S9E5 – How Do ESFJs Compare To ISFJs?

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Chase: 00:04 Hey, it’s CS Joseph with CSJoseph.life doing another episode of the season where we are comparing the types. It is a user requested season, or playlist if you’re on the YouTube channel, which most of you are, for… and also the podcast. So we’re going to be continuing to move forward with that, and today we’re going to be comparing the ESFJ to the ISFJ. I would like to state I realized that the audience wants more INFJ content, but I’ve technically already done the INFJ lecture on this series. So if you haven’t seen it yet I recommend you go check it out because it was a user request much, much earlier. So I released it, right, and also I realized I haven’t released any videos in 72 hours. Just, well, I mean that’s because my children were visiting, and when that happens my dining room studio is completely destroyed and converted because I live in such a small place.

Chase: 01:03 It’s not very much room, and it’s also difficult to film when I’m standing in, you know, food on the floor, a dirty table, Nintendo is not able to hold my camera up. It’s just a lot of drama. So, with that all being said let’s dive into the ESFJ plus, or versus, the ISFJ. So both types are SJ types. They’re in the same SJ temperament: past focused, duty based, protectors, traditionalists. One is informed initiating movement; that is the ESFJ. The other one is informative responding control; that is the ISFJ. Movement versus control. So ESFJs fly by the seat of their pants. They’re very quick. Some people may consider them to be impatient, or others may consider ISFJs to be too patient. In fact, ISFJs are the most patient of all of the types, and because of how patient they are they literally can [through]… they can suffer basically anything and endure anything.

Chase: 02:11 Their endurance factor is insanely high. That’s not to say ESFJs are not capable of endurance which they do have a very high endurance, but no one beats the ISFJ in terms of endurance. They can just outlast basically anything. Even more than an INTP or an INFP going full on apathy mode with their Si child. ISFJ could definitely beat that pretty good. So, [want], they’re both informative, and in fact I believe the ISFJ is triple informative which means their ego, their subconscious, and the shadow are all informative at the same time. Which means there’s no such thing as directness coming out of them whatsoever, and that also includes the ESFJ, the other triple direct type. So they are both triple direct which means you can never get a straight answer out of them.

Chase: 03:08 They’re always [going], what they’re going to say… All of it always has to be decrypted because it will be cryptic. There’s always added subtext, or context, or context changes. The same thing… they say the same thing twice, but under a different context it has a different meaning. So you have to be aware of that context, or that subtext, and know how to decrypt them in order to communicate with them, and that can be an issue. ISFJs are responding which means they prefer you to come to them instead of them initiating with you whereas the ESFJ is actually going to be initiating with people. That’s really the difference between introversion versus extroversion. If you’re trying to figure out if you are an ISFJ or an ESFJ make sure you’re paying attention to whether or not you initiate with people, or whether or not you respond to people more often.

Chase: 03:52 Remember if you’re responding, you prefer people to come to you and keep you informed instead of you going to somebody else and informing somebody else, or extracting the information that you need out of somebody in order to get something done, right? It is completely different. So, that is the ESFJ and the ISFJ interaction styles, and we just talked about they’re temporary. So let’s dive into the cognitive functions. Alright, so ESFJ. The ESFJ Ego, we have Fe hero in ethics. They are so ethical. In fact they just know how everyone feels. They walk in a room and they instantly know how everyone feels to the point where they are just so caring, and they’re so supportive of every human being they come into contact with to the risk of being a doormat. Yay. Yes, ESFJ is the biggest doormat of all of the types. Easily taken advantage of by almost anyone.

Chase: 04:49 Unless of course they remember what their Si parent [says], that you screwed them in the past; and in which case they’ll remember that you screwed them, and then, you know. Like, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you. That is so the way of the ESFJ. “Oh, but wait the ISFJ….” see, they’re so insecure about your intentions to begin with, and generally afraid until you’ve, like, proven yourself with giving them a good experience with their Si hero, that they’re kind of just usually going to assume that until proven otherwise. Guilty until proven innocent is the way of the ISFJ. ESFJs don’t do that, but the ISFJ guilty until proven innocent thing basically means like until you prove yourself they’re already going to assume that your intentions, like, by default they’re pessimistic towards your intentions, whereas the ESFJ is optimistic towards intentions. Why is that? Ne child. Remember, heroes and children type or functions are optimistic.

Chase: 05:47 Whereas the parents and the inferior are pessimistic, right? So what does that mean? That means that, “Oh, I would be so supportive of you, and I’m a doormat, but, you know, that’s all I want. If you take advantage of me then I’m going to remember.” See, the ESFJ is willing to allow you to take advantage of them whereas the ISFJ is not going to be willing to allow you to take advantage of them; and then if you end up taking advantage, succeeding and taking advantage of the ISFJ, they really hate you then, and then they will stop at nothing to bring you to justice whereas the ESFJ not so much. Yes, both types hold a grudge, but nothing like an ISFJ. The ISFJ will take that to the bank, and they will lord it over you for 30, 40, 50 years.

Chase: 06:32 “I remember that one time you cheated on me, and then that’s justifying my behavior now, 50 years later.” Wow, that’s appropriate. Thanks ISFJs for, like, remembering everything. You know, there’s this one passage… an old saying that says, you know, never, I think it was called, like, the love chapter. It would say ‘don’t keep a record of wrongs,’ but ISFJs keep records of wrongs more than any other human being you’d ever come into contact with. That’s just fantastic. Oh, but don’t worry, ESFJs do too. Just not as much as ISFJs. ISFJs, they’re all about fairness and justice so we have to keep score at literally every little thing you do, positive or negative. “Oh, but because my Fe parent is, you know, pessimistic, I’m usually good to just remember the bad things that you’ve done instead of remembering the good things that you’ve done for me,” and it holds you accountable for it later. Wow. That’s really appropriate.

Chase: 07:23 Such great, nurturing, socially available, amazing, caring people, you ISFJs. So endearing as you stick me in a guillotine and chop my head off because justice is served. Oh, and you do it. Especially since, like, you know, I’m your family member. Direct family. Hey, maybe I’m even your son. Doesn’t matter, you’re still willing to sell me down river if I just did some random injustice because the justice is more important to me than my own children. Amazing! Guys, stop doing that. Seriously. You have to understand, ISFJs, that justice is not any more important than your relationships; and, you know, it’s funny because INFJs kind of understand that more than you do, but INFJs… They also have Fe parent but they have Se inferior so they’re still at least willing to give people a good experience even if they feel like that that person’s a total dick, or a waste, or someone they don’t want to be around, but at least they’re willing to give people a chance.

Chase: 08:25 ISFJs, this whole, like, “I’m just going to hold onto this one thing, and hold it against you for everything.” Like, let go. Like seriously, let go, and yes, I understand INFJs do that too, but at least they’re more open minded about it. ISFJs are very closed minded about that. I mean, they’re literally the people that are the first ones to stick their head in the sand because, “Ooh, that’s scary,” so head goes in the sand. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry,” you know; and it’s like, “Come on, stop being like an ostrich. That’s not how it works.” You know what I mean? Anyway, ESFJs can kind of do the same thing too. These types… these types are very, very interesting. Like, so the Ti child, or the ISFJ for example, they’re not really… They’re all about what they think, right? Whereas, and they do it like an innocent little child. So their logic is very pure. It’s very pure, and they, to be honest, they can be really brilliant with their Ti child. So brilliant [brilliant] that they can access their ENTP subconscious which is an intellectual, right, and an ENTP subconscious further adds to their brilliance. Now, yes, [IS] ESFJs have INTP which they can also be really freaking brilliant. I mean I knew this one ESFJ physicist one time, and I was like, “How? How are you even possible? Why do you exist?” Well, It’s because there was another ESFJ in this woman’s family, and they were constantly trying to out ESFJ each other so she never got to have the opportunity to do that, but her father was an ENTJ and really wanted her to be, like, you know, INTP-ish. So it just kind of went into this thing that worked. There’s literally compatibility there.

Chase: 10:09 So she really hyper developed her INTP subconscious and became super brilliant physicist woman, nd it’s like, “Wow, I didn’t even know that was a thing,” and her Ti inferior is actually very well developed for herself even though she had to suffer through an insanely painful childhood to get it. So just to kind of show you how things go. “Oh, but she’s also the most nicest lady and most supportive lady you ever met to the point where she’ll even, like, you know, offer to do your dishes after you have her over to dinner because that’s her contribution.” Never take away an ESFJ‘s opportunity at making a contribution to you because if you do, they’ll hate you for it, and they’ll resent you for it, and they’ll be bitter for it in the same way that ISFJs are. Except ISFJs are technically more bitter, but ISFJs are actually willing to allow you to do the dishes for them because they’re not always, like, willing to do it all the time.

Chase: 10:56 They’ll do it because that’s what they should do, but having a respite to them means a lot more than to an ESFJ. So, back to the functions, because we’re like jumping around all over the place, but that’s okay. SFJs, being that ISFJ is my subconscious, I love talking about them and all the positive and negative ways I possibly can. So, anyway, Fe hero: all about how other people feel. They walk in the room, they know how everyone feels, they’re very ethical. Social norms are everything to them. Si parent makes them, you know, very justice oriented, very dutiful, and to the point where ESFJs are forcing other people to go on family outings, family traditions, family gatherings. Especially when those families [doesn’t] even like each other. They’re going to force everyone to participate because, “Oh, we’re a family and the tradition in the family is the most important thing to me; and even if I’m an ESFJ, man, I’m still gonna force you to go to this Thanksgiving dinner that you hate eating every single year; but I’m going to make you do it anyway because that’s the family.” Wow. Yeah, no thank you. I mean, I’m an ENTP, like, why would I want to do that? I mean, some of you are watching this might, but I mean, [I don’t] I don’t, I’m not going to do that. Sorry. No, thank you.

Chase: 12:10 So, Si hero, very similar to Si parents except it’s very optimistic. ISFJs really know what they want to taste. They [they] like to experience new things. They can experience anything. They can endure anything with their Si hero which is fantastic that they do that, right? I think it’s pretty dope that they do that. ESFJs, they’re… They’re not really the one to… because they’re more pessimistic with their extraverted sensing they’re not willing to take as many risks as the ISFJ is. It’s kind of weird though. The ISFJ is more close-minded yet they’re willing to take more risks. How does that all work? It just does. Si hero just wants to experience more. It wants to experience everything. It’s usually not satisfied until it’s experienced everything. Unless of course it’s succumbed to… and bowing before organized religion, then it will continue to have its close-mindedness because only their religion could possibly be true, Ti child, because all the other religions aren’t true; and then I’m going to enforce that religion on my family, and my friends, and my children until the day they die. To the point of telling them they’re horrible human beings if they do not continue to follow the organized religion that I chose for them. Yay.

Chase: 13:14 No. Stop. No, [that’s not] that’s not true. ISFJs are like the enforcer, right? They enforce everything. They enforce the rules. “This is our family tradition. This is our family standard. I’m going to enforce it.” They’re all about force. Why? It’s because in order to motivate an ISFJ to do anything you have to force them. The only thing they understand is force. It’s not about what you want. I mean, to them they’re not even going to let you want anything because they’re afraid of what you want. “So instead I’m just going to force you because I’m used to being forced by everybody.” It’s all about force. ESFJs, not so much. They’re actually motivated more so about giving to others and giving other people what they want. Whereas the ISFJ, they’re more, like, afraid of that, or more….

Chase: 13:56 It just kind of like, eh, pessimistic towards that. So they have to be forced more. Yeah, they can be super caring, but it’s because they’re forced into being caring at times versus the ESFJ who is like, “Oh, I’m just going to be giving. You don’t have to force me into it,” you know. It, it’s really weird how they, how they, how they differ in that way as SFJs, you know what I mean? It’s really weird. So both of them have super long term memory because, you know, the past and as a parent and then heroes, Si hero remembers even more than Si parent. Just remember that because these two are high introverted sensing, you know, if they had a choice between Alzheimer’s and dementia these two types would develop dementia in their latter years, and also because they’re SFJs they’re also the two types that have the highest life expectancy of all the types. These people live forever.

Chase: 14:46 These are the people living past 100. They’re SFJs, all of them. It’s really weird how that works, but, I mean, they can endure anything. They had that huge Si parent hero endurance so they can just keep going, and going, and going, like the Energizer Rabbit, and to this day I have no idea why a rabbit is their mascot. I wish they’d figure that out, you know, make it like a space shuttle or something. I don’t know. Not, not a rabbit. Come on. So, Ne child, “Oh, I want to give you balloons and candy. Oh, I just want to give you what you want,” and then because, you know, the ESFJ, they go to the used car lot and they’re… they just want to make the salesperson happy, right? They’re going to make the salesperson happy, and give the salesperson what they want, and make the salesperson feel good. Yeah, never let the ESFJ go to a used car lot by themselves, ever, because they’re going to get taken for a ride, literally, and not literally at the same time. Watch out for that. ESFJs, you got to be super careful because that Fe hero and that Ne child, “Oh man, I’m the ultimate doormat, and I’m going to be taken advantage of by everyone,” you know. So be careful with that, and their Ti Inferior. Always give it its day in court, right?

Chase: 16:00 Now, the ISFJ, the Ti Child, it doesn’t care that much if you don’t really listen to it. It will want to be listened to, but the thing is [is] that if you’re not listening to it the ISFJ will get in your face, and pin you to the wall, and force you to listen to it. So they don’t really care if they’re not listened to because, one way or another, you’re going to listen to them, and they’re going to force it upon you. The ESFJ is not really going to force you to listen to them, but they still need their day in court; and if you do not give the ESFJ a day in court of your own freewill, why? Because Ne child needs you to want to listen to them first. Whereas Ti child is, “You’re going to listen to me whether you like to, or whether you want to or not,” but the ESFJ is still going to give you the opportunity to choose whether or not you want to listen to them; and I recommend that you want to listen to them because if you do not they will hate you, and if this Ti inferior is not responded to, or respected [to], the Te demon will come out, and they will turn themselves into this insanely ENTJ demonic person. This demonic force, and not only will they force you to listen to them, but they will literally control every aspect of your life.

Chase: 17:11 Now, that’s not to say that an ISFJ INTJ demon will not control aspects of your life. I mean, we’ve all heard the stories of ISFJs, you know, getting cars for their children, but making sure that their name is on the title of the car [to] in order to control their children and say, “Okay, well I can take your car away if you’re not going to do what I tell you,” even though that child is technically 24 years old. Like that happens, but it’s usually on a person-by-person basis. It’s usually like on a one-on-one situation, a very introverted situation. The ENTJ demon is just going to take over your life in every single aspect and control you. Control the money, control the time, control everything you do. All because you did not listen to the ESFJ. Ti inferior. They’re so insecure about what they think that they walk around afraid that they’re stupid. In order for them to not feel stupid anymore you need to want to listen to them so that you can give them feedback based on their thoughts, because the Fe hero needs gratitude and recognition, and if you’re not giving them that feedback, what the hell, you know.

Chase: 18:21 They need that feedback so they could stop feeling afraid that they’re stupid, right, and it’s like, “Okay, well if you’re not listening to me, you must think, Te demon, that I’m stupid. So if that’s the case, after everything I’ve done for you, Si parent and Fe hero, I am going…” This is when like the demon corrupts the upper functions, right? “I’m going to control your life, and control everything about your life until you want to listen to me. The beatings will continue until morale improves.” Yeah. The SFJ way. Yes. That’s how we do it. Painful. Yes. Knee in the gut. Alright, so. Alright. Okay. So yes, we talked about Te child. Ne inferior is just naturally afraid of the intentions of other people. Naturally afraid of what other people want, what other people desire. “This guy might screw me,” right? They are aware at all times that someone, or something, bad could happen to them, and backstab them, and be treacherous to them.

Chase: 19:24 So they are very careful where they put their loyalty, right? They’re very careful who they are loyal to with their Si hero because they don’t know if this person’s going to screw them later, or want to screw them later. This person could have bad intentions. Whereas the ESFJ not so much [be]cause it’s like, “Oh, I’m a little kid. I think everybody in the world has good intentions towards me.” Whereas the ISFJ is like, “Everyone in the world’s out to screw me. Potentially. I got to watch out and protect myself against them screwing me, or my family, or people I know, or people I care about, right?” Completely different perspective. Very different perspective; and you have the ENTP subconscious where the ISFJ can just all of a sudden start having these insane visions, and then all of a sudden they think they think they’re a prophet at church for some weird reason. Guys, no. It’s your ENTP subconscious. Shut up about the prophet stuff, please.

Chase: 20:15 So, with that in mind, ENTP subconscious. It has visions. It can see the future. It’s able to predict things, social changes… also it can have really innovative ideas. Insanely innovative ideas. Especially creating really cool gadgetry, or cool things, especially when they’re going out building, you know. You give an ISFJ a hammer and nail after they’ve been trained on how to use a hammer nail appropriate[ly], they can build some really cool stuff that you’d never thought of. Also, ISFJs, because of that ENTP subconscious – it’s going to sound weird, but they’re amazing decorators because all of their decor is insanely innovative, and they could really go the extra mile with it. ESFJs with their INTP subconscious, like, you’re going to find those ESFJ physicists, or those ESFJ computer programmers, and it’s like, “Where the hell did you learn how to program?”

Chase: 21:07 They can actually do it. It’s also kind of interesting because ENFJs can too. Ti inferior is actually very capable of computer programming, believe it or not, as long as they’re not afraid; because it is easy for them to not be afraid about programming when the computer is telling them they’re doing it right, or if they’re doing it wrong, and then they can fix it, right? And then the program starts working, and it’s all about logic, and then they have… they’re aspiring with their INTP subconscious. Then they could, like, really do some major feats of engineering, right, and they can engineer all sorts of things. Even like… Well, I mean they can engineer new technologies. Implement new technologies that never existed before. I mean, especially, like, when ESFJs get into, like, healthcare, eventually, like, if they’re, like, a doctor, or nurse. An ESFJ doctor or nurse will eventually start inventing entirely new technologies [surrounding] surrounding healthcare.

Chase: 22:05 It’s just whatever they’re into, right? Whatever they have experience with, that’s the key, will help them engineer what they need to with their INTP subconscious, and it’s really amazing thing to see; but again, they have to get rid of the inferior, and start being aspirational with their Ti, and no longer being secure, and no longer be afraid that they’re stupid, right? Whereas with the ISFJ they need to be [afraid], no longer afraid that people aren’t going to screw them. “Oh, because people are not out to screw me, and I don’t have to spend so much time trying to protect myself, I can start innovating.” That’s literally how it works, right? So, on the shadow. ISFJ, ESFP shadow. They got some really nice wise cracks and some really good jokes. That ESFP shadow can actually be insanely hilarious. My mother has an ESFP shadow because she is an ISFJ, and wow, she is really funny sometimes.

Chase: 22:52 […and] Se nemesis is all about being worried about the moment, and worry about the physics; and worried about the experience that they’re giving off to other people; or worrying about how their children are dressed before they go to school; or worried about the dog hair that you have on you, and they’re going to pick it off of you, etc. Now, yes, ESFJs are going to do that, but here’s the difference between the two. Se critic… like, seriously, Se critic makes ESFJs super elitist., okay? Se critic is elitism. It is being the elite. ESTJs and ESFJs both do this. This is why both types, especially when they’re in the gym, they totally go all out. They got to get the abs. It’s all about that elitism, right? I mean why not?

Chase: 23:31 But that’s how they are, and then if they see you with your shoe untied, or [or] your shirt is not buttoned correctly, or something’s wrong with your physical getup, or if you have an undershirt and you’re not showing your man hair, you know what I mean? Your chest hair. They’re going to criticize you, and they’re going to think less of you for it. It’s really dumb, and they can get super elite. They’re literally going to tell you that you’re a loser because you went into Walmart. What? Yes, but [that’s] that’s where that comes from. Se critic. That is exactly where that, [that] those types of things come from is Se critic. “Oh wow. You drive that brand of car. You’re a loser,” you know. Se critic elitism. ISFJs, they’re not going to do that. They’re more worried about it. See, here’s, here’s a good difference.

Chase: 24:12 You got a bunch of dog hair on you. Your ISFJ family member is just going… It doesn’t matter who it is they’re gonna come up to you, and they’re just going to start picking it off of you. Whereas the ESFJ is just going to stand from a distance and tell you, “You got a lot of dog hair. You should probably do something about that,” but they themselves aren’t going to do it. Unless you ask them, and then their Fe hero and their Ne child, “Well, oh, he wants me to do that. Okay, yeah, I’ll do that,” right? Now of course, if you’re [if you’re] their child they probably may just end up doing it anyway on their own because Si parent is activating, but that’s more of an ISFJ thing. The ISFJ thing is the first one to leap in out of the two to, like, fix that problem because they’re going to use their Ti child and Fe parent; and “I should do this Si hero,” and they’re going to get it fixed up for you right away, and they’re not gonna, they’re not gonna waste any time. It’s because they are worried about the experience of other people getting…

Chase: 25:03 Whereas these people are critical about the experiences that [is] being given to themselves and to others, et cetera… and then you have Fi critic. ISFJs walk around feeling worthless, and useless, and negative towards their self worth all the time so that they develop this insanely high moral standard, and then hold everyone else to it to the point where it alienates everyone in their lives. Especially when they get ahold of… or when organized religion gets a hold of them, and then they just start alienating everybody else with their faith? Why? Well, because the virtue and vice of the ISFJ is faith versus fear. Yay. Where this is caregiving versus caretaking. What is the difference? Faith versus fear. You will never find a more faithful person than the ISFJ. Even ISFJ little boys who’ve never been to church before all of a sudden start randomly praying, and then believing that Bigfoot and Santa Claus [is] a real thing because faith is their thing.

Chase: 25:53 Faith is the virtue of the ISFJ. They are so faithful, that’s what allows them to endure any hardship. They can get through it. Whereas this is more like, “Oh, hey, ESFJ. I’m going to be very caregiving towards you,” and then all of a sudden they switch to caretaking. It’s like, “Okay, now it’s a covert contract, and I’m going to be so caring towards you; but I expect caring from you in return and I’m not even going to tell you that I expect that of you.” Yeah, that’s caretaking versus caregiving. Caregiving is all about giving that care without expecting anything in return. Caretaking is a covert contract where you’re giving care and definitely expecting something in [return]. “Oh, if I scratch your back you better scratch mine, but I’m not going to tell you that I expect you to scratch mine; and then when you don’t I’m going to be really bitter at you about it.”

Chase: 26:37 Wow. Great. Welcome to the type that has a covert contract with life. Yeah, that’s not cool. Thank God ISFJs don’t do that. Much… as much… as they do, but that’s usually because they’re holding themselves to this insanely high moral standard; and yes, it can be alienating to other people to the point where they come off as super judgmental, and that’s why a lot of family members… ISFJs end up getting estranged often with people in their families more than and… even in their churches, or their close, close, close knit people groups. Not so much at the workplace because Fe parent kicks in and says, “It’s not appropriate to talk about that stuff at work,” but outside of that they can be really alienating, and then they wonder why they are never invited to anything. Well, that’s because their Fi critic has literally alienated everybody because they’re super high moral standard that they hold themselves, and because they’re so forceful, remember?

Chase: 27:30 They’re forcing their moral standard on other people, and they don’t even know that they’re doing it, and yet they wonder why they’re alone. That’s why. So how do you deal with that? Well, you have to show them appreciation. Oh, by the way both of these types of need you to show gratitude and appreciation, and give them recognition at all times. They need it. They crave it, and that’s the only way that they can live with themselves. Why? Well, the ESFJ worries about their own self worth. This one’s critical towards them and so forth, but they worry about their own self worth. They worry that they’re a bad person, and if you do not give them the recognition that they crave they’re going to continue to worry that they’re a bad person, and that will only contribute more towards going towards the demon instead of their hero, and you do not want them to go demon mode because they will control your life. Don’t let that happen… [and] we talked about Se critic already.

Chase: 28:17 Ni trickster. Never allow an ESFJ to want anything. Run for the hills. Do not allow them to want anything. If they start saying what they want do not let them do it. Only state what you want. “Oh wow. I was thinking I… I’d want, I was thinking, Ti inferior, that I’d want to do this, Ni trickster,” and you’re like, “I don’t want to do that.” Thank God you said that because that got the Ne child to wake up. “Okay, you can want to do that, but I wouldn’t want to do that.” By questioning it they realized, “Oh, okay,” and then you say, “I don’t feel good about that. I don’t value that. I don’t want to do that.” Keep them up in their ego so they realize that they don’t make Ni trickster decisions. ESFJs are the people that will buy cars that they don’t even like. ESFJs are people that will buy property and assets that they don’t even like or care about, and they’re so easily taken advantage of by salesmen.

Chase: 29:10 Luckily ISFJs don’t have that problem because ISFJs has a very pessimistic towards the salespeople, and good luck trying to convince an ISFJ to make that decision. Although they can be had at certain times by certain types. It’s not usual because their Ne inferior is on the lookout for potentially being screwed by default whereas Ne child not so much. “Oh, everyone has good intentions towards me.” Yeah. No. {laughs} That’s not how life is. That nice little dream world you’re living in there, ESFJs, that’s not actually true. I mean, people are not that good. “Oh, but everyone is good.” No they’re not. No they’re not. They’re really evil, and they’re going to screw you, and when they see a sucker like you coming along – oh they just love that so much. You make it so easy though. It’s like taking candy from a baby. Imagine compassionate ENFP going after an ESFJ. Oh man, that ESFJ is so screwed.

Chase: 30:02 So you have the Te trickster. ISFJs are just not aware of what other people think. They’re not aware of the standards that other people have, and their Ti child starts talking and tell them the truth and whatnot, and people are really put off by that. They’re kind of alienated by Ti child because don’t… Don’t they already know that I’m already aware of that? Yet they’re telling [they’re telling] me these things that I’m already aware of. It makes me think, makes me feel like they don’t believe that I already know all this stuff. They don’t believe that I’m already following this organized religion as well as I am. Which must mean they think I’m a terrible person, and then that just further adds to the ISFJ alienation of people in their life because they’re completely unaware that other people have any concept of thinking in their own heads. They’re only aware of their own thinking in their own heads. Which can also make them come off as selfish… which could be problem. Te trickster also makes it almost impossible for ISFJs to do mathematics on paper. They do it all in their head, right? Forcing an ISFJ child to, “Write the problem out on paper and show me how you… Show your work,” is akin to, like, making them fail at math.

Chase: 31:07 Ti child is brilliant. Allow it to be brilliant and it will become brilliant. If you force an ISFJ to show their work you are stifling their intelligence, and you are stifling their ability to think. You’re stifling their ability [ability] to be logical because logic is ‘if this, then this.’ ‘If this, then this,’ inside of themselves. Rational is outside themselves. It’s actually belief. When you’re putting a math problem on paper you’re saying, “I believe the answer is this because of all of these things,” right? Whereas a Ti logic person is, “The answer to this problem is true because of x, y, z, because ‘if this, then this,’ and ‘then this, then this, and then this. If this, then this,’ etc.” It’s all logic based. So just be aware of that. Also ESFP shadow is pretty funny. ISFP shadow actually can be pretty artistic. If ESFJs allow themselves to be they can be artistic in that way and produce some fantastic art; but usually they like to be paired up with an ISFP themselves and allow that ISFP to be artistic, and then participate in that art every now and then.

Chase: 32:14 So that completes this episode on the ESFJ versus, or compared to, the ISFJ. If you have any questions about ESFJs or ISFJs please leave it in the comments section and I’ll answer those questions as soon as possible. If you have… also, like, subscribe to the channel. If you haven’t already, like seriously, subscribe to the freaking channel. That’d be great, and while you’re doing that subscribe also on our podcasts. Every single lecture that I do also has the audio form on the podcast so that if you’re watching me on your phone you can download the podcast; and then – awesome! You have the audio and you can listen to me while you’re on your commute or whatever, and then you’re not eating up your data on your phone, you know, watching YouTube videos all the time so it’s very nice and helpful. I recommend it.

Chase: 32:59 Also, if you’re having a hard time, like, trying to, like, type yourself, download my type grid at csjoseph.life. It’s on the very front page. Enter in your email. Also if you give me your email I’m not going to spam you with some stupid crap. I have private lectures that are going to be made available to just the email audience and nobody else, and the only way to have access to them is through email. Be aware of that, and we’re gonna be talking about cognitive transitions in the first lecture series over email. So be aware of that. Not here to screw you. Not here to spam you. Just that’s where the content is going. I’m going to be separating out my content, and also eventually going to have a members’ area of my website which will also have private content as well on top of what I’m doing here on the YouTube channel; but don’t worry, I still have, like, 500 more lectures in schedule, and I would have added more lectures but I had my children visiting me this weekend and not very much time to film. It happens. Not much I can do about that. So, anyway, with all that being said, I have a lot more of these to film today. So I’ll see you guys tonight.

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