S7E11 – What Is The Virtue And Vice Of INTJs Trust Vs. Paranoia

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Transcript:

Chase: 00:02 Hey, its CS Joseph with CSJoseph.life, doing another episode on our season seven here which is virtue and vice. Thank you for joining us. If you’re on the podcast or on the YouTube channel [trying] to make it a lot easier for everybody just so that we can keep track of where we are with these. Had a few requests come in so I said, “Yeah, why not?” I try to be as informal as possible with these, mostly because it’s important to me that I’m real, you know, real with everyone. As much as it is a show I’m not trying to, like, put on a show necessarily because I’m more focused on content and facts. So anyway, enough of that. Virtue and vice. So we’ve been talking about the see-it-through types recently, we did ISTJ and then we did an ISTP. Tonight’s type that we’re going to be discussing is the INTJ, also known as the strategist. {Wow. It is really windy, kind of nice}. But anyway, the INTJ see-it-through, direct responding, movement.

Chase: 01:35 Intellectual, meaning that it’s an intuitive thinker. Now a little comment about intellectual. So what I define as an intellectual is intuitive thinker, right? Future thinker has nothing to do with, “Ooh, that person’s an intellectual,” who is like, you know, an academic. An academic intellectual of course could be an INFJ who’s got very strong Ti child, and they do a lot of research, right, for whatever their field is. Or an ISTJ who, you know, walking Library of Alexandria. Reads a lot of books, gathers and commits to memory a lot of reference points. A lot of reference material, walking encyclopedias. Does that make them any less an intellectual than the NT types? No, but it’s within which context are we talking about? Are we talking about the context of the temperaments? Are we talking the context in terms of academia, right? Academic intellectuals, not the same thing as intellectuals from the point of view of temperaments, right? Because intellectuals from the point of view of temperaments is just NTs, intuitive thinkers, right?

Chase: 03:00 So anyway, back to virtue and vice again. So what is the virtue and vice of the INTJ, also known as the strategist? Well, it took me a while to pinpoint this one, but, after having relationships… intimate relationships with INTJs, and just having them as friends because they’re highest compatibility with my type, the ENTP, there have been a few things that have triggered me about INTJs. They all seem to do, but I saw a film actually couple nights back on Netflix called “Anon,” A-N-O-N. It’s with Clive Owen, he’s the main actor in the film, and I got to say it was, it was really good. It started out a little boring-ish, but I usually don’t necessarily watch films to be entertained as much as I’ve watched them to be challenged in some way. So… but the film got better and better as it went along, and I’ll never forget the final line of this film. And it’s basically an INTJ woman talking to the Clive Owen main character, and she said something because they’re living in a surveillance society, right, and she’s a hacker. I’m not going to spoil any more about the film, but we live in a society nowadays, which quite frankly is turning into an ENTP or an INTJ‘s nightmare. ENTPs are focused on being free thinking, and when they’re not allowed to be free thinking with their sincerity they go insincere mode, right?

Chase: 05:01 Well INTJs have a similar struggle, just like this INTJ girl did in this film, right? At least she was trying to [be] act like an INTJ: direct responding, movement, intellectual. So see-it-through, intellectual, INT. Okay, yeah, I typed her. So in this society everything about people, everything even they see is recorded. When people commit crimes police automatically show up because everything that they see out of their eyes is recorded. It’s a surveillance society, and well this INTJ girl hacker figured out work arounds about that to conceal her identity in this surveillance society. Surveillance society from Hell. See, this is what happens when people allow the state to become more sovereign than the individual. Not something I recommend. So that’s why I teach type because if everyone understands themselves and understands each other, then they’ll have more respect for the personal sovereignty of themselves and others. Well INTJs inherently understand that. It’s one of the reasons why they are one of my most favorite types, you know. They’re NJs, NJs are my favorite. As much as people are giving me a lot of crap these days about whether or not I like INFJs, not because… apparently I’m overly critical towards INFJs. I have to say they are one of my most favorite types.

Chase: 06:37 I love NJs, they are fantastic. It’s important to me to point out the good and the bad, and well, yeah, I’ve experienced a lot of bad, but sometimes it’s important to put things into perspective. I don’t care if it looks like I’m biased. Hell, I’ll even admit I’m biased. I don’t care. I care about the facts. There’s nothing wrong with me sharing my experience, right, or is there? Anyway, let’s get back to that film. So in the very end of “Anon” the INTJ girl said to the detective, Clive Owen’s character, something very important which absolutely demonstrates perfectly what the virtue and vice of the INTJ is. And she said, quote, “It’s not that I have nothing to hide, it’s that I have nothing I want you to see,” end quote. So what does that mean?

Chase: 07:37 What that means is [is] that we live in a society even today where everyone’s like, “Well, I get to invade your privacy, right?” It’s like when you’re in a relationship with somebody, and just because you’re in a relationship with them all of a sudden you expect, you know, you expect, or they expect, to be able to read your phone, or you read their phone, right? Kinda like to check if they’re cheating, right? That’s an invasion of privacy, guys. Like I don’t care what relationship you’re in, it is wrong to read your partner’s phone. I don’t care, you know. I’ve had to offer many of the women in my relationships to read my phone, to prove my innocence, right, you know, because as an ENTP I look like I’m evil, you know. I have the appearance of evil even though I’m nearly not, but just because I have the appearance of evil does not mean I’m actually doing evil, but it’s easy for ENTPs to be accused in that way.

Chase: 08:36 Right? Same thing goes with INTJs, they have that problem as well. INTJs on the outside look like they’re edgy, right? It’s because they’re not aware of how other people feel, right? So this virtue and vice ends up forming as a result. So we live in a society where our privacy is being inhibited on a regular basis. ENTPs are aware of that, sure, in the way I’ve just described, but INTJs are quite frankly even more painfully aware of it than ENTPs. And they just allow [and], you know, because of that, everyone has the idea that if you have nothing to hide, well that must mean that, you know, it’s okay. It’s okay for me to invade your privacy if you have nothing to hide, right? Yeah, no, that’s bullshit. INTJs have a different point of view. It’s more like they have nothing they want you to see, and that is the foundation behind their virtue and their vice which is… [Their virtue] Their virtue is trust, and their vice is paranoia. Who can blame them?

Chase: 09:41 So trust versus paranoia. Have you ever met a young INTJ who’s somewhat mature? Hasn’t really maybe even graduated high school or learned how to drive yet. They’re very impressionable. In fact, they’re extremely trusting. I gotta say, you know, even [even] some of the mature ones, INTJs that I’ve met, they are the most trusting people I have ever met, to the point where they are at risk of being gullible. Being gullible is something INTJs have a huge struggle with living down at some point in time, to the point where it can be a serious problem. They can be taken advantage of… taken for a ride, right, Shanghaied? its because INTJs are aware that if they don’t have their guard up they will be like lambs led to the slaughter because of how trusting they are. And they learn very soon in early age to not let their guard down because they’ve been taken advantage of consistently. They’re so trusting [of] other people, and their innocent inner Fi child, a little moral child, feels so good about being open with people; and trusting them, and giving them a chance where they live their life to a point where it’s like they’ll give, they’ll, they’ll, they’ll give trust to somebody without that person earning that trust, right? Like, “Okay, yeah, I’ll trust you until you screw me and then you’ll never get that trust back again.”

Chase: 11:32 The mature INTJs figured out that {chuckle} trust has to be earned, right? They figured out real quick that they have to develop, like, they have a need to have a [relate]… They have a need like everyone else to have relationships with people. To meet that need there has to be some kind of trust built in order for that relationship to happen. Because of the risk of being gullible and taken advantage of, INTJs realize that they have to… how should I put it? They have to just default not trust anybody until that trust is earned, right? That protects them from being gullible. That protects them from being taken for a ride, which is a consistent problem, a consistent risk. A lot of people don’t realize that about them. It’s usually because they’re so guarded, they’re so protective with their trust {laugh} that you’d almost never be able to tell that that was an issue to begin with, right?

Chase: 12:43 Well, that’s their virtue, and they’re able… They are so insanely trusting, almost innocently trusting of others, right, and that’s great until you take advantage of it. Mature INTJs are the ones that realize that trust should not just be given out to anybody, that trust… every single person that comes in their life, even members of their own family, that trust has to be earned, right? Now of course INFJs watching this video right now are like, “Well that’s me too, man. I do the same thing.” Yes you do. Yes you do, and I’m not, I’m not discounting that, INFJs. I’m not. It’s just not your primary virtue and vice. You have a different one. That’s primary. This is more of a secondary, maybe even a tertiary. Yes. INFJs, you do struggle in, you know, the trust versus paranoia area, but it’s not your primary. It is the primary for INTJs though.

Chase: 13:42 It is a struggle that they have. So let’s talk about paranoia. We talked about trust a little bit, let’s talk about paranoia. Paranoia is a little bit different. Paranoia… the INTJ, it’s when they’ve been screwed over so much by people, you know, in their relationships that, [that, instead of], instead of just having that situation where, “Okay, you’re a new person in my life. You’re a stranger but you’re becoming less strange to me over time. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and then just allow you to earn trust with me,” right? INTJs can go way too far with that, and it goes super paranoid, right? Where any little inkling that lends them to the possibility where they believe that you might be cheating on them, right, or you might betray them, they will jump to the conclusion and assume that you have betrayed them. That you have betrayed their trust, that you’re sleeping with somebody else, that you are disloyal to them, right? Loyalty. They take loyalty very seriously with their Se inferior. Se inferior needs loyalty, just like INFJs need it too. Don’t worry, but they seriously, seriously need it. Loyalty is everything to the INTJ. Of course, a lot of people watching this would disagree with me, but be patient. Watch yourself, be introspective in your life, and you’ll notice how important it is to you especially as you gain in years. You’ll realize that in the end I’m right.

Chase: 15:20 INTJ paranoia is a problem, and quite frankly NJs all struggle with paranoia in some capacity, but none so badly as the INTJ. The INTJ is the worst because they could take any little thing especially if they’ve been damaged in the past. They will do that to justify with their Si demon, their ISFJ parasite demon side of their mind. Justice. They will elect themselves, judge, jury and executioner, you know. Let’s say they saw a text pop up on your phone that was like from… Then you’re with an INTJ woman and she saw another… text from a woman, and it kind of seemed, wasn’t exactly racy, was kind of like odd… little odd, and then all of a sudden,, like, she also thinks that you may not have been exactly honest with her recently or you’re a little wishy washy about something because you went out and you weren’t being upfront about what you were doing. When in reality you were getting her a birthday present, right, and you weren’t going to tell her about that.

Chase: 16:28 Supposed to be a surprise. But she’s linking those two things together: that [that] weird text, plus the fact that you are gone for that amount of time; and you weren’t exactly telling her all the details about that; and now she’s basically jumped to the conclusion that you’re cheating on her. And then she elects herself judge, jury, and executioner; and then starts making decisions about the fact that she believes that you’re cheating on her, with her paranoia, right; and then she sells you down river. And then all of a sudden you come back, and you’re like, “What the hell?” And then of course you accuse her of being jealous, right? And it just makes it escalate, it gets even worse, and then the relationship breaks down and it’s over; and the INTJ woman has just realized after it came out all the way that you were telling the truth, and you were just getting her a birthday present, right? After it came out that you didn’t actually do anything wrong in the first place. Ah, yes, the INTJ self sabotage. The INTJ self licking ice cream cone. The INTJ self fulfilling prophecy.

Chase: 17:37 See that’s the problem with paranoia. Paranoia has this problem where it can actually cause the things you’re trying to avoid to come true if you’re not careful. Such is the way of the virtue and vice of the INTJ. Trust versus paranoia. So how do we solve this problem? If you’re in a relationship with an INTJ here’s what I recommend. Always be upfront with them. Always state your intentions. That way there’s nothing left up to interpretation. If they ask you what you’re doing tell them. That’s the only way that they’re comfortable. Se inferior needs you to be comfortable, and if you’re comfortable enough to tell them what you’re doing then they will be comfortable themselves. And then that fear, that worry, that worry that you may have hostile intent towards them, that worry that you might betray them one day because everyone else in their life has betrayed them except you, their lover, right?

Chase: 18:42 Loyalty goes a long way with INTJs. Always state what you’re doing, always state your intentions, they need that. If you state what you’re doing the fear goes away. If you state your intentions the worry goes away. This is called making their inferior function and their nemesis function comfortable, because they’re looking at you, likely an Si user because Si users are typically loyal, right, and Se users are searching for loyal users, right? People who are consistent, right, because INTJs need consistency, right, like all Se users. Se users need consistency. Si users provide consistency. Si users provide that security for the Se users. Such is the way of trust versus paranoia. If you are consistently trustworthy [that] there is no paranoia, there’s no risk of paranoia anymore. INTJs need to know that you’re willing to take a bullet for them, especially INTJ women. If you’re sleeping with an INTJ woman and you’re not willing to take a bullet for her, you’re not willing to die for her, stop that relationship immediately. INTJ women, if you’re listening to this and your man is not willing to die for you, to take a bullet for you, throw him in the dumpster, move on. What a waste. Seriously, that’s a waste.

Chase: 20:11 You have every right to expect loyalty. Every right. That should be a personal standard that you have for yourself, and that should be a boundary that you draw the line for other people in your life. Loyalty. It’s okay to expect that. There’s nothing wrong with you, if you do that there’s everything right with you. Trust versus paranoia. Paranoia is a problem. It can cause the things you’re trying to avoid to come true. If you’re in a relationship with an INTJ like I said, state what you’re doing. Be up front, be open. Oh, honesty and openness is everything to an INTJ. It is what keeps back the paranoia. It is what keeps them in their virtue to be that super mega, mega, super trusting person. Almost innocent in their trust because they know for a fact that you will never take advantage of them. They know for a fact that you will never betray them

Chase: 21:10 If they are in their paranoid state and you know it, throw all your cards on the table and be like, “Hey, this is what I’m doing,” and you know what? They’ll feel bad. They’ll feel really bad that they jumped to the wrong conclusion because you’re being honest and open with them. You’re stating what you’re doing, and they’ll feel bad that you had to reveal the fact that you were sneaking around trying to get them a nice birthday present instead of cheating on them like they initially thought, right? It doesn’t have to be with cheating, I’m just using that as an example by the way. If you are an INTJ and you’re watching this, and you struggle with paranoia, have a [per], you know. Like I said have a personal standard within yourself for loyalty, but remember instead of assuming, never assume that people are up to no good. Verify it.

Chase: 22:04 Always verify it. INTJs, I get that you folks are like super quick because you’re triple movement. Your ego is a movement type, your subconscious is a movement type, your unconscious shadow is a movement type. So you’re flying all over the place, super speed, no one’s faster than you. That’s true, except maybe ENFPs, but you’re super fast, right? Don’t allow that speed to cause you to jump to conclusions, and then judge people as untrustworthy, as people who will betray you as traitors, right? Don’t do that, because nine times out of 10, eight times out of 10, seven times out of 10, you’re wrong. [You know]. I get that, you know, as an INTJ you may not like surprises, but it’s not about you. Sometimes people want to surprise you too, right? {sigh} Be okay with that. Communicate. Honesty and openness, it goes both ways. You know that, but don’t use it as a covert contract. Make sure that everyone in the relationship, friends or intimate relationships, even family, state that [you] expect honesty and openness; and if you’re not getting it, well, then the relationship has to stop. Also, remember mature INTJs, they have this thing when it comes to new people.

Chase: 23:37 Obviously don’t just trust them right off the bat, like you may have done in your early years, but at least go so far to allow them to earn trust, but don’t have it be a covert contract. Tell these people how they can earn your trust. Communicate with them. A lot of the times that [a lot of the times that] INTJs get paranoid it’s usually because they themselves are not communicating because it’s a covert contract. The INTJ themselves needs to communicate with their partners and their friends “how” that they can earn trust, because if they don’t know, they’re just going to try [to]. It’s left up to interpretation, you know. In the same way where you INTJs accuse other people of leaving things up to interpretation, right, when they’re not being upfront with you, and they’re not being honest and open with you, right? So don’t be a hypocrite.

Chase: 24:27 Communicate. If you expect other people to communicate with you so that you can absolutely trust them, you better be communicating with them what your expectations are. Because if you’re not it’s your own damn fault, and it makes you a hypocrite. Don’t do that. Please. I love you. I love INTJs dearly. This is why it’s important to me to tell the truth about you, so you can understand your hang-ups and the hang-ups of the INTJ types so that you do not bring those hang-ups in your relationships. That’s why I criticize everybody on this channel inasmuch as I praise them. Remember that

Chase: 25:08 Anyway that is everything I got so far on trust versus paranoia, the virtue and vice of the INTJ. If you found this lecture helpful, insightful, educational please subscribe to the YouTube channel or on the podcast, and if you have any questions about INTJs or their virtue and vice leave it in the comment section. The next video we’re going to be doing is the INFJ. Of course the INJs are the most highly asked for types. It’s probably because if you asked me the bullshit MBTI tests that we have on the Internet – I’m sure the majority of people test as INFJ or INTJ, let’s be honest. I know I did when I first took the test, right? Mistypes are ridiculous… not [not] good. Use the temperaments please, use the interaction styles, use the cognitive functions, and then you’ll know what type you are. It helps. Awesome. So I’ll see you guys on the INFJ video. See you guys tonight.

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