S12E3 – What Types Are Socially Compatible With ESTPs?

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Transcript:

Chase: 00:03 Hey guys. It’s CS Joseph with CSJoseph.life doing our second episode here on Youtube and on the podcast for social compatibility. Today’s type, we’re going to be discussing the ESTP because apparently that’s, like, what we do around here is discuss… nothing but ESTPs for some reason, and… You think another ESTP video right away is just bad? Guess what? There’s another one. So I guess we’re gonna be discussing ESTPs for a little bit, but I mean that’s what we do. So anyway, let’s just do a dive into these because I’m concerned that they’re a little repetitive, and I don’t want to get too repetitive with these, so I kind of want to go through them a little bit quicker. So we’re just going to be doing top four compatibility and lowest four capacity compatibility: exploring them, and how the cognitive functions work, et cetera. Just remember, this is social compatibility, also known as friendship compatibility; and that’s based off of shoulder to shoulder compatibility, which is also known as professional compatibility; and face-to-face compatibility, which is intimate compatibility, or sexual compatibility, or even parental compatibility; and friendship compatibility, also known as social compatibility are basically these two average together. These two algorithms averaged together. Then a weighted average, and you get… Friendship compatibility, aka social compatibility, and that’s how we came up with this list.

Chase: 01:26 So ESTJs are compatible with SJs first, NPs second, SPs third, NJs fourth; and then to break it down even further STJs, NFPs SFJs, NTPs, NTJs, SFPs, NFJs, and fellow STPs last in terms of compatibility. Why is that? Well, I mean, you wouldn’t want to date your brother or your sister. You wouldn’t be friends necessarily with your brother and sister if they’re, like, the same type of you. That’s just going to lead to competition, and who’s the better ESTP, or who’s the better ISTP, or who’s the better STP. Like, that would suck. So why do that. Anyway here’s the complete list of the friendship compatibility, or social compatibility, for the ESTPs, or the persuaders. As a result of the output of the algorithm, which is ISTJ; ESTJ; INFP; ENFP; ISFJ; ESFJ; INTP; ENTP; INTJ; ENTJ; ESFP; or ISFP, excuse me – ESFP; INFJ, ENFJ, ISTP, and ESTP at the bottom. Yes. A lot to say in a little bit of time. Sure.

Chase: 02:36 Anyway, top four compatibility. Remember the rule is: ‘the shortest distance between two points is a straight line,’ and introverted functions are source functions, and extraverted functions are trying to consume the sorts of functions like Pac-Man. So you have extraverted sensing trying to consume Si. Why is that? ESTPs want to give other people an experience, and introverted sensing heroes want to receive the experience from ESTPs; and extraverted thinking for the ISTJ is looking for the logic of Ti parent. So remember we have ISTJ and ESTP right here. Same thing with the introverted feeling. So ISTJs like to feel good about themselves. ESTPs want to make them feel better. So there’s no conflict there, and ISTJs are all about what other people want. The ESTPs are trying to figure out what they want.

Chase: 03:28 ISTJ is a little insecure about what other people want, but they’re both insecure in that area so, again, cancels out – no problem. Definitely compatible. ISTJs are worried about giving ESTPs a bad experience, and ESTPs are already worried about having a bad experience, so it’s not a problem. ISTJs are very critical over what they think. ESTPs are constantly critical towards what everyone else thinks anyway, and because the ISTJ is already critical what they think they’re already pretty good. So that can be a good or bad thing depending on the relationship, but in this relationship it’s not a bad thing because, again, one’s already critical and the other one’s already critiquing everyone’s thinking anyway; and the ESTP is not really aware of how they feel, but good thing the ISTJ is not aware of how anyone feels anyway. So no conflict, right, and the ESTP does not give a damn about whether people want, and the ISTJ doesn’t give a damn about what they want because they’re very dutiful. They’re not about what they want. They’re all about what they should do. So latent compatibility all the way across. Shortest distance between two points is straight line; and, also, these cognitive functions that they’re seeking, their counterpart, are not breaking into the unconscious side of their minds. They’re staying in the ego, which is super important for compatibility.

Chase: 04:42 Now the ESTJ plus ESTP relationship – same thing. It’s basically the same as the ISTJ. The difference is [is] there’s a little bit of humility in the functions. Why is that? Well, it’s because you have the parent seeking the hero, and the hero seeking the parent, in this hero-parent relationship. Super high compatibility, yes, and they behave very similarly. The difference [is] is that the heroes don’t really see… don’t really have a risk of being challenged. If you look at this relationship, Se hero may think it’s better than Si hero, or Si hero might think it’s better than Se hero; and there is the chance of friendly competition developing in this kind of relationship, but in this one not so much because Ti is one level down as a parent, for example, for the ESTP and Ti parent. Although, I mean, Te heroes still basically has reins on thinking in the relationship, but as Te hero is saving the world and whatnot, Ti parent can be telling the hero… Like, the parent telling the hero, like, “Stop saving the world like this because you’re putting the children at risk, and it’s going to cause a problem,” right?

Chase: 05:44 So collateral damage – because the parent exists to protect the children, aka the child functions, and the parent is warning the hero, “Hey, hold on, you’re going to cause collateral damage,” and guess what? The hero always listens to the parent. Even, you know… sometimes heroes don’t necessarily listen to fellow heroes. Why is that? Well, it’s because they’re both optimistic at the top, but the parentals are very pessimistic, and sometimes optimists need to hear pessimism so that they behave wisely, right? And that’s why there is some latent built-in humility within this relationship making it also super, super, powerful and super compatible for the ESTP and the ESTJ; and if you also notice there is no going into the unconscious which keeps it very compatible. All the functions and their needs are within the ego and readily accessible at all times, right? So it is pretty dope.

Chase: 06:35 The ESTP and the INFP. This is a very interesting relationship. I actually know somebody who is married to an INFP, and from a friendship standpoint it’s [it’s] the top third spot for ESTPs. It can actually work out pretty well because you have inferior functions seeking the parent functions, or parent functions seeking the inferior functions; and then you have hero functions working with children, and the children functions working with the hero. Hero functions really do like the child. They like to pick up the child, stick them on their shoulder, and fly away. You know what I mean? It can be a really good relationship, and the child is, like, on this gravy train [and], “Wow! This is really fun,” you know what I mean? So it can get in that direction. Also inferior functions can actually develop a little bit because the [t]… because the parent functions, like, Ti parent, actually helps Te inferior develop a little bit more; and Te inferior ends up becoming a lot more intelligent, and a lot stronger with its ability to organize, gather thoughts… be, you know, gather more reference points.

Chase: 07:33 It [it] really can stretch Te inferior’s ability to really leverage what it knows, or leverage what other people know. Especially when it reads books, and gathers reference points, and tries to become its own Library of Alexandria. Also what’s great about this is that ESTPs have INFJ subconscious, and INFJ subconscious is super compatible with INFP ego; and [the] as the INFP is developing its personal philosophy the ETP gets off on that personal philosophy because it wants to execute and deliver that personal philosophy to others as the IFP develops it. And INFPs also have their ESTJ subconscious which really helps STPs because then they could help ESTPs stay organized, for example, and actually get things done, and take care of a lot of tasks that the ESTP just doesn’t want to have anything to deal with. Like, especially paperwork. Let’s be honest. So awesome. [they] Also they don’t go down into the shadow area as well. They stay up here in the ego so [there] is readily available.

Chase: 08:38 Now the ENFPESTP, kind of similar story to the [to the] INFP. The difference [is] is that the inferior functions are getting hit by the hero functions, and the hero function can be too much for the inferior functions in this relationship. Like, for example, an ESTP could give such a huge experience to Si inferior that it makes the ENFP super uncomfortable, or the ENFP is just, like, throwing a whole bunch of unloaded options, and unlimited ‘what if?’ that it continues to make the ESTP‘s Ni inferior insecure, and actually can lead them into failure to launch syndrome; or [just] they just become unable to make any decision because it would just feel so overwhelmed with all the possibilities that the ENFP is presenting them. Still is compatible though. It is top four within the friendship compatibility, the social compatibility, and it can definitely work from a ‘friends’ standpoint. Would I recommend this relationship for an intimate relationship? I mean, it can happen, and I’ve seen it happen, but… probably not optimal because of that. Especially because it’s a one-on-one relationship, but when you’re, like, a mixture of one-on-one… face-to-face, and shoulder to shoulder and have that friendship, you know, barrier up because, okay, you know, “We’re friends but not close,” et cetera. This relationship can actually work in that [in that] context, et cetera.

Chase: 10:00 So anyway, that is the top four most compatible on this side. Let’s be going to the ‘not compatible’ side, and you can already see that it’s a shit-show because – look at this huge traffic jam we have here. These functions [are] all of these functions are having to jump into the unconscious instead of staying in the ego. They’re not getting fed by any other functions within the ego, and it’s just this giant traffic jam. It’s, like, it’s like a radio that’s being jammed. It requires so much mental energy to jump down below there for all these functions to be able to make contact with these other functions down here and up here, and it’s just absolutely crazy. ENFJ is similar to traffic jams [in this] in this area, and on top of that this really long range trying to… Remember, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Your functions are trying to consume other functions and have relationships. Definitely want to have something closer to you. Definitely want to have something more readily available, especially within the ego.

Chase: 10:58 Otherwise, if it’s not there right across in someone else’s ego it takes a lot of mental energy, and [this] and these relationships are insanely draining for ESTPs. So draining that they will often have to completely withdraw and then go extravert elsewhere. Like, go to a bar and whatnot. You see ESTPs drinking? Chances are it’s because… they’re friends with NFJs, or fellow STPs, you know, in a friendship sense because they’re just so stressed out by the amount of mental energy it takes them to handle this, right, you know; and remember, [this] this is all friendship based. Some of these relationships are different when it comes to, like, working professional relationships. There can be professional relationships with these as a result, but again, you know, like. Like, professionally speaking the ESTP plus EST, that shoulder to shoulder so that’s more like, “Okay, yeah, you’re like my brother or my sister,” but again, it’s very shallow. It’s very neutral, but in a friendship situation I wouldn’t recommend it because that just leads to competition.

Chase: 11:56 Look at how far [these] these functions have to travel. We have the hero function trying to eat the nemesis, or in this relationship up here which is INFJESTP you have the hero function trying to consume the demon, or the demon trying to consume the hero function. It’s just not going to work. On top of the interference that you have to deal with it it’s just definitely not going to work, and, you know, STP versed on STP relationships – that’s also unwise because, again, it just leads to competition. “I’m smarter than you,” or, “I’m more mechanically capable than you are. I have a better understanding of physics and science than you ever would I. I know simple machines better than you do,” and it just turns into conflict. It’s very wrought with conflict whereas the NFJs… {Laughs} The ESTP walks around. The NFJs realize, and thinks, that the ESTP is more wise than them, and then they’re willing to prove it to them; and that can actually cause damage to each other’s relationships, reputations, etc. It can actually turn into a lot of collateral damage.

Chase: 13:01 However, NFJs do teach ESTPs a lot about themselves because ESTPs are trying to be that INFJ subconscious [that] they can actually learn from fellow NFJs from a distance and observe them, and how they behave, to learn how they can optimize, or improve, their area of their own subconscious, right? So [it is] remember, just because you’re not compatible with a type doesn’t mean that you should not be having a relationship with them. Having incompatible types around you [are] important because it sharpens you. There’s an old adage: ‘as iron sharpens iron, so does one man to another.’ Likely those two men had incompatible relationships, and they just sharpen each other, and they make them better men; and that’s also important for ESTPs to realize because that Ni inferior needs to be okay. Ni inferior needs to be okay with failure, and seeking failure, because through failure they gain wisdom, and that wisdom is what they need to activate their INFJ subconscious and become an even more integrated and mature ESTP, right?

Chase: 14:02 And guess what? Fellow NFJs actually help show that to ESTPs from which they can learn. Especially, like, because how many times have you heard of the ESTP that goes onto the spiritual journey and they met a guru, which was likely an NFJ, you know what I mean? That’s where that concept come[s] from. Very incompatible, but enough to give the ESTP the wisdom that they’re looking for to develop their own wisdom. Give them the experiences, even if it’s a negative experience, from which they can draw wisdom from. They need to draw wisdom from failure because remember: wisdom, which is the token of power of the INFJ, cannot come without suffering. I can’t comfort anyone into wisdom, right? Wisdom comes from suffering, and suffering comes from failure. That’s why failure is the greatest teacher, and that’s where you get wisdom, right?

Chase: 14:47 Again, this is how it happens from a type compatibility standpoint. Incompatibility is useful. Yeah, sure. Just, you know, I’m not asking to be friends with your guru, right? They’re a teacher. It’s different. So learn from incompatible types. Let them be your teacher, but I’m not asking to be friends. This is friends compatibility, you know. Social compatibility for friends. Okay, fair enough. So not necessarily applicable, but that’s why these relationships are still important to have anyway. [remember] So remember, highest compatibility up here: top four, top six, and it gets really neutral, and it starts getting negative. You want to keep the negative compatibility at a more of an acquaintance point of view. Very shallow kind of relationship. Keep them, like, at arms length as an acquaintance, and [that’s] and it’s the same with any type that I would recommend that with.

Chase: 15:34 So anyway. That is the ESTP social compatibility. If you found this lecture, educational and helpful, useful, please subscribe to the channel here on YouTube and on the podcast. Leave a like while you’re at it. If you have any questions about ESTP compatibility please leave in the comments section, and I will answer your comments. Someone just informed me today that I was not paying any attention to the discussion comments on my channel. They are 100 percent. I completely missed those. My bad, but I am [keeping] I am paying attention to that now, and I am reading it. So if you leave a comments in the discussion area I will get to them. Thank you for being patient with me, and I am also… Anytime a notification comes up on my phone for comments I am also reading those as well. So. Awesome. Well I have a lot more of these to shoot today, so I’ll see you guys tonight.

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Peter
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Peter

estp with an infj? Impossible! the infj would get cheated on relentlessly. first hand experience of every estp I’ve ever met

Jeanette
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Jeanette

Hello— I have a question about infp and Estp compatibility for long-term setups. From my experience, as an infp, I find Estps really challenging and compelling like intriguing but like I’m being stretched to the limit in trying to maintain a connection to them. Is this the nature of the relationship or does that stretched-to-The-limit feeling actually indicate a development of hard to reach functions? Basically can this be a positive relationship for long term setups like marriages? Thanks a lot!

C.S. Joseph
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Most types end up with their 3rd most socially compatible type for marriage, which is ESTP for INFPs.

All functions do still line up within the Ego, but it’s a bit jumbled around. So while you can still meet each other’s needs, you both will challenge each other quite a bit.

With maturity and patience, this is a great relationship long term