S7E6 – What Is The Virtue And Vice Of ESFPs Delayed Gratification Vs. Instant Gratification

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Transcript:

Chase: 00:01 Hey, it’s CS Joseph with CSJoseph.life, recording from Sardinia in Italy. It’s been a very interesting trip, but I’m not going to allow a trip to get in the way for producing content for you, so we’re going to be doing our next video on virtue and vice. Tonight’s type, or this morning depending on which time zone you’re in, is the ESFP, also known as the entertainer. ESFP is a starter: type formative initiating movement, but instead of being a traditionalist, a duty based past focused protector the ESFP is an artisan, a freedom based creator. So ESFPs have a very interesting virtue and vice. Going to go back to the ESTP a little bit where we talked about how their virtue and vice was chastity versus nymphomania. And many have also attempted to, you know, accuse, or at least hold ESFPs responsible for a similar virtue and vice; and while I admit they do exhibit some signs of chastity versus nymphomania, they’re definitely not the primary type that utilizes these virtues or vice in this [in this] capacity.

Chase: 01:27 Sure, extraverted sensing hero has a bit to do with it, but their sense of morals and how they value themselves get in the way, whereas ESTPS don’t have that problem. Well, it’s not really a problem. They’re just very logical about it. So ESFPs, their virtue and vice is interesting in this similar manner, and it really comes down to two things: their virtue is delayed gratification, and their vice is instant gratification. So since when are ESFPs… well, patient? Since when? Since when are ESFPs willing to wait for results [and] instead of just being impulsive, right? Well, to be honest they’re usually patient, or at least they look like they’re patient, when they’re afraid because they’re not really sure what decision to make because they’re afraid of making the wrong decision, right? So that could be a problem, but that’s also not the main issue.

Chase: 02:38 All too often ESFPs end up making the decision ‘well, if it feels good, do it,’ right? It’s not exactly the wisest decision. And when they’re starting out in life, when they’re immature, because everyone starts out immature, let’s face it, ESFPs end up going along with the crowd. If everyone else is doing it, must be okay, right? And they’d almost end up to a point where they’re willing to try anything or do anything. It also, because they’re so short sighted in that regard, because they’re so in the moment and so afraid of their own future, they end up making decisions rapidly or impulsively. For example, I married an ESFP when I was 19. She was also very young also… had just freshly turned 19. So I would say that getting married at that age is pretty impulsive. Now, I’m not judging her for that.

Chase: 03:41 I mean, come on. I mean I tied the knot with her at 19, let’s be honest. So, but that’s just one example. Or, you know, you, you, you hear the kid crying at the store about his mother not giving him the candy that he wanted, for example, and just that Se rage that strong Se hero rage. [head tilt] ESFP. The mother’s telling the child, you know, “Sorry, delayed gratification,” but the child is crying, and gang raging, and complaining, and throwing a temper tantrum because of instant gratification. Got to have that instant gratification, and that continues to be a struggle for ESFPs because they’re so in the moment. They’re so ‘right now.’ Tomorrow does not have as much significance, and the past, well, they just worry about the past. But that worry about the past actually can be a good thing because as they continue to make instant gratification choices, and they ended up getting burned because they are making these decisions over and over and over, it can be a problem.

Chase: 04:53 Eventually over time they’ll start to worry about their past, and they’ll start to worry that the decisions that they’ve made will bite them in the butt later because of past experience. Eventually past experience becomes an issue for ESFPs. So with all that mind… [glances] in regards to ESFPs… {I haven’t walked on this trail before, so not sure what I expect. It’s a little Si inferior for ya}. ESFPs have this thing where [inhales] because they’ve made poor decisions with their instant gratification they start to develop a sense of Self Protection through their ISFJ unconscious, and through that unconscious they’re actually able to start favoring over time, especially as they get older and especially as they start lumping in failure after failure, after failure, after failure in life. They start to develop delayed gratification and it gets to a point where they are so good at delaying gratification that they’re able to do it more than anyone else. That they’re actually willing to wait and see what happens… and they’re also willing to wait to see what other people are going to do.

Chase: 06:13 They’re waiting to see, you know, if other people have success with a particular decision. Like buying a car for example, and if that car is good they’re willing to wait and find out. So they can be insanely delayed in their gratification after awhile. But that can also turn into a hang up because they can be so delayed in their gratification that it ends up inhibiting them from making decisions, and that’s also a problem. So, you know, that’s why it can, you know, virtue and vice, right? Sometimes your virtue can backfire. ESFP, like, ENTP, which is the next lecture we’ll be doing after ESFP, definitely our virtue backfires all the time. And I’ll explain why, you know… ESTPs with chastity, that virtue can backfire because they can be to chaste, and that could actually inhibit them in their life, and inhibit them from their real goals because they’re just afraid. They’re afraid of making the wrong decision, they’re afraid of wanting the wrong thing, right?

Chase: 07:17 Caregiving for the ESFJ, that virtue can backfire too, because what if they care give too much? What if they become the doormat, right? What about generosity and altruism for the ENTJ? Same thing, being too generous is a problem. So again guys, life, especially in terms of virtual and vice, is all about balance right? Now it’s great that ESFPs will develop that balance over time, which is fantastic. Just like ESTPs will develop faithfulness to a particular partner and be chaste with that one partner over time, right? And develop that [that] faithfulness. So again, it’s all about how… it’s all about how someone attains balance. And remember when all four sides of your mind are working together in harmony, and there’s no resistance or conflict, that’s basically the definition of enlightenment, right? So virtue and vice is just an extension of that enlightenment based… that enlightenment based teaching and how [how] that all works.

Chase: 08:32 I recommend doing everything you can to keep your virtue and vice in bounds, and like for ESFPs, once they start developing that delayed gratification, I mean, they’ll even pull other people in it. They’ll even prevent their partners from being impulsive. They’ll, they’ll even [laugh] they’ll even put up roadblocks at their job. Like when the job is about to make bad financial decisions the ESFP sees it coming. They’re like, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. These other guys had a bad experience with this decision. Why are we going to be making the same decision? Don’t do it.” So the delayed gratification virtue has some serious benefits. Serious benefits to it [to] to other people. And it’s one of the best things about ESFPs. ESFPs have a bad rap for being the party animal, or being irresponsible, short sighted. Never going anywhere in life. Waking up one day and they’re 40 years old and they’re wondering why their life has passed them beyond, you know, and then they’re in midlife crisis mode trying to figure it out.

Chase: 09:36 They have a bad rap for that. But really, once they’ve mastered delayed gratification, they are insanely valuable, insanely valuable. And it’s not because they’re trying to overprotect because they can overprotect with delayed gratification. It’s because they’re really trying to be responsible because the ESFP knows out of all of the types just the kind of damage that impulsiveness through instant gratification can cause. Like here’s another example of instant gratification. I knew an ESFP that I coached a couple of years ago, two years ago to be exact. He’s playing an MMORPG, that was his life. He’s playing Eve Online for example, and his mother was insanely abusive. Physically abusive. She didn’t know how to drive. She walked around feeling worthless all the time, and she took it out on her children. Especially her son, and her son got past 18, 19, 20, still living with her in a trailer… for example.

Chase: 10:38 You know, but he was so focused on the instant gratification that was given to him, that dopamine fix from his social media and from his video games, and it got… and she became so physically abusive to the point that he actually called the cops right? Well the cops showed up and gave him a huge wakeup call, and the cop literally told him to his face, “You know, I mean, I could, I could, you know, take your mother away because I could see the bruises and I, and it’s obvious she did it, but I’m not going to. I’m not going to because I think you need to be a man. I think you need to stop playing your video games and grow up and get a job.” And then the cop walked off after yelling at him. It’s a huge wakeup call. At that moment in time he realized that instant gratification wasn’t doing him any good, and he immediately got a job and he got a car.

Chase: 11:33 Although instant gratification came back and bit him in the butt again because he kept on settling for really bad relationships with people and allowed people to take advantage of him, take his money and whatnot. Lie to him, for example, and really lead him down a path he didn’t want to go. To the point where he ended up in a bunch of debt because of these bad relationships as well as exposing him to risk of, you know, some, some health risks as a result of these relationships. So he learned again, best not to be impulsive especially in the area of relationships; and to be responsible and have delayed gratification. Test the waters before jumping in all the way. This is how he ESFPs work. So ESFPs, if you’re watching this, do your best to be careful in this regard. Do your best to make sure that you test the waters appropriately.

Chase: 12:31 I know a lot of people give you crap. I mean, I’ll even give you crap about how long it takes for you to make a decision, but if you’re making a decision by yourself take the time to stick your toes in the water, you know, and… check the temperature of that water. And yeah, people still give you crap because you’re so afraid of wanting the wrong thing, but there’s a reason for that. If you need help making decisions find other people to help you. Find SJs. SJs are insanely capable [insanely capable] at providing you warnings, and gotchas, and giving you the information that you need to make decisions. So find an SJ. ESFJs are really, really good for it for ESFPs, also ESTJs as well to have some of that rational management point of view. But regardless it’s still important, and do everything you can to empower yourself for making decisions and don’t just jump in both feet, especially on a relationship. Be more reserved.

Chase: 13:34 Be More patient. Delayed gratification. Don’t jump into bed with somebody. Like if you’re an ESFP woman do not jump into bed with somebody until you know that man is willing to take a bullet for you. Because if he’s not willing to take a bullet for you that means he doesn’t love you, so have some self respect and do not sleep with somebody who doesn’t actually love you, right? Or ESFP men, don’t, you know, same thing. Don’t jump into bed with someone randomly, right? Yeah, if you’re willing to take a bullet for them. You have to have self respect, I guess that’s the point. ESFPs that subscribe to impulsiveness and instant gratification, those are the ESFPs that lack self respect. Don’t do it. No one thinks highly of you. No one gets a good experience from you when you do it. If you want people to have a good experience from you, if you want people to think highly of you, then focus, ESFPs on delayed gratification. Because not only does it protect you and benefit you, it also benefits everyone else around you to the point where you could actually help guide the people in your life; guide their thoughts; guide their thinking; help them think properly; provide them with strategies for life. Strategies that you’ve had to develop in order for you to seek out and execute on delayed gratification.

Chase: 14:55 It’s just a huge benefit for everyone in your life. Please do it. I, I, I love how you all live in the moment and how you give people amazing experiences, and you’re hilarious, and you’re the life of the party, and you really bring life to almost anything and everything that you do with how artistic and creative that you are – but please have self-respect. Delayed gratification, it is crucial for your survival: the survival of your family, in any of your friends, any of your relationships, especially romantic ones, because it shows that you have personal standards and personal boundaries. Standards that you hold yourself to with delayed gratification, boundaries that you hold to people close to you with delayed gratification, and it guarantees that you… because you are responsible, they are being responsible through you. And that’s one of the most amazing contributions that you could do for yourself.

Chase: 15:54 So anyway, if you found this lecture educational, insightful, helpful, please subscribe to the channel here on YouTube and on the podcast. That’d be fantastic. If you have any questions about ESFPs or this virtue and vice please leave it in the comment section, and I will do my best to answer your questions. Otherwise, if you have any cool stories about ESFPs and instant gratification or delayed gratification, leave that in the comment section too. I really like… reading other people’s anecdotes and personal experiences about that because sometimes I’m able to share them on my videos, if you know what I mean. So anyway, that’s it for the ESFP. I’ll see you guys tonight.

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