cs joseph responds
Welcome to CS just response. I’m your host chase here to answer your questions on any topic young analytical psychology or the four sides of the mind also known as four sides dynamics. Today’s question is, what is the difference between ISFP and INFJ? And this question comes from Athena one here on YouTube channel. I’ll read her question right here.
Question If INFJs and ISFJ’s have ti child, excuse me the sarong question. Could you please do a comparison video of ISFPs and INFJ’s doesn’t have to be super detailed, but many ISFPs mistyped themselves as INFJs due to Extraverted Feeling Nemesis being so high, and the team seem to have a lot of similarities in terms of behavior, both are quick to door slam people, both tend to reflect the people around them ISFP, shapeshifter, INFJ. Mirror, the optimistic and pessimistic functions are very different. But they do seem to have many similarities, especially since a people focused ISFP will want to help people grow this resembling an INFJ.
To the untrained eye, some clarification would help. Thank you. So this comes from Athena one once again. And I have to state that I vehemently disagree that people often get confused between INFJ and ISFP, they’re completely different.
The only some, the only thing that’s somewhat similar to them is that they’re both extroverted sensors. They’re both both introverted intuitives the differences is that an ISFP, they just do whatever they want. They’re super mega independent. Actually, if you guys are watching the show, called the Outer Banks on Netflix, John B, who is the main character of the show, is actually an ISFP.
And I just do not see how someone like, you know, very pragmatic, all about being independent, whereas an INFJ, who’s all about being interdependent, gotta be on the team, you know, whereas you know, someone like John B and ISFP, they don’t care about being the team, they want to go at it alone. And handle it. They like to solo life has a web inf, J’s don’t like the soul of life, it’s usually inf j’s are, they end up soloing life, because they’re too afraid of performing badly due to their performance anxiety in front of others, that they end up not really getting that much involved with people and they get all alone, and then they get all butthurt about being alone. And and then they you know, which can lead to Introverted Sensing demon bitterness over times, it’s like, well, no one, no one appreciates me.
No, no one thinks that I perform well for them. So I’m just going to, you know, do what I want instead. And then they end up staying up every night and having worthless online relationships over the internet, which just causes them to become even more codependent. And they don’t actually get to live life, because they’re too afraid, and really just comes down to fear.
The thing is, is that these INFJs need to understand that, you know, God created people that are compatible with them. And if they just don’t put themselves out there, they’re never gonna give themselves the chance filled in reality situation is just their fear getting in the way. But the fear complex of an ISFP is completely different. They’re afraid of people thinking less of them, they’re afraid of losing status, losing reputation, they’re afraid of other people thinking that they’re stupid, basically.
Whereas again, the INFJ is afraid of other people, you know, performing badly in front of other people, and they’re also worried about people not choosing them worried that people will betray them. Whereas an ISFP is completely oblivious to betrayal, they’re oblivious to other people betraying them. And in fact, oftentimes, they end up believing the people that are betraying them are not actually betraying them. And this this is what allows ISPs it, both of them, including ISTPs, to be under attack when it comes to motivation.
I just wish they’d kind of like you know, figure that out. But a lot of people don’t understand that or get that or, or, you know, can can live their life that way. There’s mostly because I SFPs you know, they believe that they’re like the luckiest of the luck lucky because of their Introverted Intuition child, they it’s literally liquid love, they get away with so much they have so many close calls and alliances is why they sit at their slot machines at the casinos all the time pressing that button because it’s like, I’m feeling lucky. And this is my special slot machine that I’m used to being at all the time.
And it’s where the one I’ve gotten the most winning. So that’s my lucky slot machine, and they get all super upset butthurt that other people are sitting in their slot machine, it’s like, wow, really, is that is that really necessary. And the other thing is that the INFP is a very moral person. But the INFJ is not a moral person.
They’re ethical, which means an INFJ can take on the bad behaviors of other people around them and absorb those bad behaviors and mirror those bad behaviors and become bad. Basically, an ISFP doesn’t do that. And ISFPs like, you know what’s in it for me? And as long as I can increase my status, I’m good. But if people don’t think less than me for doing this, I’m not interested in doing this.
And that’s not what I want out of the situation. So they’re not gonna do that, or as an INFJ is like, Oh, but I hope someone, you know enjoys microphones for them, which is why they go out of their way to like be like these super nympho sex goddesses or sex Gods etc because they over they overvalue sexual performance more than anything because it’s, that’s how they actually determine their self worth is depending upon how they perform in that in the bedroom. Why is this is because they trade performance for loyalty because INFJs believe that if they perform for other people, they will be loyal to them ISFPs they’re really responsible in that area. And that’s like, yeah, I could perform for people, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to be loyal to me.
So ISFPs take a little bit different ISFPs are like, well, if these if these people are constantly asking me for my opinion, and I have a very valuable opinion, they’re more than likely to actually stick around because I could potentially, you know, contribute in the area of academic or potentially intellectual discussion, which is what ISFPs are all about, their te inferior, just so desires to be around a TI user who’s super intelligent, very logical, so they can provide input to that ti user on a consistent basis. This is oftentimes why ISFPs find their situ, you know, are trying to be in relationships with ti parents, ti child and ti heroes, often, which they’re probably most suited to be with ti parents, quite frankly, this is why bronze pairs have the highest marriage frequency as well as the highest marriage success within long term relationships. So the bronze pair to ISFP would be like an intp. Although I wouldn’t recommend a super ego or Enigma pair which would be with an intp ISFP would also be really good with SF J’s that’s their golden silver pair as well.
inf J’s is completely different INFJs they should be with NFPs, which are statistically the more selfish of all the types. But then again, INFJs are actually really super selfless. Whereas an ISFP is actually pretty selfish because they’re Introverted Feeling hero. Now the only thing that causes an Introverted Feeling hero to not be so selfish or to not look selfish is because they worry that they’re not caring enough towards other people.
So they go out of their way to give to other people to make it look like they’re caring as to whether or not they’re actually caring, mid depends, but the thing is, is that at the end of the day, they still don’t want anyone to think that they’re not caring about them, and they worry about others you know, not having the same value systems that they are, or they’re they’re worried about other people seeing them as uncaring, etc. So then they will go out of their way to you know, again, make it look like or manage a perception INFJs don’t care about their perception. In fact, inf j’s are completely oblivious to their perception sometimes. And even though an INFJ How can we walk around town thinking that you know, she’s pretty good in bed and everyone loves her and whatnot, when the reality situation is everyone around her thinks she’s just a hope? And it’s one of the other reasons why she doesn’t realize how she’s coming off as like super alienating other people.
And it’s because everyone knows these things about a burger expert and thinking tricksters completely unaware of the fact that people think so little of her and think that she’s little Ho, and that she’s easy, because everyone’s like, Oh, she just cares about you know, her performance in the bedroom. Don’t believe me? That’s like a true story that’s like actually happened to me and other people that I’ve coached in my life because, guess what, for some reason, that ESTP vise of Nymphomaniac definitely transfers over to INFJs because INFJs have ESTP subconscious, so they end up behaving isn’t nymphomaniacs, because they draw their self worth from that. Whereas an ISFP draws their self worth, from efficiency and their ability to execute, quite frankly, they take their art very seriously. But when they’re able to take their art create a business out of it, like if they’re running a band, or if they’re running an assembly line, because of something they invented, etcetera, that is absolutely far more important to them instead of something like minuscule, like any kind of performance or sexual performance, etc.
A good example of an INFJ in popular culture would be Will Hunting from the from the movie Goodwill Hunting, and his INFP mentor is played by Robin Williams. So it’s an excellent Matt Damon film, I recommend it to check that out. As far as ISFPs go, really good example of ISFP is the main character John B from Outer Banks, which is a Netflix show that’s out right now, it’s pretty interesting. My wife likes it a lot.
That’s an example of an ISFP. completely unaware of other people potentially betraying them or screwing them over where INFJs are kind of a little bit more paranoid like that. That’s a really good difference is that inf j’s are far more paranoid nines FPS, whereas ISFP is things like everyone is a good person. It’s like that childish behavior where it’s like, oh, you know, little kid, and they think adults all have their act together through our situation as they don’t except for some reason ISFPs maintain that belief with them for the rest of their lives, and they’re like the only ones that ever do it and then I have to be that out.
Ask that comes by until the icfes. Yeah, that person is actually about to betray you, then they don’t believe me. And they’ll come back later. Like, yeah, you screwed me over and like, see, this is why you should like actually listen to me for once.
That would be nice, you know. But hey, it is what it is lessons learned, right ISFPs virtue advice is its diligence versus idle hands are versus being idle they are, they can be the big most hard workers ever. But they could also be the laziest of all the types. So they kind of go back and forth between that and they’re INFJs.
It’s more of integrity versus corruption. They can become really corrupt when they have corrupt people around them, and they take on those behaviors, but you get rid of those corrupt people, and then the INFJs are no longer corrupt themselves, and they let go of those. That’s why it’s probably best to keep INFJs alone for as long as possible so they can discover who they really are. And oftentimes, they they want to complain about being alone and how and they may end up feeling worthless about themselves because of how willing they are.
But the reality situation is being alone is actually the most healthy thing for an INFJ because it protects them from corrupt people. So they have to win. It’s funny because NF P is who are the most selfish of all the types, they have to end up teaching those NFPs how to be selfless otherwise, as NFPs are going to corrupt the INFJ as well to the level where the INFJ will be willing to rub sores for their NFP lovers, for example, which has happened a lot in my coaching practice, and even an INFJ that I dated for like, I went on two dates with her like years ago. That was also her story as well.
Interestingly enough, she ended up going to jail, and then ended up coming out of jail. And I’m like, wow, you’re like the most worthless human being I’ve ever met. How about having self respect, but it’s kind of hard for an INFJ to have self respect, because they’re so critical towards their own self worth. Whereas an ISFP, they are not critical towards their own self worth whatsoever.
What they are critical about is their loyalty, they actually take loyalty very, very serious. And sometimes it can be so loyal to a fault, but their wives their loyalty, in that they know when it is time to actually cut someone off. It’s the no one asking her question, for the sake of this little video that we’re doing here. She says both are quick to door slam people.
No, that’s not true. ISFPs don’t door slam people. There’s an ISFP in my life, who just won’t let go of me. Even though people have told him multiple times, all J screwed up screwed the family, which I didn’t but and he never believed that.
And he always he always tells me I’m welcome. And I always appreciate that about him. And anytime he calls on me, I stop what I’m doing, I drop everything. And I take his call and answer his questions.
And I treat it with respect. Because in my mind, that’s what he deserves. He’s very moral person, he goes out of his way to to hell that is very responsible with his hands, and he doesn’t allow his freedom of choice to get in the way of giving other people a bad experience or giving them or making them uncomfortable, which is excellent. I that’s something I heavily appreciate about about this ISFP.
And I’m very thankful for that. But at the same time, you know, INFJs, they, they you know, they end up having that ti child God Complex, I’m always right, whereas an INFP they’re not really it’s being right doesn’t mean that much to them. Being good means everything to them, whereas the INFJ is going out of their way to try to be good, but they can’t whereas the ISFP is going out of the way to try to be smart, but they can’t, etcetera. So this these are the fundamental differences.
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This one does not like INFJ’s for some reason. You have it back words I’m an INFJ my wife is an ISFP. She just wants to help all the time. She spreads herself too thin almost always. I on the other hand will help only if that person is doing some thing to help themselves. I do not get butt hurt because I’m lonely. I crave solitude more than anything. I can count my friends on one hand and still have finger’s left over. To me more than three is too much trouble. I am Brutally Honest Always. I really don’t care if you want to hear it or not. I was raised by malignant Narcists. From the time I could interact with other’s I have been a loner. You only burn me once. If your a Narcists I Mite even get a little pleasure out of Laying bare all your faults. fears and insecurities. I’m the truth teller and the scape goat all in one. You Call it Door Slamming, Not even close More like A verbal 2×4 upside the head. I do this because I want your attention focused solely on me. that way when I tell you what I know to be true because your actions are what really show who you are as well as how you do things. I don’t need to be on a team. I can work on a team fine but I do not crave that interaction with people. I do value loyalty above all other things. I always felt that was because that loyalty was never given by my parent’s. Not a god complex at all. We are right most of the time . Notice I said most We are not perfect we are just so in our head all the time we see the dynamic no one else does I also constantly run scenarios in my head before I proceed in order to mitigate risk 9 times out of ten my plans go the way they should the 1 is usually nothing more than what can’t be planned for. We are major empaths. It is not that we can’t be good But when some one want’s publicly take shots at us we will not stand for that which is why I’m writing this. Yes we like it simple details are boring and we don’t need them for our KISS attitude ( KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID). Just tell us what needs to happen then get out of the way and watch the show. Most details are petty crap put in place for people to justify there own existence in an organization. as a 20 year retired veteran I have seen more than enough of this. any veterans out there know the unwritten rule in the service. ( You can add to a rule or plan but you cannot take away from that rule or plan) This means that those senior in rank get to reinvent the wheel every time some thing needs done because this is that time the senior leader get’s to shine because of his organizational skills. ( what a Joke) the soldier does the work the Platoon Sergeant(Oxygen Thief) gets the credit. Well enough on this rant. You make us sound like a bunch of needy baby’s We are anything but that.