Chase: 00:04 Hey, it’s CS Joseph with CSJoseph.life. Tonight, we’re going to be doing the first in our compatibility series. What is the Social Compatibility of the ESTJ or which types are Socially Compatible with the ESTJ? I always start with ESTJ with my various lecture series specifically focusing on the types. So that, with that, let’s get started. So there is a rule with compatibility. It all stems from compatibility, well, sets of rules. Okay, let’s be honest. But one major rule of that few rules that we have for compatibility with the, with the 16 types is that Rule number one is, it’s about cognitive functions, right? Rule number two, compatibility is based on cognitive functions. Rule number two is the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. You have to keep that in perspective the entire time when you’re watching this lecture or listening to this lecture on the podcast. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
Chase: 01:11 Now, if you remember actually in one of my previous lecture series I talked about cognitive synchronicity, you can go into the playlist section and find cognitive synchronicity that is actually the precursor series to compatibility. I highly recommend for you to get an even more understanding of social compatibility that you really spend time watching cognitive synchronicity, because with cognitive synchronicity, you will be able to kind of get an idea of what I mean when I say the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. It really comes down to the cognitive functions. So, if you ever, played Nintendo and played a game called Pac-Man, or perhaps Pac-Man was on arcade at the local pizza joint when you were growing up, like it was for me, among other pretty cool games, let’s be honest. Pac-Man has this thing where, you know, where Pac-Man’s the one going around chomping down things, right?
Chase: 02:13 Okay, well that’s basically how the cognitive functions work. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. The two points I’m talking about is one cognitive function and another cognitive function. And it starts with either an introverted cognitive function or an extroverted cognitive function, but it all is about the extroverted cognitive function, trying to consume the introverted cognitive function. This is where we get the concept of synchronicity or cognitive synchronicity. So please go to that playlist, watch, listen, learn about cognitive synchronicity so you have a better idea of how compatibility works before you start this lecture series, otherwise, let’s get started. And let’s talk about the ESTJ being compatible. So, before we actually start talking about cognitive functions, let’s talk about the temperaments and how it was not really necessarily the temperaments. Actually, there was a diagram made by the MBTI years and years ago, and it wasn’t temperaments, but it’s what they believed.
Chase: 03:22 You know, types are kind of like each other. So they put all the INT’s together. They put all the, while they put all the IN’s together and they put all the EN’s together and then they put all the ES’s together and the IS’s together and they made this grid out of it. Right? Well, I mean that grid doesn’t really mean anything, except kind of with compatibility. Just a little bit, and I’ll explain why, so when you’re actually going to determine the compatibility of a type, and we’re going to start with the ESTJ tonight. Let’s check it out right here. SP, NJ, SJ, and NP, functionally speaking, an ESTJ in general, because remember this is all about social compatibility, and also remember with compatibility we’re talking about what’s natural. We’re focusing on human nature. We’re just focusing in Jungian Analytical Psychology terms.
Chase: 04:12 We’re not talking about nurture based compatibility with these lectures. We’ll get to that later. Also understand what I’m talking Social compatibility, don’t even start thinking about sexuality or intimacy. That is a completely different two lecture series that I am going to be doing in the future and don’t think about working compatibility either. You know, like when you have a job and you have relationships with people at like your work, etc. Career based stuff or even like if you’re an entrepreneur or a boss or whatever, and also parental as well. It’s a completely different set. Those compatibilities again, entirely different lecture series and we’re focusing on natural. So why social compatibility? Social compatibility literally, it’s just another fancy way of saying “general.” I mean this is in general, this is the main ballpark. This is the average. This is average compatibility across, distributed across all the types per type and the first point resonance we’re going to use this one in 16 types and then just show you how they are compared to everybody else.
Chase: 05:17 That’s it. So just remember, we’re going to be focusing on one type natural compatibility and we’re not going to talk about nurture, and we’re not talking about sexuality here, and this is just average compatibility, we’re not talking about working, or parenting, or these other types of relationships. Because remember, you have face to face relationships and shoulder to shoulder relationships, you know, and like for example, sexuality is a face to face relationship, Social Compatibility or General Compatibility is all of that kind of average together over a weighted average through this algorithm that I’m going to show you at least the basic components, the algorithm. I’m not going to spell out the algorithm for you, like, sorry, I’m not going to do that, but I’m going to bring up, bring up the basic components of said algorithm, and you’ll understand why the way it is set up with compatibility for these types during social compatibility is more based on an average.
Chase: 06:11 Right? So this is average compatibility for each of the types. And we’re gonna start with ESTJ. So, Natural Social Compatible. Now ESTJ’s are compatible with SP’s first, NJ’s second, SJ’s third, and NP’s last. Okay, that would make sense because you know, the INFP is the Unconscious or the Subconscious of the ESTJ, right? So it’s like polar opposites, right? Well, okay, that’s really bird’s eye view when we’re looking at just like SP’s, NJ’s, SJ’s, NP’s, etc. It’s very bird’s eye view, but it is a nice ballpark point to just kind of understand how generally compatible, you know, ESTJ’s are with the other types, right? Well, it goes beyond that. So, to go in a little bit deeper then you start looking at it this way. ESTJ’s are very good, compatible with STP’s and then there, secondly, compatible with NFJ’s.
Chase: 07:10 Okay. Now notice how we went from SP to NJ all of a sudden and yet there’s still another SP here. Okay. The reason why as compatibility works like this, almost with any other way with Cognitive Functions, you have Primary and Secondary. Dominant and Auxiliary like, I’m not going to say that. Sorry. I’m just gonna say Primary and Secondary. It makes more sense to me. Right? I’d be like, ooh, I’m Ni Dom, so like, I’m super mega special and I could see into the future. No you can’t. You can see in your future just not anyone else’s. Sorry bro. Anyway, the point is, is that Primary and Secondary, so this will be a Primary. This will be Secondary, Primary, Secondary, Primary, Secondary, Primary, Secondary. It makes sense in that way if you follow it this way. However, just because NFJ’s are a secondary relationship, they’re still highly compatible.
Chase: 07:57 And if you wanted to know what are all the 16 types ranked together from one to 16 in compatible, and compatibility mode with ESTJ. Well, here’s the freaking list right here. Here’s the list. Highest compatibility being the ISTP, lowest compatibility being the ESTJ itself, obviously, because why would you like want to, you know, I mean basically they’re like your brother, right? Or your sister, right? When you’re with someone with like another person of your own type and then it could like turn into a competition to see who’s the better ESTJ. I mean really, who would really want to have that? I know I don’t, I know fellow ENTP’s, they’re either super cringe or they’re like super insincere or they’re too sincere or they’re just triggering me all the time and it’s like, okay, yeah, I have a really hard time being around fellow ENTP’s or, and I can imagine in any situation people have a lot of times being around or near or in relationships with or friendships with. Basically, you know, their own type.
Chase: 09:04 Social compatibility, remember, Natural Compatibility. Social Compatibility, Average Compatibility, General Compatibility, the Compatibility for Friendship. That’s what I’m talking about. Friendships here. So friendship wise, do you really need to have another ESTJ as your friend if you’re an ESTJ? Not really. “Oh, but Mr. CS Joseph, I’m an ESTJ and I’m in a relationship with another ESTJ!” No, you’re not. One of you is mistyped. Let’s be honest. Like one of you is mistyped. No, you’re not. No. Move on. That’s not how it works. Sorry, I, I get. That’s probably what your test results tell you, but like we have this thing called how to type yourself and others. That’s this playlist on this channel.
Chase: 09:43 Please do us a favor and watch that so you can stop walking around thinking that it’s okay for the same type of in a relationship with another of the same type, because that’s really ridiculous and I’ll prove it to you if you continue watching. So this is it. So when you’re, when you’re wanting to have friendships with people, I highly recommend that you really stick to the top six. The top six is the golden area. It’s very nice and even more so, the Top Four. It’s even more nice for ESTJ’s. It’s got the ISTP’s, got the ESTP’s, you’ve got the INFJ’s, got ENFJ’s, I’ll explain that in a minute. And then you have more SP’s down here because who doesn’t like SP’s if you’re like an ESTJ? Because Artisans are awesome, right? They’re very creative. They give you a good experience, you know what I mean?
Chase: 10:29 And then you have Neutral Compatibility. This is very neutral. It’s kinda like, oh, an INTJ. Okay. He’s useful. It’s not being an ass to me, eh, move on, you know? Oh, an ENTJ. Oh yeah. He’s in charge like I am. We’re the same interaction style. He totally gets me in that way. I could definitely work with that guy or I could definitely be his friend, but it’s kinda more like “on the surface,” you know what I mean? And then there’s like, the INTP is like, wow, that guy is really, really brilliant. I’m glad I can keep them around to help me, you know, give me the facts so I can always go to him, hey, what do you think about this? But then after I’m done, I’m just going to kind of keep him at a distance because like, why do I, I don’t, I’m not really interested in being around him and he’s not being, he’s not interested in being around me, so I’m just kinda like move on, you know what I mean?
Chase: 11:15 And then there’s the ENTP, me right? ESTJ’s, you know, they’re either completely cringed out by ENTP’s or they’re like, wow, someone who have intelligence who is around and we can actually do stuff. But that’s usually like a working relationship, you know, shoulder to shoulder relationship. Do I actually have straight up friendships with ESTJ’s? Maybe one time in my entire life. And that relation started out as a working relationship first. It wasn’t like, oh, I was on the school yard, then I had an ESTJ friend like, that never happens. No thank you. Like, sorry. It’s not going to. You have to have some other kind of relationship to reach friendship level, and this is Friendship Compatibility because Social Compatibility, so based on that from, you know, from a “just friend’s” point of view, ESTJ’s and ENTP’s, we’re not going to start out friends just for the sake of being friends.
Chase: 12:05 We’re probably going to start out with a working relationship first and then develop into friends. Don’t forget, different kinds of relationships can be gateways into other kinds of relationships. We’ll talk more about that later and then you start getting down here where it becomes a Negative Relationship because you know, I mean ESTJ’s sure, they can be “friends-ish,” you know, but it’s very, it’s very surface level. It’s not as deep. It’s very shallow and your friendships started to get really, really shallow. They’re neutral here, but they’re really shallow here, but they can be pretty deep relationships, deep friendships here, especially when, you know, the ENFJ’s trying to invite you to go on their hunting trip with all their friends and they just want to make sure you’re included and you’re like, hell yeah, I want to go. That sounds like a fantastic experience.
Chase: 12:48 And then the ENFJ is going to tell you, oh, by the way, we’re gonna be jumping out of a plane first. Then you’re like, hell yeah, I’m all in! Come on. That’s how it works. You know, this is what, this is the order of Compatibility for Friendship, also known as Social Compatibility. So, why? Why is it this way? Remember the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Okay? And now I understand that this audience will start asking me to do specific type relationships with, you know, like, so, “Oh, tell me about the relationship between an ESTJ and an ISTP and please do a video on that.” Those are coming. Those lectures are coming where I would be doing specific types to compare or, “in a relationship” or friendship with other specific types. It is on a schedule, but that is way down the road.
Chase: 13:41 We have to get through the basics of compatibility first at a high level before we do the deep dive on the specific, on the specific types. Because think about that, that 16 times 16 worth of lectures. Okay? Like you get, you folks got to understand that I have years and years worth of content for this channel planned. It’s gonna take a long time to get through it, but don’t worry, I certainly intend to, because I want to have every single iota of this science completely analyzed and provided to you here on YouTube and on the podcast so that you can know everything there is to know about psychology because I mean if you don’t then the world’s not going to change and it’s gonna continue to suck for all of us, so let’s not do that. Anyway. So let’s look at the rest of this insanely written board here.
Chase: 14:32 So I got these four types here. So this is the ESTJ relationship with the ISTP, ESTJ with ESTP, ESTJ friends with the INFJ, ESTJ friends with the ENFJ, and these are for positive relationships. These are basically the top four over here in this list and these in the middle, ESTJ plus INFP you see, ESTJ plus ENFP, ESTJ plus ISTJ, ESTJ plus ESTJ. That is the bottom four. So I am showing you the best friendship compatibility and the worst friendship compatibility for the sake of this lecture right now on this whiteboard. So let’s talk about the best, right? The ISTP, they are shadow types to each other, but remember the shortest distance between two points is a straight line and check it out. There is a straight line between this person’s Hero and this person’s Hero. And remember the Extraverted Function is trying to consume, Pac-Man style, the Introverted Function, because the Introverted Function as a source and the Extraverted Function is looking for the source.
Chase: 15:36 That’s why when Te users are in a room of Ti users, they feel smarter and it is no different for the ESTJ. When the ESTJ walks in the room and there’s a bunch of Ti users everywhere, they just start feeling more intelligent. Why else do you think people like Tai Lopez who have Te Child are talking about reading books all the time because they just surround themselves with books and they just start feeling smarter because they’re surrounded by books. Whether or not they read them or not is another thing, and you know what? Guess what? When they start reading and collecting all those reference points and all that knowledge, they actually, they actually become even more and more intelligent by the day because they’re continuing to read, for example, Ti is a source of thought. It is a source of intelligence Te exists to categorize and organize it.
Chase: 16:18 It itself is not the source of thought. It is just observing and consuming the thought and organizing the “little tiny thought buckets,” and then keeping those categorized and archived within their soul. Literally it is an archiving system or a backup and replication system. Interesting. But most of the archives anyway, so ESTJ, ISTP. Shortest distance between two points is a straight line. They’re able to meet the ISTP is directly across the table. “You have some nice thoughts there, I’m going to eat it.” “Ooh. I want to give you an experience or where I want to show you this really cool thing that I’m building, so I’m going to give your Si an experience, but I kinda wanna do this other thing right now.” “That’s okay. You can do whatever you want, Mr. ISTP, because I have Ne child and I want you to have the freedom to do whatever you want because when you are free, you able to create amazing things and give me such a great experience!”
Chase: 17:12 Okay. Awesome. And then the ISTP, “Oh, I’m so afraid of, of making this ESTJ friend of mine feel bad, you know?” And then the ESTJ is like, “Oh, I’m so afraid that I’m a bad person.” Yeah. Well it’s because the ISTP actually gives a good experience and makes the ESTJ feel better and they’re able to meet each other directly across because their Cognitive Functions match. Awesome. Right. Same thing down here. “I’m so worried that I’m stupid.” “I’m so worried that you’re stupid.” It’s weird, you know? Or, or, “Hey man, I’m worried about are… Dude. Are you sure you can like, dress like that maybe like you should dress a little bit better?” “Oh yeah, you’re right. I should probably take your fashion advice because you know, you’re very wise about, you know, fashion or, I never know what I want.”
Chase: 18:03 “Well, I don’t want to know what you want either, but luckily for both of us I know what I want so I’m going to do it this way.” “Oh thank god you know what you want and that’s going to encourage me to have a good experience because you know what you want, thank god.” And then it’s like, “I don’t care how I feel,” “Great because I don’t care how you feel either.” Do you see where I’m going with this? ESTJ’s love ISTP’s. They’re, they’re like completely together. It’s like frick and frack. You know what I mean? The problem is there isn’t actually a problem with this high level compatibility. They are so compatible, it’s almost too compatible because it can create conflict. Why? Look, Ti is like, “I think this” and then Te is like, “You probably shouldn’t think that.” “Well why?” “Well, because I feel like I had this experience and you don’t want to have that experience.”
Chase: 18:50 “Well, you can’t tell me what experience I don’t want to do. You can tell me what I can’t want do.” “Well, I’m just warning you because I see in your future that if you want to do this, you’re going to end up having a really bad experience and you’re gonna make me feel bad and then you’re going to feel stupid about it.” You know what I mean? That’s like the ESTJ talking to the ISTP in that moment. You know what I mean? It can create conflict. They read it each other so well. They can finish each other’s sentences so well that it can actually create conflict because they are almost too compatible, right? So, but that. But again, like that gets into the nurture area of the natures. So, or you know, outside of nature. So naturally speaking, if you find yourself, and this is called a Shadow Relationship, where you’re basically in a friendship with your Shadow basically because it’s directly across.
Chase: 19:35 If you’re in this relationship and you find yourself in this relationship, you, it really comes down to you better make sure that you both are on the same level, that you are equally yoked and that you have the similar maturity level because if you do not, your nurture will end up destroying the relationship even though the nature is compatible, so be aware of that. That could be a problem so you know, and that that includes, so there’s age… age, gender maturity, ethnicity, traditions, customs, those types of nurture things. Even though they’re naturally compatible with natural compatibility here, it could still cause a problem because they can read each other like a book and they’re like, and the ESTJ’s are like, “Well, you’re not like at my level” or, and then the ISTP’s is like, “Well, you’re way older than me. You’re way too controlling or you’re too young and you’re not organized enough for me,” etcetera.
Chase: 20:28 And then it has to be a level of equally yoked to be able to have that friendship. But this is the highest compatibility for the ESTJ. Now let’s look at another relationship where that maturity can have some give and take, we’ll talk about it. The ESTJ plus the ESTP, another match made in heaven because in as much as crazy compatible of all these people are, these are also super compatible. Why is that? Well, it’s just like the ESTJ [with] ISTP, very similar except if you notice the functions are one down, this creates humility because the Heroes flying around and saving the world, but the Parent can call out the Hero and be like, “Dude, why are you flying around saving the world right now? And there’s a lot of collateral damage. Buildings are coming down, you’re going to harm the children!” And the Hero’s like, “Oh yeah, you’re right, I shouldn’t harm the children.”
Chase: 21:17 Then Hero calms down, right? But the Parent is still letting the Heroes save the world. Whereas this Hero may not allow this other Hero to save the world because this Hero thinks that it can’t. You know what I mean? There’s a higher risk of conflict here even though they’re super compatible. There’s less conflict here, but the but needs could be met more so on this side. Then on this side, technically per se, it really depends. What does this mean? There is a lot more humility between, so like humility and respect and love and respect actually can take place really well in this relationship because the Te is letting the Parent be responsible, the Se is letting the Parent be responsible and vice versa. And same thing here. The Fe Child is really making sure that the ESTJ does not feel like a loser and the Ne Child is really making sure to give the ESTP all the options in the world so that ESTP always has options so it can know what it wants.
Chase: 22:15 That way the ESTP is not work, like, afraid of not wanting the wrong thing all the time and getting stuck in failure to launch syndrome because the ESTJ prevents that for the ESTP. It is a fantastic relationship. I also highly recommend it, on top of this one. Just make sure that your nurture is pretty matching here to really maximize the benefits of this super compatible relationship, but if your nurture is a little bit off, let’s say one is more mature than the other, this relationship can actually get in the way of that and because of the humility and the functions and if their, you know, and differences and gender differences and nurture, this relationship, even though it’s number two, it could actually have some prebuilt in safety against Nurture Disparity because of the prebuilt in humility amongst the functions because they’re always looking to the one above or below, etcetera.
Chase: 23:06 They’re always taking care of the lower side and they are covering the bases. Now, if there’s weaknesses here, they can cover the bases, except the thing is, is that ISTP or the ESTJ in this relationship may not necessarily internalize that they may be weak in some area when the other one is pointing it out. That’s the problem. So just be aware of that. Here. Also ESTJ and INFJ, very similar the Ne Child is trying to eat the Ni Hero, the Te Hero’s trying to eat the Ti Child, etcetera. But again, it’s, it’s the same premise. And of course, the ESTJ [with] ENFJ, same thing. Now, if you’ll notice something, I put a little line here in between these, this is the Ego, this is the Shadow, this is the Ego, this is the Shadow, this is the Ego, this is the Shadow, this is the Ego, this is the Shadow.
Chase: 23:53 Okay, top to bottom, right? Well, you have the top four functions and the top low functions. If you notice something like for these incompatible relationships, they’re crossing that barrier. That’s, that’s horrible. That causes like traffic jams of data going across because our mind to like radios who remember watching that lecture or listening to a lecture when I was talking about the Eight Cognitive Spectra, right? Because we’re, we’re, our heads are like literally radios and whatnot. Well, those radios, they’re not having as much interference, right? Because everything is staying within the Ego and everything is staying within the Shadow and is very important to maintain this kind of relationship with people for highest compatibility because it means everything that the Shadow needs to function is provided by the other person’s Shadow. Everything the Ego needs to function is provided for the Shadow.
Chase: 24:44 Okay. “But Mr. CS Joseph, You haven’t talked about the Subconscious or the Super Ego either!” Glad you mentioned that. Now automatically speaking, because you have everything matching up or at least supporting each other within the different sides of the mind, the Ego and the Shadow. You can automatically assume that they do so in the Subconscious and the Superego by default so you don’t have to worry about it. Everything is handled here automatically. So that is generally how compatibility works for positive compatibility for the ESTJ’s and the STP’s in the NFJ’s. It’s just doing the top four because I, I mean I could talk for ever going down this huge ass list and I’m not gonna do it so, but over here you can see all of the functions needs are being met by other functions inside the ego or the shadow respectively, you know, by the other person in the friendship, right?
Chase: 25:39 And this Socially Compatible Relationship, Friendship, Compatibility, right? So there it is, and there all the bases are being covered. It’s just that if you notice, why are these relationships better than these relationships down here, why is the ESTJ plus ISTP? Why is the ESTJ plus ESTP better than the ESTJ plus the INFJ, ESTJ plus ENFJ? Distance. Remember the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. So if you’re going Hero to Hero, that’s less distance than going Hero to Inferior. You see what I’m saying? Hero to Inferior, there’s a longer distance to travel that the mind has to do and it costs more mental energy to keep that relationship up. That’s the point. The more mental energy you, you, it costs to have a relationship or a friendship with somebody, the more chances and higher chances of conflict and sometimes you’re not able to meet their mental needs and that can cause the relationship to fall apart in the long run or it can cause Cognitive Dissonance at a minimum.
Chase: 26:47 Right? That’s a problem. So to avoid that, you want to, when you’re having your friends, you want to make sure that your functions are able to meet your needs. Yes, yes. I know ESTJ’s can have relationships with any of the 16 types and yes, there’s different kinds of relationships. I’m just talking about deep compatible, deep friendships. I’m not talking about neutral, I’m not talking about, you know, shallow acquaintance relationships, which is usually when you get down to the more negative based relationships because this is very positive. Right? So let’s talk about what is very negative and why. Okay, so ESTJ and INFP, polar opposites, right? Technically, yeah, absolutely. Look at how far Te has to travel to Ti. So you have a Hero function trying to make contact with the Demon. Oh, and by the way, it has to cross the, the Ego to Shadow barrier on top of it, which was a lot of interference in the middle because all the other functions are also competing.
Chase: 27:42 You have another yet another Hero going to a Demon and you have a Parent going to a Trickster and you have a Child going to going to a Critic and you so you know, a Critic, try to an old man trying to eat the Child. Okay, that’s healthy. You know what I mean? And then you have the, the Inferior Function trying to reach the Nemesis. It’s just a huge amount of distance. It causes traffic jams mentally. It costs a lot of mental energy for both, both of these types to remotely even connect with each other. Okay? Seriously, guys, it should be pretty obvious how this works by now. The human mind are puzzle pieces, right? And because they’re puzzle pieces, sometimes puzzle pieces don’t fit together. Yeah, that’s what’s happening here. See, these puzzle pieces don’t fit together. These do, these puzzle pieces fit together just fine.
Chase: 28:36 And you know what? Some of these fit better together than others, but that’s okay. But this, this is, this is a, this is a shit show, like seriously come on. It so much distance has to be traveled, and there’s a lot of interference in center and it doesn’t even get any better with the ESTJ and ENFP. The Cognitive Functions have to go even further, you know, and, and, Te Hero’s trying to reach Ti Trickster, so the ESTJ is walking around believing the ENFP is literally the stupidest human being that he’s ever met because it’s like, wow, do you have your own thoughts? You’re always talking about everyone else thinks you never talked about what you think. So the ESTJ is literally walking around believing that the ENFP like literally is completely out without thought, only amusing because technically amusing means “without thought.”
Chase: 29:22 You know what I mean? And because they’re without thought, it’s like, yeah, I don’t think I could be in a relationship with you because if you’re not intelligent and you’re not able to make me feel smart about myself and you’re looking for looking to me to make you feel smart. Yeah, that’s gonna work. Not gonna work for me. And because that’s a lot of mental energy. I just going to move on from you bro. We can’t have a relationship. We can’t even be friends. Go away. You know, like ESTJ’s just looking at ENFP’s. It’s like, “Wow, that’s a really dumb used car salesman who’s just going to be a slime ball and be all super depraved and take advantage of me.” By default! They’re already going to believe that because they’re like, “Wow, this guy doesn’t even know what he’s doing. He’s just pretending to know everything. You know? He doesn’t actually know anything at all.”
Chase: 30:01 That’s because Te Hero cannot make contact with a black hole that’s a Ti Trickster, or it’s just not going to work. Same thing with the ENFP. It’s like, “Wow, the ESTJ is literally the most indecisive human being I’ve ever met because the ESTJ does not make any decisions. It’s like because the ESTJ never knows what they want. They’ll make decisions based on what they should do and their duty, you know, and how comfortable they are. But the ENDP he is trying to sell them on something, trying to get them to want something. Right. But the ESTJ doesn’t allow themselves to want. So then the ESTJ automatically assumes they’re being manipulated and it’s like, “Okay, yeah bro, whatever.” And then they just walk off and no deal. Actually it takes place, right.
Chase: 30:40 That’s because there’s just no compatibility here because again, the Cognitive Functions are breaking the Ego-Shadow barrier here and they are competing and there’s traffic jams and it is a, it’s just not gonna work at all. You know, same thing with ISTJ’s fellow at fellow STJ’s, same thing even more. There’s there except this time there’s two. There’s two major points of attrition, you know, whereas it and there’s like one major point of attrition here and then like kind of a larger one that’s not as jammed, but there’s two traffic jams that deal with on this one now, so this is great. I mean, you know, Extraverted Thinking from the ESTJ has tried to make contact with the Ti Critic and Ti Critics walking around looking at the ESTJ, like, “Why aren’t you verifying everything? I’m a better archiver than you are” and the ESTJ is like, “No, but I have Te Hero, so I’m automatically smarter than you.”
Chase: 31:31 “No you don’t. You know, you’re too worried about being smarter all the time, but I actually take the time to research and verify,” you know, it just gets into this like this, like, no, no, you don’t really want to do that. And trust me from personal experience, especially a working relationship, but I had between observing and working relationship between the ESTJ and an ISTJ, that was, it was, they, they, they equally loathed each other in one of the highest way as possible. I don’t recommend that, especially in a working situation because they just compete with each other ones like, so super process oriented and then, and the other one’s like, you’re taking it way too seriously. And the other guy saying, well, you’re not taking it seriously enough, and it just turns into a huge conflict is it’s a total waste. So again, ESTJ [with] ISTJ.
Chase: 32:17 There’s just no compatibility here and you’ve got to traffic jams this time. We’ll technically four if you actually look at it closer and then you know, and Ne’s trying to eat Ni, you know, and the ISTJ is afraid of the ESTJ because the ISTJ has like no idea what the ESTJ’s going to do is completely unpredictable because the ISTJ looking for the ESTJ to want something, but the ESTJ doesn’t want anything. And so the ISTJ ends up becoming worried that that person’s not going to be loyal and it cause a problem and not do their duty because they have no idea what they want. And then the ISTJ just doesn’t know how to behave around the ESTJ. Especially when one has authority over the other, it just explodes and everyone’s face not recommended to be friends. It turns into a competition super quick and speaking of competition, look at this, the ESTJ plus ESTJ relationship, which is the absolute worst compatibility at there is. Look at all those traffic jams.
Chase: 33:15 It just turns into a giant grill or grill, you know, you have all these Cognitive Functions trying to break the Ego-Shadow barrier and they’re all doing it at the same time and everyone has to travel max possible distance to everywhere they’re trying to go and it just, it just gets even worse. Five levels down each or four levels down each time they trying to go, you know, instead of like three levels down, two levels down, it can get even worse. Sort of remember the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but this is friendship compatibility. So like there may be a little bit of disparity there, but that’s because we’re doing it over a weighted average. Remember, this list is created through an average based on other Relationship Styles, Shoulder to Shoulder, Face to Face, averaged together, and then you get Friendship Compatibility, which is the average.
Chase: 34:04 The average layout or, I don’t know, standard deviation. I’m not really good at math. I used to be. Anyway, so yeah, ESTJ on ESTJ relationship is not going to work. Both of them are looking to the other two to receive an experience and they’re both like criticizing each other on well you shouldn’t have that experience because you shouldn’t ask that experience for me because while I don’t want to give it to you and I don’t know what experience to give to you and you just seem like you’re asking too much and then the other then each ESTJ just looks at each other and just think that the other is selfish. Right? And at the other is not as organized as they are and just turns into just conflict and competition and it’s just absolutely crazy. Even though technically you can have competition in the ESTJ-ISTP relationship up here, but it’s usually almost always 90 percent of the time, a friendly competition that contributes to the growth, that mutual growth of both people involved in the friendship.
Chase: 34:59 So anyway, this is how Compatibility, Social Compatibility, Friendship Compatibility works for ESTJ’s. So if you found this lecture useful, educational, or enlightening, please subscribe to the channel here on YouTube or on the podcast or both. That would be dope! Please leave a like as well, if you have any questions about Social Compatibility and Friendship Compatibility for ESTJ’s, please leave in the comments section and I’ll do my best to answer your question. This is the first time I have ever talked about compatibility this deep with anybody. So this is very new and has taken a long time for me to develop this theory. So it’s the first time I’ve ever actually revealed it to anyone. So there you go. What going to be doing this for each of the types in the upcoming weeks for this series, this lecture series.
Chase: 35:51 So that will be fantastic. Also, I’ve been keeping track of all of your video requests. I am getting them in the schedule, so don’t worry about that. And if you have any, I’m also, I’m caught up on everyone’s emails, although I just saw an email come in right now, so I’ll get to that and thank you for your emails as well. I really appreciate them. We’re getting a lot of emails recently and also keep the comments going. I’ve been reading all the comments as well, so. Awesome. Well, I’ll see you guys either tonight or tomorrow for the next video probably in Social Compatibility or am I doing Type Comparison? We’ll find out. So see you then.