscious is going to be like, Hey, if you really, really want me, you’re going to figure out what you did wrong. The problem is, is that technically sets up the ISFP for failure, because they don’t have the TI necessary for the figuring they only have an F fi hero. So that too is a problem.
And ESTJs need to be aware of that you can end up setting up your ISFP for complete failure if you’re not doing that. So you might want to avoid that in the future. So yeah, I mean, these are just some of the pitfalls that can come as a result of this relationship. Yes, the sex is great.
But also anytime you have a fight like this, you need to go have more sex, like it sounds ridiculous. It really, really does. But sex is probably like out of all of the eight possible compatible relationships out there. The companionship relationship is the one that needs the most sex, you need to have sex every day.
Like if you’re not having sex every day and you’re in a companion relationship, you are going to fail and the relationship is ultimately going to fail. And you don’t want that. And I believe we’re going to be exploring this in the upcoming failure proof your relationship course that we’re about to release, I’m still in the process of filming it, we got all of our visual aids for it. And they look fantastic, including a second edition of the companion guide that will only be available with the course.
And of course, it’s pretty long, it’s at least 60 videos explaining the ins and outs of relationships for the sake of a course. And it’s going to be available for early bird pricing. And then it will be made for sale afterwards, I believe it’s going to be $100 to get in after early bird pricing. So if you guys are going to want to get in on the early bird pricing ahead of time, and we’re going to make it very obvious.
There’ll be emails being sent. There’ll be videos here on YouTube podcast episodes, even guests that we’re going to have on our show talking about the content within the course, et cetera. So don’t worry, we’re going to be very vocal about it. But it’s going to be happening probably before the end of this month or sometime during next month.
In the post. Valentine’s day glow, which there is no such thing as a post valentine’s day glow. It’s more everyone’s just realizing how much they don’t actually like their lives is typically what happens. You know, Valentine’s Day has always been a day that has contributed to my personal depression in life.
And I’m sure there are many people out there, like me, because February is basically the worst month of my life every year, but it’s fine. February is almost over. And I’m pretty excited about that. That being said, we’re going to make this course available to everyone.
So anyway, folks, thanks for watching and listening. Hopefully this sheds some light on the situation that’s going between this es TJ and as ISFP hopefully they can work it out. I don’t really know. But either case there’ll be some personal growth for the both of them as a result of this breakup.
And there’ll be better for it in the long run. So anyway folks that being said, I’ll see you guys tonight Can you believe you push a button
