Season 12, Episode 14 Transcript
Chase: 00:01 Hey guys, it’s C.S. Joseph with csjoseph.life doing another episode on social compatibility for the 16 types according to Jungian analytical psychology. I believe this is season 12 episode 14 I think. I think so. Who knows? We’ll find out when it’s actually posted because that information is accurate, and what I say in the lecture may not necessarily be accurate. Sorry to those on the podcast, but kind of not sorry because I’m very overwhelmed. I got a lot of work news, so plenty more lectures to get going. So focusing more on content than necessarily organization or conventions. Gosh, I love reciting sixth grade English class. It is awesome. Not really. It sucked. Anyway, so ISFJs. ISFJs are known as the defender. They are behind-the-scenes past focused, duty based, protectors, traditionalist. They are very… They do what they should. They are everything against what they want.
Chase: 01:08 They don’t really have desire, or willpower per se. They’re not ‘want[y]’ like introverted intuition users. They’re introverted sensing so they are very dutiful. They do what they should. That’s why we have extraverted sensors around, and they’re like, “Hey, you should do this,” nd that’s what Se does to Si. It’s like, “You should do this”, and then Si is like, “Well, I should do this,” and then all of a sudden they’re friends, right? So anyway. So yeah, we’re back to social compatibility. We only have four episodes left, including this one. So I’m looking very forward to having this series finished. This season finished because it is a lot of work, and I would like to get, you know, more on track with some of the funner subjects, but it’s important that we get a foundation down for all types just so that we kind of understand how the cognitive functions mesh together.
Chase: 01:59 Remember, this is a lecture on social compatibility, and social compatibility is a lot different than what most people are used to. A lot of people are used to the compatibility as claimed by socionics which I completely disagree with it. Duality. They claim duality is the… which would basically be the ego dating the subconscious is the best for romantic relationships. I’m 100 percent against that. I think that is a very bad idea to pair up polar opposites together like that. I prefer the complimentary approach to compatibility, and through testing, and in the field and with people that I’ve coached, we’ve come to realize that that is actually, like, how it really is, you know, being complimentary; and that’s what social compatibility is because it’s based on cognitive functions as little mini puzzle pieces fitting together perfectly, or you know, perfectly depending on certain areas or not so perfect fitting on others.
Chase: 02:54 It just really depends on how the Pac-Man Te is trying to eat that conflict Ti, for example; or Fe to Fi; or Ne to Ni; or… you get the picture. Extraverted functions consume, or tune into, the introverted functions. Introverted functions are providing the source of the data available for all of human cognition, right, and the extraverted function’s job is to consume them or absorb them basically, and that is the basis of the relationship primary and secondary, Yin versus the Yang basically where the Yang would be rigid or inflexible and the Yin would be the flexible, the pliable, etc. So just be aware of that. Within our minds, we have that constant struggle of the positive and negative energy, that primary and secondary energy the Yin and the Yang with every single dimension of cognition. It’s like this huge cube except this cube is actually a Yin and Yang, a multidimensional Yin and Yang Rubik’s cube thing.
Chase: 04:00 Really complicated, but it’s really awesome just to see how deep our cognition goes, and there’s even more dimensions, and more levels that we have yet to discover; and we are, you know, continuing to discover new feats, and one of these things as social compatibility. So, but before I get to you, I want to talk about the disclaimer that I always give at the beginning of these lectures, and that is cognitive redundancy. Cognitive redundancy is basically evolution’s ability to keep human beings, you know, in relationship and actually able to have relationships, or friendships, together; or be together in some capacity, and for some reason your cognitive functions are actually not compatible. Just because your cognitive function is not compatible does not mean you will not have relationships with people. This is actually necessary for families to form, or working relationships to form, also known as shoulder to shoulder relationships, to form. So nature has a way of correcting the issue of compatibility because, like, for example, if you aren’t naturally compatible nature wise with your parents, for example, they would, like, reject you.
Chase: 05:02 So nature created, or added, this thing called cognitive redundancy so that even if you are low compatibility with your parents you could still potentially have high camaraderie, and camaraderie is not the same as [as] compatibility. Camaraderie is not really based on cognitive functions, you know. It’s like two positives, or two negatives, instead of a positive and negative, right? It’s different. It’s a shoulder to shoulder relationship, and camaraderie could be, like, multiple STPs, multiple NFJs, multiple SFJs, multiple ISJs, for example, coming together, or people who have the same interaction style, the same temperament, coming together and uniting for a common goal, or purpose, of mutual gain, right? Camaraderie can accomplish that same goal, mutual gain, in the same way compatibility can. So anyway, what is social compatibility? Social compatibility is cognitive functions coming together like puzzle pieces, finding the sources, you know, consuming the source of having a relationship, a Yin Yang relationship together, for the sake of a friendship. Social compatibility is face-to-face relationships: multiply it by shoulder to shoulder relationships brought together over a weighted average, and we have social compatibility which represents friendship.
Chase: 06:20 This is not necessarily representational of romantic relationships. However, be that as it may the top two highest romantic relationships available to the types in terms of social compatibility happens to be the same as social compatibility. So just be aware of that caveat, but we’ll actually dive into romantic relationships and romantic compatibility in the future. We have similar algorithms for romantic compatibility, also also known as intimate compatibility, sexual compatibility, while simultaneously we also have algorithms for working compatibility as well, professional compatibility, et cetera. So we’ll definitely dive into those at a later date, but let’s just get through social compatibility because we’re almost done with this lecture series. So anyway with that, those listening to us on the podcast I will start naming off the compatible types in order, and that way [that] they’re not, like, left out because all of a sudden there’s a white board here. So let’s just make sure that they are able to hear everything.
Chase: 07:19 So starting from top to the bottom: ISFJs prefer SPs that NJs, then SJs then NPs for their compatibility. Drilling down a little bit. We have SFPs at the top, NTJ second, STPs third, NFJs fourth, NFPs fifth, STJs sixth, NTPs seventh, SFJs eighth; and now all 16 times in order of functional compatibility, social compatibility, for friendships with the ISFJ, and it is as follows: ESFP first, ISFP second, ENTJ third, then INTJ, ESTP, ISTP, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP, ESTJ, ISTJ, ENTP, INTP, ESFJ, and also ISFJs themselves – because who really wants to be friends with, like, the clone of themselves? Yeah. That’s not gonna work. I don’t recommend it. So anyway {I’m doing it backwards} because these are introverted videos we’re starting with the lowest compatibility and working our way up to the highest compatibility according to social compatibility so let’s do it that way.
Chase: 08:40 So two, ISFJs. What does this relationship look like? These two ISFJs are friends, and it’s like – wow, why would you do that to yourself? This is called an identity relationship according to socionics, and not exactly something I recommend; and actually, I don’t recommend it. In fact, I would recommend that you run for the hills. I mean with, like, a torch and a pitchfork. Seriously. Go away. This is not recommended because these two people start competing with each other like, “Oh, I have more faith than you do,” or, “I’m more Godly [than you] than you are,” or, you know… and then they’ll potentially be calling each other sinners or, you know, insert whatever belief system they subscribe to and whatnot; or they’ll accuse each other… not having a proper sense of justice, and they’ll constantly be trying to get revenge on each other by pulling out their daggers and backstabbing each other in the back potentially because they’re [this]. They see the other person as a source of walking injustice because the one ISFJ [believe] their justice is more just than the other ISFJ.
Chase: 09:41 It just becomes a competition of justice, right, and it’s like, “Holy smokes!” Then all of a sudden the buildings start crashing down, forests are lit on fire, and everything is laid to waste by their ESFP shadows because it’s like, “Holy crap, can you guys just agree that, you know, this thing may not be unjust as you think it is?” “No, we can’t agree on anything. Their justice is worse than mine.” So anyway, not something I recommend; and it’s obvious why because you have this ISFJ worried that this other ISFJ is not going to be loyal to them, for example, or worried that they’re going to give this person a bad experience; or worried that this person has no sense of fashion which is really odd because ISFJs can be really fashionable once their introverted sensing hero has been trained on how to be fashionable.
Chase: 10:26 Of course they’re also able to remember all the times in their life that they haven’t been fashionable, and then they just naturally train themselves to do the opposite, right; and that’s kind of how ISFJs manifest being fashionable. So… but in this case it’s all about, you know, competition; or this ISFJ here is like, you know:
ISFJ 1: 10:44 “[Why are] why are you always feeling so worthless all the time? Why don’t you feel good about yourself?”
ISFJ 2: 10:48 “How about you? Why don’t you tell me how, why you don’t feel good about yourself? Why are you never aware of what I’m thinking?”
ISFJ 1: 10:53 “Why are you never aware of what I’m thinking?”
ISFJ 2: 10:55 “Why can I never motivate you to do anything?”
ISFJ 1: 10:57 “Because it’s what I do what I should, and shouldn’t you be motivated to do anything?”
Chase: 11:00 This doesn’t work. The reason is [is] because your ego, whatever it is, you often judge people by your own standard – the standard of your subconscious, right? The standard of your shadow, right? The standard of your super ego, right? Or the standard, you know, like, or the standard of their immediately highest compatible types, for example, kind of in that order. So people’s judgments are actually very skewed like that. So, for example, I’m in a relationship with an ENFJ right now, and oftentimes because ENFJs are built to be with NFPs she’ll start judging me and treating me as if I’m an NFP; and it’s like her mind is preprogrammed to interact with an NFP and she’s looking for moral behavior in me, but I don’t have moral behavior because I have Fi trickster; and instead I ethical behavior, but she’s trying to do the ethical one in the relationship right because she has Fe hero.
Chase: 11:57 So it ends up creating potential conflict, right? Just because she’s subconsciously expecting that I am an NFP who she would be somewhat built for in a relationship in an intimate or romantic relationship, right? This is [interesting] you got to pay attention to that concept really quickly. People judge others, right? They judge others by their own standard which is 100 percent against everything I talk about on this channel – because what I talk about on this channel is: you need to learn how to type people without a test. I mean I come into contact with people – I know within 30 seconds their type. {snaps} Just like that. Like, even if I’ve never met them before, right? Because I’ve used the interaction styles, multiply it by the temperaments, and I just {snaps} know like that. Well, here’s the thing. You have to get to the point where you can type other people and then judge them by their type – by who they are supposed to be. Not by your type, or, you know, what you’re used to, or what your type prefers to be with.
Chase: 12:57 You can’t do that to people. That’s ignorant of you, and that’s also really wrong. Don’t do that to people. It’s disrespectful,, and it’s wrong and it’s just going to contribute to the horrors of this world, and increase fatherlessness. Why would you do that? Relationships and families break apart just because of that. Wars have started on this planet just because of personality differences because people are judging others by their own standard. How many foolish kings have sat on thrones on this planet and have done that? Tons. I’d probably wager all of them. Let’s be honest. So being aware of this phenomenon, so with ISFJ-ESFJ It’s very similar. The ESFJ is trying so hard to make the ISFJ feel good about themselves – with the ISFJ so critical about how good themselves – because the ESFJ never feels satisfied. Never is satisfied, and because of that they start worrying that they’re a bad person because they can’t make the ISFJ feel good, and it just turns into a mess, and the relationship just starts breaking. Why would anyone subject themselves to this?
Chase: 14:03 Or this ISFJ is always afraid of what the ESFJ wants, but the ESFJ doesn’t ever know what they want so that just makes the ISFJ even more scared, and then the fear just slowly [slowly] breaks up this relationship between the SFJs if they’re, like, trying to be friends. {laughs} It’s often also interesting that in this relationship these two types, you know, like, especially if they’re, like, women, and they’re, like… They would naturally compete for the same man and it would just destroy their relationship entirely, and it would be as if they were never friends before. We got super high camaraderie, but the incompatibility because they’re both SFJs trying to prove to the other person, “Hey, I’m a better SFJ than you,” when there’s, like, potentially a mutual goal in front of them, right, and it’s natural for people to be selfish. It just creates competition and the friendship is destroyed, and it’s easily destroyed. It’s easily lit on fire; and then as a result it’s just completely over. It’s completely done.
Chase: 14:55 So, again, this is not something I recommend, you know. The ESFJ is very critical towards the ISFJ. “You’re not loyal enough!”, for example, or, “You never know what you want,” and that just enrages the ISFJ. It’s like, “I don’t care what I want. You [should] do what I should do. “Well, what you should do is this,” you know, and the ESFJ is being so critical of it. This relationship is my mother and her mother, and it is so, so interesting. My mother, to get back at my grandmother, for example, will start doing the dishes just to get back at her because it’s taking away the ESFJ’s opportunity to contribute to the household. Which then makes her depressed. It makes her sad and then you know, my mother’s like, well, justice is served because you know, ISFJ focus on justice for example. You know, this can be a serious problem. I don’t recommend this friendship, I just don’t. And it’s got super high camaraderie and they’re pretty good for shoulder to shoulder relationships, but anything face to face or friendship-y, I don’t recommend it. I would avoid that. No. If you’re an ISFJ, I don’t think so.
Chase: 15:56 Over here we have ISFJ and INTP. Very interesting relationship, the functions have to travel a longer distance. Now, of course, obviously I’ve always talked on shortest distances between two points in a straight line for the cognitive functions. You have Ti, hero being consumed by Te trickster. Obviously the distance is a little bit shorter of these types down here, but because these types are so similar, it actually creates even more conflict than these types would, even though these types are technically like the polar opposite of an SFJ because they’re NTPs. These can actually cause even more strife and confusion and problems than these can. So shortest distance between two points of a straight line, notice how these functions are constantly competing with each other and it’s like you’re trying to tune into these different channels on the radio and there’s a lot of interference and able to get one of the going crossing lines all over the place. It’s just an absolute mess.
Chase: 16:52 The ISFJ interacting with the INTP, just like, well, you never know what you want your like the laziest. They’ll accuse the INTP of being the laziest person in the world for one, uh, they’ll, they’ll tell the INTP that they’re a bad person, that they are uncaring as usually the number one criticism of Fe parent to the INTP. You are not caring enough. You are not a good person. You are the most soulless immoral husk of a human being. I’ve ever met, is a usual criticism of ISFJs towards INTPs, right? So why would they want to be friends? See what I’m saying? There’s not really much social compatibility going on there. I don’t recommend it. You know, it gets even more complicated. Like the ISFJ is worried that the INTP is going end up cheating on them, for example, because you’re not loyal to me or I’m afraid that you’re going to be, you know, you’re going to abandon me for other people no longer be my friend. it’s just like this very, you know a passive aggressive, semi abusive relationship. It’s just not something I would recommend at all. Please don’t do it. You know,
Chase: 18:02 ISFJ and ENTP this is an interesting relationship. This is my relationship with my mother for example. Right. And, uh, you know, she, she worries that I am lacking in faith. You know, especially from a church standpoint. She worries that, you know, I’m not a, I’m not churchy enough or I’m not religious enough or I’m not, you know, exercising that the belief system that I grew up with in the proper way. I’m not putting enough God in my, in my lectures or, or anything that I do with my time, for example. And that Se nemesis, is constantly hitting my Si Inferior, and of course my Si inferior is where my insecurity is and it has the potential to create hatred and a painful resentment and bitterness inside my soul as a result of that. And then at the same time she’s afraid of what I want to do. So whenever I’m in a social situation, she’s afraid that I’m going to say something, say the wrong thing at all times. And that’s a mess too, right?
Chase: 18:59 You know, or you know, she’s got Ti child constantly trying to explain things to me that I already know because I have Ti parents. But you know, Te trickster is completely unaware of what I know already. Right, In the same way that a Te trickster for ISFJ is completely unaware of what Ti hero of the INTP is saying, and the INTP being logical to the ISFJ is met with, “oh, you’re just not caring person”. You know, because the ISFJ is like, “Well, you should be willing to soften the blow when you’re telling the truth to people”. Whereas ENTP is like, “Yeah, no, I’m not going to do that, people need to like burn”, you know, because through burning know, being burned by truth only, you know, causes growth and cleansing, you know, maybe we should do that. But the ISFJ, as Fe parent, and Fe parents is like, “Well that’s not socially acceptable, you can’t do that Mr ENTP, you can’t do that at all.” Right.
Chase: 19:47 And it’s just like, “come on, actually, I can”, you know, and you know, of course my Ne hero is trying to figure out, you know, trying to motivate the ISFJ to do the right thing, you know. “What do you want to do? Why do you not want to do that?”, and of course that just pisses off the Ni demon even more, you know, and that, that’s ‘really good’. That’s just not going to work, you know; and of course my extraverted feeling child is trying to make the ISFJ feel better, but that’s really hard because Fi critic walks around believing that it’s a bad person to begin with anyway, and because of that it’s very critical towards their own self-worth. They [always never] they never feel good enough, and they’re choosing to never feel good enough so that makes my Fe child guilty, and sad, that I can’t make the ISFJ feel any better.
Chase: 20:27 So it’s like, “okay, well why bother?”, and then the ENTP ends up getting ‘why bother?’ ayndrome because that’s what NTPs do. They get ‘why bother?’ syndrome, and then they just withdraw, and they just give up because it’s like, “I put in all this effort, but I’m getting nothing for it.” This is a curse, not a blessing, because a blessing is [is] when you put something into something and you get more back, you know, from your return. A curse is when you put something into something and you get less back. That’s how that works, right, and this is a cursed relationship. I do not recommend it. Really good camaraderie, no compatibility whatsoever. I don’t recommend it at all. [Look at] look at all this traffic jam in the cognitive functions trying to interface here. [They’re just] It’s just absolute chaos. Do not do this. I do not recommend this relationship at all.
Chase: 21:12 So now let’s talk about the top four most compatible relationships for the ISFJ. Remember when we we’re doing these lectures we’re doing the bottom four least compatibility, and then the top four highest compatibility; and remember the top four compatibility on this spectrum of the 16 types here in order of social compatibility represents the deep, meaningful, friendships, for example, and the bottom four represent the more shallow at a distance, from a distance, shoulder-length relationship. Acquaintanc[y] type of friendship would be, you know, [more] more on the bottom end, and then obviously the middle is kind of neutral. So again, for the sake of this lecture, because I could be, like, talking for a long time, going through every single one of them, which I’m not going to do. We’ll just do the top four here, and we’ll actually start with the highest.
Chase: 22:02 Just give it a good… a good explanation. ISFJs and ESFPs. ESFPs are awesome. ESFPs, are known as the entertainer, and they live in the moment, and they’re constantly committed to giving a good experience to the ISFJ at all times. Thats what they’re there for. They’re there to give everyone a great experience, and the ISFJ is all like “Thank God you’re doing a great experience,” so no contest, right? And then the ESFP is a very moral individual. They’re very moral minded. They are all about their beliefs. Their beliefs are everything to them. How they feel about the truth means more to them instead of what the truth actually is, right? So then the ISFJ gets to tell the ESFP the truth, and the ESFP listens to Te child. The Te child loves to hear the Ti child truth. There’s no conflict there, and the Fe parent loves the Fi parent’s morality so there’s no conflict there.
Chase: 22:54 So they’re already jiving straight up. No issue. The ESFP is kind of insecure for what they want, and the ISFJ is afraid of what the ESFP wants so then it’s able to provide, you know, options to the ESFP so the ESFP doesn’t make decisions that causes the ISFJ to feel insecure or scared, right? And that’s, like, crazy, but… No, it’s not. That’s how they work normally, and then ESFP no longer feels afraid because, “Oh, awesome. You’ve just given me all these amazing options,, and now I can actually execute my life instead of going to college and go to several different schools because I changed my major five times and I have no idea what I’m doing, right? And then I feel bad because I’m just [aimless] going through life.” Thank God for those ISFJs showing up for those ESFPs because ESFPs are no longer aimless, and they can actually start developing their subconscious and become these amazing intellectual strategists, these ESFPs, believe it or not.
Chase: 23:43 All because of the ISFJ’s ENTP subconscious influence, right? ISFJs are the best thing that’s ever happened to ESFPs, and vice versa, because how moral ESFP behaves causes the ISFJ to stop alienating people with their super uber high moral standard with their Fi critic. Wow! I mean, because, let’s be honest, when the ISFJ is trying to, like, tell them their belief system, and show their belief system with the ESFP, the ESFP is going to be like, “Okay, yeah. Sure, I’ll adopt it, but we have to do it in a moral way. We have to do it in a principled way,” because ESFPs are all about principles, right? Principles of Fi parent, super mega important, and those principles will not be as corrupted as potentially the principles of Te trickster and Fi crItic, right? Because those have the chance of being corrupted so it helps keep the ISFJ grounded so that they are not going too far with alienating others because they’re always at the risk of alienating the ESFP.
Chase: 24:42 But the ESFPs going to put up their boundaries, and they’ll be like, “Hey, stop alienating me.” “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize… and I feel guilty now because I have just alienated you. I’m sorry,” and then Si hero remembers that situation, and then Si hero will not repeat that in the future, and it makes the ISFJ better person so that they do not actually end up being alone in life. They are actually invited to things. Why? Because their ESFP friend has [helped] keep them on track socially, from a moral standpoint, because the ISFJ, like a feelings vampire, is sucking that morality out of the ESFP, and taking it inside of themselves, and Fi parent is turning it into ethical behavior, right? It’s in the super amazing relationship, and they really make each other better people; and I’m so glad when they find these friends that they can have, and go out, and, you know, whatever it is they do so that they create the dynamic duo, and they’re able to make things happen.
Chase: 25:38 I mean Batman is an ISFJ, right? I mean is Dick Grayson, an ESFP? Maybe? Anyway, he probably isn’t. I mean, but, I mean, I thought why not? So ISFJs are very worried about, you know, the ESFPs, you know, potentially not being loyal, or not having a good experience, or, you know… and the ESFPs are already worried that they’re not. In that case the ESFP already appreciates the loyalty that they’re getting from the ISFJ so then they’re able to behave loyally, and then as a result there is no worrying there [and] and thus no conflict, right? We already talked about Fi critic, and then Fe credit is, like… ESFPs don’t like being guilted into things because it’s so strong with them because they take guilt so seriously because if they are actually guilted into things their Fi parent will start to feel bad, and they’ll feel bad about themselves, and then they’ll be motivated for change, right?
Chase: 26:34 So Fi, critic has a very high super high moral standard that only, you know… that low Fe can actually follow, and they up collaborating with each other very well; and then it also causes the ISFJ to not feel so worthles,s or useless, or, like, a bad person, or not worthy enough at all times, and also actually help the ESFP feel even more worthy after the fact; and ISFJs are just not aware of what ESFPs are thinking. Well, good thing because ESFPs are not aware of what they’re thinking either, and then ISFJs do what they should. They do not do what they want. They want to avoid what they want. They don’t give a damn about what they want. Good thing the ESFP really give a damn about [the] ISFJs want[s] either because ESFP only has the mental capacity to focus on what they want themselves for themselves, not what the ISFJ wants. The ISFJ prefers it that way because the ISFJ is like:
ISFJ: 27:23 “Please just tell me what you want, and if you don’t want you want here’s a bunch of options for you. Please pick one. Tell me please so I know [that] what you want, and then I can have a boundary with which I could live my life by knowing that you are getting what you want. Thank God, and now I know what I should do.”
Chase: 27:38 That’s literally how their relationship works. Same thing, ISFJs and ISFPs. It’s literally an identical relationship to the ESFP, in what we just talked about. The difference is that there is built in humility in these functions. Why is that? Because you have Se parent interacting with Si hero or Fe parent interacting with Fi hero. Fi hero is even more moral than the Fi parent and then Fi parent than Fe parents like, “Wow, Fi I hero, you’re just so amazing. You’re so moral, but by the way, when you’re flying around, saving the world don’t hurt the children cause collateral damage.” Then the Fi hero is like, “Oh yeah, you’re right Fe parent I probably shouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t let my principles get in the way of destroying world.”
Chase: 28:28 So luckily they are able to talk to each other because they’re really close. There isn’t very much interference at all. Very little. There’s, like, no interference here, but remember, because there’s a relationship with no interference you have absolute highest compatibility. There is the potential for some amazing fireworks. An explosive, awesome friendship, awesome relationship, but the downs can also be just as explosive because these two types, ISFJ, ESFP, can read each other like a book, right? ISFJ and ISFP can also read each other like a book. They have that built in humility, not as high fireworks, but it seems like it sometimes, and… enough that I would definitely recommend this relationship, you know, especially in a romantic relationship. Both of these I would recommend that.
Chase: 29:08 But the difference is [is] that there is a lower chance of conflict, right, because it isn’t so much about competition, right? Because the ESFP and the ISFJ are actually super, super mega similar to each other because they have each other as shadows in their mind. Whereas in this case the ISFP actually contains four different types. They’re not already existing within the ISFJ’s side of mine so there’s a less risk of competition even though functionally that they are second highest compatibility. It makes for a really great relationship, and I highly recommend both of these, you know, for that point and purpose. Third highest we have the ISFJ and the ENTJ relationship, and this one is the number one most common form of marriage for ISFJs in the United States of America that I have seen and that I have observed.
Chase: 29:58 For some reason ISFJs and ENTJs get married a lot, and I mean a lot. I’ve seen it happen so many times. I’ve been to a lot of weddings in my life, and I’ve met a lot of married people in my life, and anytime there’s an ISFJ I can almost assume it’s going to be an ENTJ because for some reason that’s just what happens in the United States of America, or First World society, but that’s what they do. I think it’s because the ISFJ-ENTP subconscious is just absolutely completely in love with the ENTJ intellectual ego. It just thinks it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Conversely, the ENTJ’s ISFP subconscious loves the ISFJ ego because that ISFJ ego is able to consume the art that the ENTJ is able to produce; and then as a result of that parity between the subconscious and the ego they’re actually able to have an even better relationship than before. It is absolutely fantastic.
Chase: 30:58 So based on that, you know, the ENTJ knows what they want, and then the Ne inferior, although it’s scared about what the ENTJ wants, the Ni parents really responsible with what it does so it actually takes away the fear on the ISFJ, and then the ENTJ is afraid of whether or not they are a bad person, for example, but the Fe parent is very responsible with that ,and is always reminding the ENTJ, “Actually, you’re not a bad person,” and it actually helps develop and grow the inferior functions. Which grows their subconscious sides of their mind, which makes them into better people; and this is an absolutely fantastic relationship because they’re able to grow each other so well, and get them to aspirational, and get them away from their fears; and then it creates this amazing synergy where they’re able to just conquer all the obstacles, and the bad routes of their life, and actually have a great future together, and build something [for] for mutual benefit.
Chase: 31:50 Be it for friends, or romantic relationships. Whatever. I highly recommend this relationship for friendships as well inasmuch as I recommend ISFJ-ESFP, ISFJ-ISFP because this is fantastic, and they’re able to get… The functions are able to get everything they need. They don’t have to travel into the shadow. They can just reach within the ego. It gets really complicated when functions have to jump into the shadow in order to get what they need, but they’re able to find everything they need here in the ego. It is absolutely fantastic, and of course the child functions and the hero functions are able to team up as well. Which also gives a wild ride for the child riding on the back of the hero as the hero saves the world. It is an absolute highly recommended situation. Absolutely. Shadow wise, the ENTJ worries that they’re intelligent, but the ISFJ is completely unaware of that anyways. [It just] it really doesn’t really create conflict.
Chase: 32:44 The ENTJ doesn’t really remember anything, and the ISFJ is worried that the ENTJ won’t remember anything so the Si hero ends up reminding the ENTJ anyway. So the ENTJ never has to forget anything because the ISFJ is this walking totem that literally remembers everything for them, you know what I mean? So again, there’s no issue there whatsoever. Also the ISFJ is already critical towards their self-worth, but the ENTJ doesn’t really care about other people’s self-worth because they’re more focused on their self-worth, not other peoples’, and… Which is fine with the ISFJ because the ISFJ is like, “No, I got this. I’ll handle my own self-worth. Thank you very much,” you know what I mean? So there’s not really much of a problem here; and the ENTJ is very critical towards other people wanting things because it doesn’t like people being irresponsible with it, but the ISFJ is like “Well do what I should, I’m very duty based.”, because the ENTJ needs that loyalty that the ISFJ provides. That duty that they should basically.
Chase: 33:34 But the ISFJ demon is like, “Well I don’t care what I want anyway.” So again, no conflict. This is a really good relationship, and then we have the ISFJ-INTJ relationship. Which is super similar to the ISFJ-ENTJ relationship. Very similar. The difference is that instead of the inferiors and the parents interacting you have the inferiors interacting with the heroes, and then you have the children interacting with the parents. Still pretty compatible. Not as compatible as the previous three relationships, however it can work provided there’s extra maturity and extra communication happening so that the hero functions of these two types are not crushing the inferior functions and causing the inferior function to become even more afraid than they were before; and it just increases even more insecurity which leads to additional hatred, and bitterness, and resentment, which could break up the friendship indefinitely, and…
Chase: 34:27 Everything is just lit on fire. Why wouldn’t we want to do that, you know? So we’re not going to do that. How do you do that? By communicating consistently and having maturity consistently you could have this relationship because the hero can actually end up teaming up with the inferior because the inferior can be near the hero at that point, and, like… Try to become a hero in it’s own right, and it helps develop the inferior even further as long as they’re making sure to not increase the insecurity of each other as friends, or even closer. Then they will actually end up developing each others inferior so that they’re able to access their unconscious and have even more synergy than they had before. Which is absolutely fantastic and again, the functions are able to find everything they need in the top four functions for the ego, and also in the bottom four functions for the shadow. They don’t have to break the shadow barrier at all to get the cognition that they’re looking for.
Chase: 35:23 Everything is available in their minds, and they’re really good to go, and thus there is no problem, you know. Just remember there is a risk, and that risk is, you know, in the lack of communication, and the lack of maturity, this friendship would not be as sustainable as these other friendships, for example, right? So just make sure that you’re doing that. Fi child always needs to feel like they’re being a good person. Te parent needs to be able to correct Ti child for.. For example, Ti child needs be able to correct Te parent because it’s verifying beliefs. The INTJ also needs to make sure that they’re aware that they don’t… [they] commit social faux pas often, and the ISFJ is trying to train the INTJ to not commit social faux pas. While the INTJ is trying to train the ISFJ to be more fashionable, for example. There’s a lot of really, really good benefits, but again, it requires the communication and the maturity to be able to maintain this relationship long-term, be it for friends or closer, for example.
Chase: 36:23 So anyway, that concludes this episode on ‘What Types Are Socially Compatible With ISFJs.’ If you liked what you heard or saw please subscribe to the channel here on YouTube and on the podcast. [like] Please do both, and leave a like while you’re at it. If you have any questions about ISFJs and their compatibility please leave it in the comments section, and I will do my best to answer all of those comments. I believe I read almost every single comment on this channel. I spend at least one or two hours a day reading comments and responding to people consistently. So keep those comments flowing. I’ll definitely answer your questions.
Chase: 37:02 You can also go to csjoseph.life. If you need to learn how to type yourself you can download the type grid on the front page. Put it in your email. No, I’m not going to spam you. I’ll just send you secret lectures instead, and then also… if you don’t know how to use the type grid watch my playlist on how to type yourself and others so that you can figure that out. That’s important because people who take the test probably about half the time, or just maybe less than half the time. Maybe even more than half the time. Maybe 6 out of 10, 5 out of 10-ish – they’re mistyped. I mean, I first took the test, even though I’m an ENTP I scored INFJ first, and then I scored INTJ, you know what I mean? The test is not helpful.
Chase: 37:38 You have to use the temperaments multiplied by the interaction styles in order to 100 percent know your type, or know someone else’s type, with 100 percent accuracy, and you don’t have to rely on tests anymore; and then you don’t come on this channel, and you’re like, “Well, I don’t agree with what you said in your lecture,” and then I’m like, “Well, are you sure you’re the type that you believe you are? I mean, how did you verify that?” “Well, I verified it with a test,” and it’s like, “Yeah, but the tests are inaccurate so how can you base your beliefs that you’re this type on a test? How about you watch my ‘How to Type Yourself and Others’ playlists, and watch all 10 lectures, and use the type grid to type yourself, and then you know for sure if that’s really your type; and then you can watch those lectures associated with that, and then you can be like, “Aha, he’s actually right.”
Chase: 38:21 Now that’s awesome and useful. So I’d recommend that. So anyway, thank you all for listening to this lecture, and I got many more to do. So I’ll see you guys tonight.
