cs joseph responds
Transcript:
What does an INTJ firstborn and ENFJ second born sibling situation look like? But before I can answer please consider subscribing the channel. So I can be granted the Nobel Peace Prize for eradicating war via psychology and become an honorary member of Celestial Being and hit the alert bell so that you can always know when I go live. That being said, What’s up ego hackers? This is the CSJ podcast and I’m CS Joseph, here to respond to your questions on all things union analytical psychology or the four sides of the mind. And the requester for today’s question is Vincent James.
Let’s take a look, shall we? Seven answers today. And we got David Luca dello INTJ, a one W nine nutritionist political nerd and progressive liberal. I don’t type people. Thank you for being direct about that, sir.
I think MBTI is entirely accurate at describing me. But I don’t think it’s fair to apply it to others. You haven’t met the Type grid yet. Apparently, I will encourage people to take the test.
But unless they do it and share it with me, I won’t put them in a box personal preference, even less so with people I care about. I’m an INTJ firstborn, and my younger brother is definitely an extrovert. I want the best for him. So I am biased about what the other letters might be.
I had a shadow but worst, and when the sun went down, it was still there. It was still talking. It wasn’t my imagination. I don’t know what that means.
It followed me everywhere. I wanted to participate. I couldn’t get rid of it. It was obnoxious, immediate required food but wasn’t my responsibility.
It turned out pretty good. Despite my worst efforts, I think he’s using metaphors to describe his younger brother. I don’t know if my little brother is specifically an ENFJ. But it also believe that kids are immature and explore things that might not manifest as an adult.
I told my mom that I wish it didn’t have a little brother and she thinks I could live without him. One of us is serious, and the other is joking. Who knows? Okay, that seems to be the only answer. Fair enough.
Not really sure how to respond to that answer. I guess it was funny ish. She’s just used the ISFP subconscious if he actually is an INTJ. Is all of that Sure, why not? Anyway, what does an INTJ firstborn and ENFJ second point sibling situation look like? First thing is first competition for attention.
Because of extroverted sensing inferior, it’s so sensitive, and it needs attention at all times. But se child comes into play, and oftentimes is trying to take the spotlight off of se inferior. And this can create si demon enmity between the INTJ older firstborn and the ENFJ second born, which would that would really suck, that’s the first thing you’re going to want to look out for, at least after at least at the INTJ gets to the point where they’re willing to complain about being the spotlight being taken away from the ENFJ is either going to go them further, or the INFJ is going to feel guilty about it and give FYI child what it wants while simultaneously also telling my child that it’s being childish. And guess what this is when an ENFJ younger sibling would accuse the INTJ older sibling of be weak, because yes, that would definitely happen, which causes it even to come out even more, and then the INTJ would go out of the way to get vengeance against the ENFJ consistently in this particular situation.
The bottom line is if you’re parenting these two types simultaneously, you need to go out of your way to make sure that you are giving an equal amount of attention to both, or when the time is appropriate for one of them to have all the attention, you need to tell the other one, hey, it’s their turn. Or it’s for them, or, Hey, if you want attention like this, maybe you should accomplish this, et cetera. It’s super, super important. Luckily, they have a little bit of emotional compatibility, at least it’s a bronze pair emotional compatibility on that level.
And that competition for attention can actually be, I guess, dissuaded or avoided if the ENFJ is trained to, you know, listen to the INTJ. And the INTJ feel good. And the INTJ is trained to give the opportunity to the ENFJ listening ENFJ consistently, even if the INTJ disagrees with the ENFJ to give the ENFJ space to share their thoughts, etc. And then at that point, they’re pretty good at that they’re really good.
The other thing is to is allow the INTJ a lot of space to achieve as well, because ENFJ is often because of how affiliates if they are and they think that they gain power through having credentials, etc. Whereas the INTJ is just trying to get credentials and accomplishments for a particular goal. The ENFJ is doing it for credentials sake because they just want to really look good there INFP shadow requires it and their ti inferior so desperately wants to be listened to by other people, that they oftentimes are afraid that no one will listen to them unless they’re properly credentialed. And because of how they affiliative they are because ENFPs care very much about authorities.
Whereas INTJ is don’t really care about authorities, the INTJ will use authorities to their advantage. But do they actually really care about set authorities, they don’t really not that much. But the ENFJ absolutely does. So, and oftentimes, the ENFJ younger sibling is constantly patronizing the INTJ older sibling and telling the INTJ over older sibling on how to basically live their life, that that even includes career advice, and even to the point of calling the INTJ week, which literally causes hatred inside of the INTJ, when that actually happens.
So you might want to like watch out for that. The other thing is, too is that they both need a choice. And you have to make sure that as a parent, if one of them is making a choice versus the other one making a choice, right? That you do not make you make sure that one’s choice does not negatively impact the other meaning that one’s choice does not take away the others choice, which is extremely difficult to do when you have to, and I use her children, it’s very hard to do. Because the basic nature of introverted intuition is, and this is something that Anya and few years know, especially that if an NI inferior commenced to making a choice, they know that there’s a chance that other if they walk through a door, other doors to them will close.
And they know that just by making a choice other options that they had previously are no longer available to them. And when you put two and AI users together doesn’t matter if they’re ni inferior child, parent hero, it doesn’t matter if you put two ni users there because the nature of extroverted sensing when an NI user makes a choice that expert sensing activates and puts out an impact. So like, for example, an sp when they make a decision, and they’re not really aware of the consequences of their actions. Most ni users are not aware of the consequences of their actions with ni heroes being the most aware of the consequences, their actions, and SP types being the least aware of the consequences of their actions with NF J’s, for example, in the mill, there, there’s there’s there can be a potential conflict there.
So if then, if an INTJ makes a choice, that could mean that some of the options that the INTJ had previously are not there anymore, and some of the options that the ENFJ had previously are also not there anymore. And that could be a serious problem as well. So you have to make sure that both the Introverted Intuition functions of these two children are not impeded. And go out of your way to make sure that if one makes a decision, it doesn’t take away potential options or choices away from the other.
However, the nature of expert sensing Good luck, because anytime an NI user makes an NI decision, it creates S E impacts on people around them. And oftentimes, it creates consequences for other people, where other people have to clean up the mess of that, and I use it as just a negative example. But it’s also could be a good thing, an NI user makes a decision. And that se gives a good consequence or a good experience to other people or good obligation to other people around them.
The thing is, is that both these types don’t want to be obligated by each other. But if you’re not intervening, and they’re making decisions on their own, those impacts will impact each other. And it could actually lead to violence, if you’re not careful. So please, please, please make sure that you’re giving them choices and keeping their choices separate so that when they make the choices, there won’t be any negative consequences to the other person.
Unless necessarily as a parent, you’re judging that one of the children actually deserves it in that particular moment. Like, for example, you have a competition between both of them and say, Okay, which one or which one of you start swimming first, you’re the one that gets to pick the ice cream, and the other person just either gets to choose no ice cream, or they have to pick the flavor, they have to get the flavor that you pick because you won. Okay, in that particular parenting situation in terms of competition, that might be okay, but it will still create a conflict. But then again, it will increase their performance and their effectiveness in that particular moment.
But then again, if the ENFJ one wins that particular competition for performance, like for example, learning to swim, they will run it in the INTJ space and make the INTJ feel weak and the INTJ will just end up hating them anyway. So you might want to like count the cost before you do that as a parent, raising an INTJ and an ENFJ. Since they’re both n J’s, it really will lead to conflict, it will lead to sibling rivalry, the best thing you can do is guilt the ENFJ when they’re mistreating the INTJ, and calling the INTJ, weak, and then also making and shaming the INTJ. Basically the shaming the INTJ child when they’re making the ENFJ feel stupid, because that’s what they’ll do in response or or even initiate that on their own.
That’s really the best that you can do as a parent in that moment. Otherwise, it’s just going to be a free for all and it could just lead to physical violence. If you’re not careful. Please, please be on top of that.
So if you’d like a chance to your question being answered on this channel, please post it on Quora and tag me or leave it as a comment below. If you want your type to be verified by our coaching staff please visit CS joseph.ly forward slash CS verify and book your appointment to get your type verified and with all that being said folks I’ll see you guys tonight
