Season 12, Episode 17 Transcript
– Hey guys, C. S. Joseph with csjoseph.life, doing another episode, the final episode of season 12. Today we’re gonna be talking about what types are socially compatible with the INFP. Yes, it’s taken us this long, 17 episodes to get to the INFP. I’m sorry, not sorry. I mean, it’s taken a lot of work to do, and quite frankly, I am super happy that I don’t have to do these anymore because it’s like, wow, I need some variety here. Seriously need some variety. So I’m definitely going to be going away from social compatibility with the next lecture series on type. And I’m also going to be doing some comparison lectures as well. Anyway, these tend to run a little long so I’m gonna try to speed things up a little bit. So what is social compatibility? Season 12, Episode 17. What is social compatibility for INFP? So what is social compatibility? It is what we call friendship compatibility. We are combining face-to-face relationships with shoulder-to-shoulder relationships, bringing them together, averaging them together and then as a result, we get the algorithm for friendship. Friendship compatibility, AKA social compatibility is not romantic compatibility, it is not professional compatibility.
This functional compatibility is focused on just friends, so be aware of that. Although technically the top two of this particular algorithm are also the top two for the romantic compatibility as well, be advised. And it’s also the same for the professional compatibility as well, be advised. I love saying that a lot for some reason, weird. Anyway, so with that in mind that is how a functional compatibility is basically and the cognitive functions come together and the cognitive functions are in access. Extroverted functions want to consume introverted functions, specifically an example extroverted thinking wants to find introverted thinking. If you have a bunch of introverted thinkers in the room, the extroverted thinker will feel smarter as a result of being around those introverted thinkers, et cetera. That is just an example with which we’re going with it. So that’s what functional compatibility is, is the cognitive functions coming together, fitting the other like perfect puzzle pieces or not so perfect puzzle pieces. It’s kind of fluid, it’s soft. You can kind of make some puzzle pieces work but they just don’t work as well, et cetera.
And it has a lot to do with, like a radio and a transceiver, your cognitive functions are different channels that you can tune into someone else’s cognitive functions with their channels, et cetera. And sometimes you’re able to broadcast really well or receive really well, depending on how much bandwidth is available and the bandwidth changes depending on what level of cognition you have available in your mind. So to facilitate that, that’s why I have my lecture on the eight cognitive spectra so you can understand how our minds work like a radio and how we’re sending and receiving data like transceivers, mental transceivers. And that is how compatibility works in that regard. And as always, my disclaimer, compatibility is not the same as camaraderie. So you could be two NFPs, an ENFP and INFP and be like best friends, but that’s because you have super high camaraderie with each other which is very decent, more shoulder-to-shoulder weighted relationship and not so much face to face. This is about kind of more mixture of shoulder-to-shoulder, and face-to-face, specifically for friendship within this form of compatibility is not the same as camaraderie. Socionics would like to state that duality relationships so you being in a relationship with your polar opposite is highest compatibility, when reality that’s actually super high camaraderie, it’s not the same.
We have camaraderie because, our race if we’re incompatible with somebody mentally, we could still potentially have high camaraderie with them, which allows us to either learn from them, grow from them, do tasks together very well and somewhat develop a friendship, but the friendship is based on camaraderie, it is not based on compatibility which means the relationship may not be as deep and meaningful as most people would think it is, I guess. And it could potentially be more likely that it would be shallow or from a distance or arms length, et cetera. So just remember when I’m doing these lectures, social compatibility has some specific caveats to it, and these caveats are it’s based on friendship. This is not romantic. This is not professional. And compatibility is based on cognitive functions fitting together very well for deep, meaningful friendships. And compatibility is not the same as camaraderie, that is a different form of coming together between the types. And this is usually because of similar traits like similar temperament, similar interaction style, being INJs together or INPs together or NTPs together or SFPs together or SFJs together, et cetera, et cetera. Those types of things determine more of a camaraderie togetherness instead of a functional compatibility.
So, anyway, with that in mind, let’s begin the deep dive. We have three sections for this lecture. Section one is actually talking about the order of compatibility, according to friendship, according to social compatibility. For those listening on the podcast, of course. And then section two is we’re gonna talk about the four least compatible types with the INFP. And then section three is going to be talking about the highest compatible types. And because I’m a nice person right now you could basically fast forward this lecture to six minutes and begin the actual content after our usual intro. So anyway, with that being said, those will see on the podcast here is the order of compatibility according to social compatibility for the INFP. Starting off the NJ is at the top, followed by SP second. NP is third, SJ is fourth. Going a little bit deeper. NFJ is first, STP is second, NTJ is third, SFP is fourth, SFJ is fifth, NTP is sixth, STJ is seventh and NFP is eight, fellow NFPs. And now the list of the 16 types from top to bottom, from deep meaningful friendship to more shallow acquaintance of friendship with the potential for high camaraderie but again, low functional compatibility. So, it’s kind of like being really, really really super mega close, on the level of like almost in love, but not in love, or like bromance almost, you know what I mean or more shallow and proper, I guess. I have no idea how to really describe that, just very shallow and surface oriented relationship will be towards the bottom. So I’m starting at the top for one through 16. First highest compatibility type or compatible type of the INFP is the ENFJ, that’s number one.
Number two is the INFJ. Number three is the ESTP. Number four is the ISTP. Number five, it helps if I do counting properly. ENTJ is next, INTJ after the ENTJ. And then number seven is the ESFP. Number eight is the ISFP. Number nine is the ESFJ. Number 10 is the ISFJ. Number 11 is the ENTP, that’s me. Number 12 is the INTP. 13 is the ESTJ. 14 is the ISTJ. 15 is the ENFP. And 16 is the INFP. So there you have it, that is what this algorithm output is for the 16 types in order of social compatibility for the INFP AKA the dreamer. Remember, INFP are behind the scenes type or also known as back ground types. So they are informative, responding, control just like the INTP, which is what we did yesterday. They go at their own pace because they’re very control oriented. They’re very responding. They like it or they prefer it when people come to them, instead of them having to go to others for information.
They like to be informed, but they also like to inform others and keep other people informed. It makes them feel good when people think highly of them in that way. So they want to bring information to those people that would increase their status and cause others to think highly of them as INFP, which makes them feel good. It makes them feel even more so obligated to their own selves to basically continue to share that information as it builds up their status for them and their reputation amongst those closest to them and even those not so closest to them so that they can really revel in that personal status in that personal principled approach. It also them develop their moral compass so that their high moral compass of Fi Hero so they can make decisions based on, okay, this is a bad thing, this is a good thing, et cetera, et cetera. And they have a very huge value system that’s also based on principles and rules. Those principles are very Te oriented, very Te rules. It’s kind of interesting that values go together with the principles and rules of Te values with Fi and they are together in an axis, yin and yang equilibrium to a point with one more primary and one more secondary. It’s kind of like a slanted yin and yang equilibrium to a point. But again, that’s how cognitive functions work. Yin and yang doesn’t always have to be in like perfect balance, even though we’re trying to seek balance in our lives and I guess most people would argue that we gained enlightenment as a result of reaching that balance, but that’s not necessarily how our minds mechanically work, right?
So it’s like having a Venn diagram and one of the circles is slightly smaller than the other one. That’s basically what that means. So just be aware of that as we’re talking about cognitive functions. So anyway, there are also the idealist, all about trying to bring in the ideal perfect world. INFPs live in a little dreamland, they’re constantly daydreaming all the time. They wanna bring their ideal or aspects of their ideal dreamland into reality so that they can have it in reality and not just their ideal little dreamland in a world where there’s no war and there’s always world peace and people are always so caring and they always think so highly of the INFP. And they all believe that the INFP is the best person ever. And because of their guidance and their personal philosophy the INFP is able to change the world overnight and then all of a sudden we have this ideal utopian society with which we live in, right? Okay, yeah, that’s not necessarily true for all INFPs but especially younger INFPs, the more immature INFPs and maybe even some of the mature ones, arguments for utopia actually really do come from INFPs more than any of the 16 types, so just be aware of that. I think that’s also why statistically INFPs are the one type to have the most presence of SJWs within that type, with ENFPs as a close second and then INFJs is third and ENFJs is a close fourth. It’s kind of interesting how NFs are definitely represented in the SJW spectrum, if you know what I mean. So anyway, with that being said, let us now explore the bottom four types that are compatible or least compatible with the INFP AKA the dreamer. So we have INFP plus INFP. This is like, this is great. You’re kind of watching this happen and it’s like, I don’t know. You’re watching a Hamlet play and the guy that is like the lead star of Hamlet is also setting the stage on fire at the same time. It’s definitely an amazing spectacle. And I recommend, getting some popcorn and watching, the same way that one would recommend the INTP versus INTP situation.
So this is very, very interesting. This INFP is telling this other INFP, wow, you never make me comfortable and I am never in the mood to deal with you. And it’s like, well, you just like, never are motivated to do anything, you’re the laziest person I’ve ever met. No, you’re lazy, actually. Maybe if yesterday you actually got something done, I would be more motivated today to do something, but because you didn’t do anything yesterday, I am so not motivated to do anything like today. And it’s like, well, sure. Well, if you’re not motivated today, then fine, I’m not gonna be motivated tomorrow. In fact, I’m not even motivated right now. And I’m just gonna slam the door and go in my room and be alone and not have to have anything to do with you. Wow, why do you think so little of me all the time? Well, it’s because you think so little of me all the time. It’s like, well, but I’m such a moral person, don’t you benefit me being around with my glowing personality? No, I don’t need that because I have a much more glowing personality than you do. What, how could you say that? I didn’t know that you felt that about me. And it’s like, well, I think it would be obvious by now because I’m never motivated. There’s no way I’m gonna make you comfortable and I know you don’t make me comfortable. So I have to be the one that makes me comfortable all the time. It just goes on and on and on and on and on and it just becomes a comparing dick contest. One INFP believes they’re more moral and more capable or more organized than the other one. The other one starts believing the other one that they’re more smarter than the other one and that their personal philosophy is out of date and it’s not up to date and it’s a problem. And it’s just absolutely insane. The INFP is super insecure that the other INFP might be stupid. They’re afraid that the other person is stupid. But this INFP is afraid that this one’s stupid as well, and then worried that this other INFP is a bad person. And then this INFP is also worried that that person’s a bad person too, and it’s just not going to work. And this INFP is looking for comfort from the INFP.
When this INFP is looking for comfort for this one. They’re both looking for comfort from each other. And it’s like, wow, that’s really going to work out. Wow, INFPs, you should definitely have friendships with fellow INFP as you’re trying to look to the other person to figure out who’s making who comfortable. Hey, maybe we should have a schedule. INFP A has Monday. Okay, on Monday, you’re going to make me comfortable. And then on Tuesday, I’ll make you comfortable. So then on Monday, INFP A definitely makes INFP B as comfortable as possible, totally hoping that the next day, you know, on Tuesday, that they’re gonna to be made comfortable. But you know, the first INFP was so comfortable and just so happy about that, that the next day they just kind of were such in a great mood that they kind of forgot about making the INFP comfy. Then it’s just completely even more conflict, great. Yeah, not the best. So not the relationship I recommend. There is a lot of interference, cognitive functions, shotest distance between two points in a straight line. Fe is trying to eat Fi. Ne is trying to eat Ni. There’s lack of motivation. They’re trying to provide warning. It’s like, well, I’m safe enough already, and I don’t have to worry, I have to listen to you. And there’s a lot of interference and cross sections and intersections between the other cognitive functions, trying to get to where they’re going. And they have to find all of their cognition within the shadow. Definitely not a relationship I would recommend for a friendship, no. And then we have the INFP and the ENFP, which is like, oh, we could be sisters or oh, we could be brothers. And quick, let’s go manipulate people together and change their minds and adjust their beliefs according to our beliefs.
And then, because once they’re believing things for us that means they’ll take us out to eat, you know? And then we’ll be able to have a really nice dinner because we got these people, convinced these people to think really highly of us even though we’re not really that great but we’re not gonna tell them, right? And I’ve actually seen that happen. I actually had a personal experience with two NFPs, getting together, coming up with a war plan to convince some guys at a bar to take them out and convince them to take them out to like this. Be like, Hey, we really wanna go to Ruth’s Chris, ’cause we definitely want a really nice dinner and steak tonight and we’ll definitely make it worth your while. And then the guys totally fall for it. And then like, no one gets laid that night. If you know what I mean? It’s because the girls just basically left the table and left them with the bill and they had absolutely, they got completely screwed and the girls are walking off and you know, and it’s like, yeah, because that’s what happens when NFPs team up. Because remember, in the absence of explanation or communication, perceptions become reality. So NFPs just start marionetting people around them. And it’s because they could see what people are going to do before they do it. They also could see what people are thinking and they can adjust the thinking of other people around them. It’s a form of thought manipulation. I can’t believe Mr. Joseph that you’re calling me a manipulator. And I’m like, okay, listen, all social interaction, 100% of social interaction, all of it, positive or negative, is manipulation.
I don’t care about the negative connotation and I don’t care how you feel about it. That is a fact, 100% of all social interaction is manipulation, positive or negative, whatever. I mean, why the hell do you as NFPs actually bother, putting on a good first impression. That in its own right is technically manipulation. That’s a fact. So again, don’t freak out and have like some negative emotional reaction to me just being like, hey, you’re being manipulative, because technically everyone is manipulative. So it’s not like, and I’ve called out plenty of types for being manipulative, including my own. So pipe down, it’s not really that bad. It’s okay, it’s okay. So INFPs, ENFPs, super high camaraderie because they’re both NFPs and they could definitely be the dynamic duo and they could totally take some people out together and it gets pretty interesting. Especially like in finances I’ve seen sort of really awesome con man stories or con jobs about NFPs teamed up together and doing these like huge elaborate cons and actually pulling them off and it’s just unbelievable to see. And that’s the power of when these two get together from a camaraderie standpoint because they just really know how to work the crowd. They really know how to adjust people’s thinking, they know what people want, they know their passions, they know what other people desire. And then they could just put those little desire carrots out there and adjust their thinking, introduce additional stimuli and then predict how these people will behave all the way through it, and they’re literally marionetting them. It’s a form of mind control and it’s this amazing thing to watch is these NFPs literally mind controlling other people. It’s interesting and I’ve even fallen prey to it at one point in time. Luckily, I got up and left before I paid for anything or ordered anything at that point in time, if you know what I mean. But anyway, what’s the problem here?
When they get together and they’re trying to have a friendship and it’s like, you know, the ENFP is criticizing the INFP. You’re not a good person because you’re not making me comfortable and you don’t think highly of me, you never think well of me and I do so much for you. And the INFP is like to the ENFP, what are you talking about? I do so much for you. I’m worried that you’re not a good person. I think you’re the most selfish human being in the world. No, I think you’re the most selfish human being in the world. And that’s the thing, when you have two NFPs together in this regard, you can definitely shut them down by causing them to actually turn their attention away from you and turn them or attention on to each other and then just make it an argument about who’s the better person or an argument about like who’s more selfish and then it completely breaks down. And then you yourself are the winner, even though in that bar situation that they were trying to be manipulating you into doing something, even though, and you’re able to turn the tables on them as a result of just being like, Hey, which one’s the better one or who’s more selfish or just kind of twist it a little bit in that way and just watch them crumble, you gotta be really careful when you do that. But that is definitely one way to get around that if they are going together as a team to, again, manipulate other people, something to be watched out for. But remember, short distance between two points is a straight line.
Four points of intersection here with how the cognitive functions are going. The cognitive functions are not able to find the data that they’re looking for and it can be a problem. Definitely not something I would recommend. The INFPs personal philosophy with the ENFPs creed, the ENFP is trying to get the creed out but if it doesn’t match the personal philosophy of the INFP that’s going to be a problem, it’s just going to lead to conflict and it’s not going to be very good for that friendship. And they will not be friends anymore. And to the point where they will cut them out of their life or actually quite frankly, it’s not even direct. What they’ll do is they’ll just ghost each other because that’s what NFPS do, they just ghost people for some reason. I hate it when they ghost people. So what I like to do sometimes, knowing that I’m about to be ghosted by an NFP, I ghost them first and then that really gets them going, if you know what I mean. NFP ghosting, it’s good times. So then we have the INFP and the ISTJ, very different. And this is absolutely rough, rough, rough friendship. The INFP is trying to motivate the ISTJ and the ISTJ is afraid of what the INFP might do.
And the INFP never communicates their intentions to the ISTJ, which keeps the ISTJ in a state of fear and in the state of uncomfort. The INFP starts to dislike the ISTJ because the ISTJ is always like so smart, so much smarter, you know, blah, blah, blah and it just turns into a competition. Well, you may be smarter than me, but I’m more moral than you are, which really off the ISTJ. And then the INFP is worried that the ISTJ is a bad person. The ISTJ is not even remotely aware the INFP is a good person and not even capable of doing good things. And the INFP is trying to motivate the ISTJ, that’s not going to work. The INFP is looking to the ISTJ for getting a good experience. The ISTJ is worried that they’re not giving a good enough experience, or they just don’t care about the experience that they’re giving to the Si child of the INFP. So again, there’s a lot of conflict here. And again, shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I’m sure that Te parent is enjoying that Ti demon, and I am sure that Ne parent is enjoying that Ni demon. Definitely not a relationship I would recommend. And the we have the INFP plus the ESTJ. That’s really good because this is like literally competition, competition, competition.
And yes, they will accuse each other of being lazy, they’ll accuse each other of not knowing what the other person wants. They accuse each other of, you’re not making me comfortable or you are just so uncomfortable all the time. They’ll be accusing each other. It’s funny watching an ESTJ tell an INFP that they’re ugly. I have witnessed that in a professional setting, that was a really bad. And the INFP was in tears afterwards and the ESTJ was just like, eh, it is what it is. If you had dressed better, you wouldn’t have been so sorry for yourself now, would you? And then walk out. Because the ESTJ likes to walk by, oh, there’s a room here, let me throw a grenade in and then shut the door as I continue to walk and buy, et cetera. And that’s literally what happens to the INFP in this regard. The ESTJ can be insanely cruel because the ESTJ doesn’t give a damn how the INFP feels. But for some reason, socionics says that this duality relationship is the number one for INFPs. Could someone explain that to me? The INFP is all about how they feel, but the ESTJ doesn’t give a damn how the INFP feels. So tell me, socionics, how is it possible that it’s the number one relationship of INFPs. Can someone explain that to me? Oh, you can’t, that’s right, you can’t. Anyway, it was just absolutely ridiculous to me. And the INFP is afraid that the ESTJ is stupid and the ESTJ is already worried that they’re stupid and the ESTJ already afraid that they’re a bad person but the INFP is just worry that they’re a bad person.
It’s like the INFP has already made up their mind about the ESTJ. The INFP is not there to support the ESTJ at all so the ESTJ ends up going even more afraid of being a bad person. They do not feel emotionally supported by the INFP and it just turns into hell. It’s absolutely horrible. And the ESTJ, Ne child was trying to motivate an Ni critic, that’s impossible that’s not going to work. You know what I mean? And the ESTJ is looking for some stimulation from the INFP. That’s not gonna work because the INFP is not a stimulating person. They’re more of like, they could be academically stimulating, but the ESTJ already views themselves as an academic. So why do I need to pay attention to an INFP if I’ve already gotten all my academia? And in fact, I could prove on paper that I am even more academic than they are from an ESTJ point of view, right? So again, shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Look at all of that interference. They’re like all trying to tune in to where they’re going but they got to go the furthest possible distance ’cause they’re polar opposites. But for some reasons, socionics says, this is the best. Why, I don’t know. I get so triggered over that, so triggered. This is just not gonna go well. And here’s the other thing, the ESTJ, they have this INFP subconscious, and this INFP subconscious is trying to develop its own personal philosophy. And then come along and you see this INFP trying to show their personal philosophy and try to sell their personal philosophy to the ESTJ, you think the ESTJ is gonna go with that?
No, because the ESTJ has their own personal philosophy or better yet, the INFP comes along and be like, I’m way better at finance than you are. I’m way better at organizing than you are. I’m way better at taking charge than you are. And then as a result of that, the ESTJ is like, wow, I mean, you’re obviously better at being managerial than I am and being a secretary than I am and being middle management than I am. And again, it just becomes this conflict, competition, comparing dicks fest between these two types. Definitely not a friendship I would recommend at all. Stay away from this. This is super huge conflict. And as much as these are already as well, but this one’s particularly a problem. So anyway, let’s move on into the compatible types. So we have INFP and ENFJ, and this is awesome. So because INFPs is aren’t NFP, they are prone to depravity in the same way that ENFPs are, except for an ENFP their vice mainly is depravity, is kind of a secondary vice for the INFP depravity, but INFPs can be insanely lazy and they can be insanely selfish. Thank God for ENFJs. These ENFJs keep them honest. ENFJs verify the beliefs of the INFP. ENFJs keep the INFP from becoming lazy because ENFJs will lose respect for the INFP if they’re lazy, right? Because the ENFJ goes out of its way to be so caring towards the INFP and to be so supportive and to give the INFP so much comfort and stimulation, specifically geared to the INFP and to share their thoughts with the INFP and verify things for the INFP that the INFP is like, oh, this is so great. Well, the INFP gives something really good to the ENFJ, the INFP keeps the ENFJ from losing their integrity. Because for example, INFJs, their number one vice is corruption, right?
And because of that, the ENFJ, it’s more of a secondary vice of corruption. And the INFP can help support that integrity within the ENFJ and keep the ENFJ a good person, because their Fi hero, basically that moral compass is that moral compass that the ENFJ looks for. And as the INFP develops their personal philosophy, they can hand that personal philosophy over to the ENFJ and the ENFJ can then execute that personal philosophy. And they start groups for activism, they get very involved in community involvement and development, et cetera, in community organizing and whatnot, even politics. I’ve seen many ENFJs take personal philosophy from the INFP and then get involved with politics to bring about that personal philosophy in the political field, right? And this is how this relationship just goes synergistically. Not only that, the ENFJ can actually see into the ideal dream world of the INFP that they’re daydreaming and actually can work to bring aspects of their dream world into reality for the INFP. It is an absolute fantastic relationship. I recommend it. It is excellent. So let’s find out why. Because, oh, look, the cognitive functions are matching up directly on the spectrum that they should be, because every Fe hero is seeking to make Fi hero feel good and supported constantly. Well, no conflict there, because the INFP knows how they feel and the ENFJ knows how they feel, no conflict. Or their parent functions, same thing. The INFP always knows what the ENFJ wants and they appreciate the ENFJ is responsible for what they want, and the ENFJ will always tell the INFP what they want so no conflict because the ENFJ knows what they want and the INFP knows what they want. Desire, passion, plans, the future, the Ni future before the self of the ENFJ. And then the INFP could see the collective future and actually work to actually bring about a better future for the ENFJ, especially with the personal philosophy of the INFP. Or the INFP can dream up a solution, an amazing solution that would solve the problem of the ENFJ. It is absolutely brilliant what INFPs can do with that. When they could use their dreamland to create ideal solutions and present it to ENFJs and those ENFJ implement those solutions and it solves problems, especially social problems or philosophical problems even, or problems that has to do with law or rules, et cetera.
They’re able to solve those problems and then give them to the ENFJ and the NFJs can bring it into reality. It is awesome every time I’ve seen it. And I’ve always been so thankful for when INFP do this. I actually worked with one at one point in time, and he was dating an INFJ friend of mine and he was just this fantastic writer, very good at writing books and writing a short stories, poetry, absolutely amazing writer at what he could do. It was super impressive when it happened. And having that available at that point in time, the ENFJ became so distressed with their business and they needed some help. And then the INFP just stood, he’s was like, well, why don’t you do it this way? You would wanna do it this way because if you did it this way it would be good because of, and they gave this whole list of reasons to this ENFJ, after the ENFJ just like, wow, that is the most amazing thing I have ever heard. Yeah, I’m gonna do it right now. And that’s literally what the ENFJ did, literally did it right then and it just built even more synergy. This is the power of the INFP because the INFP can literally use their dreamland to dream up solutions to solve problems before those problems even manifest or take place. It’s almost kind of like they’re this hermit prophet type person and it’s really cool, but it’s so focused on people and the ideal that it can actually change the fabric of society as we know it, absolutely the dopest.
I mean, let’s be honest. I’m not very compatible with INFPs, but I have a lot of respect for them with what they’ve been able to do, and especially within education as well. I knew I NFP that I was kind of close with and whatnot and he was a professor at a local college and he also developed his personal philosophy and he was also able to solve and provide solutions to some major social issues that we were having within the community to the point where the poor was being supported, the needy was getting fed. It was absolutely amazing to see what he was able to do just from my classroom in a college, because he was able to inspire and bring inspiration to his students to be able to make changes in the community. That is an awesome human being. So it’s kind of interesting. Can you see what I’m going with this guys? Like INFPs at their worst, they could be super mega manipulative and super selfish and depraved in that regard, but when they are focused outwardly on others and they’re not being selfish, their personal philosophy can really be the bridge that is built, that can save and change lives. And that’s how this relationship is so important because the INFP is literally handing the blueprints to this bridge, to the ENFJ, and the ENFJ is getting their hammer and they’re building it out. That’s why this particular relationship is so important. It literally has the capacity to change the world. And this is what INFP offer in conjunction with NFJs, right? So let’s do another one. So the INFP they’re so focused on their comfort zone, they need to be comfy. They need to have the opportunity to experience new things, but do it on their terms, not to be forced against them by other people.
And the ENFJ focuses on making them as comfortable as possible, given the best possible experiences over and over and over again, even if the INFP wants to do experience the same thing over and over again, which they typically do in some cases because it’s part of their comfort zone, right? But the ENFJ knows that if the INFP is getting stagnant, the ENFJ will change things up a little bit and provide additional challenge to the INFP to get them out of that rut that they’re in. And then once they’re out of that rut they can actually live life better and be more productive and actually dream up additional solutions to solve problems especially people related or social related problems, et cetera. And so the ENFJ knows their INFP so well, can read them like a book so well that it knows specifically when to introduce that stimuli that might take that INFP out of their comfort zone, but again, they’re not stagnant anymore and then they can go back in their comfort zone again but this time they’re not stagnant and it’s really great to see when ENFJs do this because ENFJs are amazing mentors and they can mentor INFPs and train INFPs especially in areas of like fashion, for example to get them going, to keep INFPs contributing. That’s the thing.
To get them out of their selfishness and keep them contributing, that’s the power of the ENFJ in this relationship. And then once the INFP is in contributory mode, the contributions are astounding almost every single time. It is so great to see them do that and it’s so great to just see their heart poured out before all of the people and for the people in their community based on their personal philosophy and how that philosophy can help people, not just financially. It could change the laws to get people to help that they need et cetera. And it really, even academics like with children, et cetera, and getting children to make sure that children are being properly educated and not left behind or abandoned, et cetera by the education system INFPs are there to basically stem the tide and make sure that their personal philosophy is upfront and center so that people know that that is not a principle that they should be going around. So for the sake of the children, getting the education that they need, for example. And again, that is a result of this relationship. INFPs are worried that the ENFJs are bad people or not as good as they are. Well, guess what? ENFJs are already kind of worried that they’re not good enough anyway so there’s no conflict there. This presents an opportunity for the INFP to actually help engage with their moral compass with the ENFJ. So that the ENFJ is getting the recognition from the INFP. The INFP is basically telling the ENFJ, Hey, I feel really good about you. I’m glad that you want the right things for me, that you want the right things for us. You’re such a great friends, and I really appreciate your support. And stating that appreciation keeps the ENFJ so focused on the moral compass and able to do what they’re supposed to do in that regard. The INFP, their Ni critic, because they see how irresponsible everyone else’s with what they want but they see the ENFJ really responsible with what they want, which is great for the relationship. With Ni critic, INFP see everyone else in the world is super irresponsible for they want, so they don’t allow themselves to want things unless it’s something they know for a fact matches their personal philosophy and they’re not going to allow themselves to want things unless something does.
And if it does, and their morals are not corrupted, it would be a good thing, for example. Which by the way, I actually skipped a function, but we’ll go back to that. But already, they’re critical with what they want, but the ENFJ already critical towards what the INFP wants, and the ENFJ really appreciates that the INFP is already aware that people are irresponsible that they wants. They don’t allow themselves to want things. Then the ENFJ is like, well, I am responsible with what I want, and I’m glad that you know that you may not be responsible like I am. And seeing that humility there it just allows me to respect you even more and have a better friendship with you, right? And then the ENFJ has a hard time remembering things. So it likes to use the INFP as a walking totem, a walking library to remember things for the ENFJ and it also allows the INFP to gain additional training especially in social situations or with their dress, with their fashion to make even better first impressions people. The ENFJ definitely provides that support for the INFP. And then also, because ENFJ doesn’t remember things, INFP remember things for them. But the ENFJ just is not really aware of the experience, the sensations their having because they’re more focus on outward more focused on giving sensations, instead of receiving sensation, but the INFP doesn’t really care about that either so no conflict. And the INFP does not really give a damn about what they think and good thing, because the ENFJ doesn’t give a damn about what they think either. So it’s actually the other way around, because Te inferior, the INFP is afraid, actually has fear in them that the ENFJ is going to think less of them. And the ENFJ is already afraid that what they think may be incorrect anyways so they spend a lot more time thinking about everything. So again, there’s no conflict there. And then the ENFJ is always able to go to the INFP and be like, I think so highly of you.
Which totally makes the INFP just go, yeah, this guy totally thinks highly of me. Yes, I feel so good about that. You know what I mean? And that, it just produces a lot of synergy between the two of them, a lot of electricity, a lot of positive negative polarity that just brings them together super complimentary instead of being repulsive. There is no repulsion here. Although conflict can come, it is rare. The relationship because they’re so together, because they’re so able to tune each other and read each other like a book, it could be an explosive relationship with lots of fireworks and it’s absolutely amazing in every way that you could think of. But because of that, it has a potentially, if someone is lacking maturity here or there, or human nature kicked in because of bad experiences in the past, maybe jumping to conclusions here and there, there can be the propensity of pain just like there is a propensity of pain in any relationship and the pain would be super great and super cutting because in super deep, deeply cut in that because they are just so integrated together and it hurts even more. Well, luckily though, because of how all the positive things is that even if that is that may be fleet, even that conflict comes it may be fleeting and then just come back together and they’d be okay because they recognize that they are basically made for each other as a result. You know what I mean? So no issue there. Now we have the INFP-INFJ relationship which is literally identical to the ENFJ relationship. The difference is that instead of functions directly talking to each other across, they are talking from the parents that here, which has built and humility and built in respect in these functions, because the INFP just really looks up to the INFJ and how willful the INFJ is, how desirous, how passionate the INFJ is. And the INFJ looks up to the INFP like how moral they are and just absolutely awesome in that way. And the INFJ looks up to the INFP because of how comfortable they are all the time and how the INFJ never has to worry about whether or not they’re making the INFP comfortable at all, because they just know that whatever that they do, it’s not going to like, cause any damage to the INFP in that way, because they’re still going to be comfortable with them at the end of the day. And they really like how the INFP is just the solid rock, the solid terra firma that they could stand on.
The INFP being the master of consistency basically, kind of like that mount hermit that is levitating above a still lake in a trance meditating heart. And then the INFJ comes by and throws a rock and the rock, their meditation’s so strong the rock doesn’t even make contact with the INFP. And then it just falls into the water and the INFP doesn’t even notice and it’s still within their trans et cetera, and that is literally that relationship right here. And it’s just absolutely great. They work out very well together. And the INFP really appreciates how honest and thoughtful the INFJ is, in the same with the ENFJ is super honest and thoughtful with the INFP because the INFP is just like, wow, I’m so glad to be with such a thoughtful and caring person. You know what I mean? And that this person is my friend. I really, really value them. That’s what the INFP has in that position. And the INFJ, this also to verify the belief system of the INFP and make sure that the INFP personal philosophy is good and it stays good and it’s not corrupted by moral corruption or corruption of rules or corruption of principals in the same way the ENFJ does for the INFP as well, because there is verification of belief systems there, which is excellent. The INFJ is worried that people might betray them with their Ne nemisis and they have that built in paranoia that INJ paranoia through Ne nemesis. But the INFP is not really worried about that because they do not allow themselves to want things. INFPs do not often betray people, although yes, they do have the vice of disloyalty, but that disloyalty doesn’t come out unless there’s like a huge pattern of behavior and a lot of wrong ahead of time.
And if there’s this huge pattern behavior and the NFJ has not spent enough time to actually remedy the situation, it’s well, I mean, sorry, that’s cause for me to like end the relationship. And so the INFP goes and they end up with somebody else like that. And then the INFJ is like, well, you betrayed me. And it’s like, no, actually you had a pattern of behavior. There’s four separate instances where you did these things and I already told you not to do these things. What am I supposed to do? And then the INFP moves on from the INFJ at that particular moment. And it was the INFJ who was basically paranoid of the INFP. It created a self fulfilling prophecy. It’s like when the INFJ accuses the INFP of cheating over and over and over and over and then the INFP’s sense of, well, if I’m gonna do the time I may as well do the crime, right? And the INFJs paranoia that was accusing the INFP of cheating actually ends up causing the INFP to cheat because the INFP is so sick of being accused of cheating to begin with. See what I’m saying, self fulfilling prophecy, that is an issue. NFJs need to be aware of this self, actually, all NJs need to be aware of the self fulfilling prophecy in this way, because Ne critics and Ne nemesis actually can create self-fulfilling prophecies where you are literally creating the situation you are trying to avoid, don’t do it. So with that in mind, the INFP is worried that the INFJ may be a bad person while the INFJ is very critical towards the self-worth anyway, so there’s no conflict there. And there’s no conflict with what the INFP wants, they’re not going to betray the INFJ. They’re very loyal, their Si child, provided they stay comfortable around the INFJ and the INFJ appreciates they’re comfortable, because it allows them to be more comfortable and engage them, especially in the bedroom, because the INFJ doesn’t have any performance anxiety and Si child just completely eliminates all the performance anxiety on the part of the INFJ in the bedroom, especially with an INFP, it is fantastic, absolutely fantastic.
And I have known some INFJ personally who have had many bedroom experiences with INFPs, and they say it is exquisite. And well, I’m gonna take the word for it. So moving on. The INFJ does not really care about what they’re experiencing. And the INFP is just not aware of what the INFJ is experiencing, so no conflict. And the INFP does not give a damn about what they think and the INFJ is not really aware of what they think, so again, no conflict. The relationship works out. There’s built in humility and built in respect amongst the functions, because they look at the other function as like they’re higher. And they’re like, well, I’m their lesser, but they’re higher here, but, hey, I’m your higher over here and you’re my lesser over here so it ends up being a really good relationship, definitely one I recommend. And then number third slot, number third slot, wow. The number three slot, INFP and ESTP. This is like the third highest according to social compatibility. This is super mega common for marriage that I have seen in the United States of America and first-world society for INFPs. I have seen more INFPs end up with ESTP than I have any other type with the exception of maybe INFJs, I’ve seen super INFJs. I’ve actually not really seen very many INFPs marry ENFJs, I just don’t see it very often. It can happen and I would recommend it, but for some reason, INFP-ESTP relationship in terms of marriage is even more common than INFP plus ENFJ for some statistical reason, I’m not really sure. But let’s break it down. The child function is absolutely engaged with the hero function, the child loves flying on the back of the hero. The hero’s flying around saving the world with the child, works out great. The parent functions are parenting the inferior functions and developing the inferior functions, making them better. The ESTP is making them the INFP super intelligent. ESTP is like, Hey, you should read this.
And then they INFP is like, okay, yeah, I’ll read it. And then the INFP reads it and they become stronger because remember INFPs, if you want it to become smarter, if you want it to become the most capable and absolute most capable that you could possibly be for your own selves you need to read and read and read and never stop reading for the rest of your life. You should always be reading every single day if you’re not already, and the ESTP knows this. Remember, ESTP’s job, their primary goal in life, an ESTP’s primary purpose in life is to make other people stronger, right? So when they see INFPs, and INFPs are typically seen as weaklings in the eyes of ESTPs, the ESTP will rise to the occasion, come to the INFP and teach them and make them stronger. And that’s literally what’s happening in this relationship. The INFP is made stronger by the ESTP, but the INFP is able to make the ESTP become more human. That’s the key. Because Fi hero definitely provides every child with that moral compass so the ESTP can become more socially developed so that when they’re trying to make other people stronger, that they’re not actually crushing people under them instead, they’re actually able to interface with them and be more like the sage on the mountain, the INFJ, and it helps build up the ESTP-INFP compass or subconscious so that they can interface with people more. And through the INFPs guidance in a social situation, the ENTP becomes more effective especially spiritually speaking, socially speaking, idealistically speaking, and being able to improve other people and make them stronger.
The INFP is able to supercharge ESTP in this manner. And the INFP is able to gain more intelligence as a result, the ESTP seeks to make them more comfortable. And this relationship is basically a supercharger of synergistic personal growth between the two of them. They are able to reach their goals, their dreams together. They are able to have super high synergy in such a way where they’re able to grow. It’s all about self growth, self-development, self-improvement as a result And that is here in this relationship. Now the INFP-ISTP, super similar, very, very similar to the INFP-ESTP. The difference is with the ISTP is that you have to be careful because the hero function could be really big and crush the inferior function. So in this relationship, which is basically identical to INFP plus ESTP, but in this relationship you have to be communicating constantly, you have to make sure that you have a lot of maturity, you have to make sure you have a lot of patience especially for the INFP, because the INFP could tell the ISTP, Hey, you’re a bad person, which will just only infuriate and cause the ISTP to rage. But then the ISTP is at risk of telling the INFP that they’re stupid, right? And that would also be a problem too. It can create bitterness and hatred in this relationship. But again, if they are communicating, if they are being really mature, they can have an amazing relationship that leads to even more personal growth because it’s the heroes interfacing with the inferior functions and they’re getting all that heroic energy from the hero functions and the inferior functions develop pretty really freaking well and they’re able to even do even further. And the INFP feels super smart being around the ISTP and the ISTP feels way more human being around the INFP because the INFP’s Fi hero, because a person’s humanity or feeling human is attached to the Fi function AKA morals or moral awareness or morality, et cetera. Definitely really good for ISTPs. And INFPs can watch out for ISTPs because ISTPs can they manipulated easily by other people because they Ne tricks in that, where are the intentions of others, but INFPs can always provide that oracle of warning to the ISTP. Hey, you’re gonna get screwed, don’t do that. You’re not gonna wanna do that. And then the ISTP is like, okay, yeah, I won’t do that, because that Ne parent is able to parent the Ni child of the ISTP and it is absolutely fantastic. Not only that, the INFP can develop the ISTP’s ENFJ subconscious which can cause the ISTP to become a great teacher which is also really awesome. And the ISTP can help the subconscious of the INFP and cause their personal philosophy to actually come out in a very academic way through their ESTJ overseer.
Awesome, Awesome. So, awesome. So based on that, that concludes our episode here on what types are socially compatible with INFPs. If you found this lecture useful, helpful, educational, enlightening, insightful, please subscribe to the channel here on YouTube and leave a comment below about IFPs so that I could answer your questions or at least read your comments on social compatibility and IFPs. Please like this video as well, while you’re at it this lecture. And if you haven’t subscribed to us on the podcast, please do that as well. Also, if you have yet to join the Discord Server, the link is below in the description. We are very active on the Discord Server and I do two Q&A section, two live Q&A sessions a month on the Discord. Although sometimes it might be once a month depending on what the schedule is, but who knows until we get to it, right? So please go and join the Discord Server. It is free and join the discussion and it is fantastic. If you have any questions for me that you would like to answer, please drop it into the questions for CS Joseph channel and we will use that for live streams that we do when we do it. And also we have immediate group for those of you in the bay area, click the link in the description. Go to the meetup group, sign up and we already have our first event posted. It’s going to be Wednesday, August 8th in the bay. So if you wanna make it there to that event, please sign up now, there’s only 14 spots available for that particular event. And I think we’re definitely going to have an event either once a week or once every two weeks. So it just depends on how many organizers we can get. And if you go to the group, you’re interested in being an organizer and let me know and we’ll definitely get that figured out. So awesome. I got many more of these to do, so like a lot. So with all that being said, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Have a good night.
