S3E6 – Who Are The ESFPs?

Transcript:

Chase: Hey guys it’s CS Joseph with CS Joseph.life and today we’re going to be talking about ESFPs. So the next video the next video in the 16 personalities series where we basically would be doing deep dives into the cognitive functions and overall personality type profile for each of the types. Today’s is the ESFP. Also known as the Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perciever. So I’ve got my trusty white board as usual and let’s start.

Chase: I realize these have been 30 minutes long or so but we’ve got a lot of information to cover so hopefully today’s will be a little bit shorter. Let’s find out. So the ESFP, extraverted sensing feeling perceiving, they’re known as the entertainer. They are known as the starter interaction style and the artisan temperament. Starter means they are informative initiating movement and because they’re in the artisan temperament they are freedom based creators. So if you were to lock them up in a room with no windows or anything and one way or another they’re coming through that door.

Chase: They’ll plead with you to open to the door but eventually it’s going to become a very violent situation. So let’s take a look. Let me adjust here. So let’s take a look at their ego. So the ESFP ego they are extroverted and they really do gather a lot of energy from being around people, especially the ESFP. People often say the ESFP is known as the life of the party, the party animal type. I actually kind of disagree with them on that because NFJs can really party in as much as SFPs can.

Chase: Now the ESFP really likes to dominate the attention of everybody around them. Usually that’s because of insecurity. Because they’re really concerned with how other people think of them. They’re very external judgment based and the true/false judgements of other people. They really just want people to feel like they’re smart, right? So they can’t really handle other people thinking them as stupid so they overcompensate by trying to bring everyone’s attention to them because the more people that think they’re intelligent the better they feel about themselves.

Chase: It’s a very ESFP way of thinking about it. And this comes out especially when they’re partying because if they are usually the loudest. There’s this one ESFP I knew in college and before I married her and I could hear her talking across the entire campus. It was interesting. I could hear her on the other side of the big building that made up our campus in the Bay area and it really just was unbelievable. I could always pick her out in a crowd based on how she dressed because they’re very flamboyant on how they dress, very colorful, very out there.

Chase: They want to be the one that gives off the best sensation. The best stimulation on how they dress. It comes out on how they talk. They’re usually the loudest. They’re just really in your face and they’re there all the time. And I did have two children with this ESFP, although recently we just finished our divorce but it was mutual. There was no bad blood there at all. I’m still committed to raising our children together and we take parenting very seriously.

Chase: That’s one of the great things about ESFPs and that’s their ISFJ unconscious. They really do take parenting and dutiful things, things around the house very seriously, although they get really tired of it pretty quickly but that doesn’t change their effectiveness. They can actually, as long as they have the mental energy to be able to handle such things, they make really great, really good parents. Great mothers, great father and they really can take any boring situation and make them into something really fun and enjoyable with a lot of discovery.

Chase: I’ve known a few ESFPs in early childhood education, for example that have really gone out of their way to be able to suggest whether or not children can take any type of learning experience and make it fun. They have that ability. A good example would be like doing a nature walk for example and they’re just trying to identify different plants but the ESFPs is going to come up with a fun game to engage all the children and make sure all the children are included. They’re very, very good at that because it’s all about the experience. It’s all about inserting the right thoughts into each child’s head to make sure that each child knows what’s going on and what they’re aware and what they’re supposed to learn, etc.

Chase: And ESFPs can really guide the thoughts and guide the attention of others. They make fantastic event coordinators because of this. Because it’s all about guiding the right experience. Guiding the right stimulation. Making sure people are receiving the right ideas. It’s pretty cool what they’re able to do in that way. Other types that are similar to do that, ISFPs kind of have some similar but they’re kind of more standoffish. ENTJs who also have the same four cognitive functions in their ego. They’re also extremely good event coordinators. It’s just that they value the intellectual content more than the experience.

Chase: Whereas it’s the other way around with ESFP it’s all about the experience first and how comfortable the audience is whether or not the audience can hear, if they can see what’s going on and then the content is secondary. It’s kind of interesting in our minds are very primary and secondary like that. But that’s okay because it just means that all human cognition is balanced in some way shape or form and ESFPs are no exception.

Chase: So Se hero always living in the moment. They have this insanely good mechanical awareness. I know ESFPs that can basically figure out how to work on cars just by picking up a manual. Working software. This is going to sound weird but I actually know some ESFPs who are electrical engineers. Why? Because it’s their INTJ subconscious that intellectual mode kicks in and ESFPs can actually be extremely good at calculus. And extremely good at physics and really, really high level of math.

Chase: Believe it or not a lot of people don’t give ESFPs a lot of credit. A lot of people say ESFPs are stupid. They’re not actually. If you give them the opportunity to take the time to actually read and research their material, they can regurgitate that material in such a way where they have this insane mastery of all of their reference points within the material. And then apply it to their mechanical aptitude to their extroverted se hero and they can command the physical environment through mechanics and what not, physics etc. in ways that most people don’t even realize.

Chase: It’s like adding practicality to the science of physics. It’s like, “Okay, yeah we’re doing math on simple machines but here is an actual simple machine and how it actually works as they hit you with a broom.” For example, ESFPs are very hands on. They are just as hands on as ESTPs. But they really do it in such a way where there able to get others involved with them and stimulate the learning of other people. They’re not trying so much to get people to value the experience as they are trying to get people to think about the experience and causes those others to become more intelligent all around them.

Chase: A lot of people don’t realize this. To them ESFPs are just airhead partiers but that’s not even remotely true and to go even further. Especially their Te Child. Because with their Te Child is how their able to master mathematics and physics and whatnot. When they approach sales it gets even stronger. ESFPs make amazing salesman. They can have really good mastery of content. Even though they don’t really know much about a technical product or even a product in general. They are master salesman because they always make everyone feel comfortable. They always make sure that people really hear and see the message and they are able to convey the message in a way that stimulates other people’s thinking.

Chase: And that they provide statistics and analytics that also helps people understand what their right return on investment is, total cost of ownership, all those metrics that they would actually need to close the deal. So if you’re an ESFP and you don’t know what you want to do for a career, I recommend sales. Seriously, you’d be really good at it. A lot of people don’t understand that that’s what they can do but they can.

Chase: Also, ESFPs, like I said are really good at physics. They’re really good at high level math. They have a lot, they actually have some financial mastery. Not so much in managing their own finances but managing the fiances of other people, right? So they’re able to … I’ve known a few ESFPs to be branch managers of banks. To be outstanding personal bankers. I even knew one that used to be an accountant and as long as they were organized they were amazing accountants.

Chase: That Te Child is just extremely strong. The problem really centers … The reason why ESFPs get a bad wrap is because they have a hard time finishing what they start. They’re constantly starting new things. I know one ESFP that went to college five times to five different colleges, they still haven’t finished their bachelors degree and they’re on their sixth run now. And it’s taken them probably 13, 14 years to figure that out but that’s how ESFPs are. Oh, I’m going to go try banking or oh, I’m going to try early childhood education or I’m going to try electronics engineering and technology or I’m going to try physics.

Chase: They just want to try everything out. No one experience is limited. It’s because, why do they do that, because Ni Inferior because just like the ESTP they’re very insecure with what they want. They need to have that freedom of choice. You have to give them that freedom of choice. And they have to spend so much time trying to find out what everybody else’s doing first in order for them to figure out what they want to do. This can lead to failure to launch syndrome, analysis paralysis, for example where ESFPs just get caught and stuck in this data gathering mode where they’re not able to stop gathering data because they just give into their fear. They’re so afraid of wanting the wrong thing.

Chase: They got to gather all that data so that they know what they want to do but they can get stuck gathering all that data and then they don’t even know what they want to do. Now, let’s talk about Fi Parent a little bit more. We haven’t touched on that as much. Fi Parent is a really interesting cognitive function. It’s about ESFPs being responsible for their self worth, their sense of self worth. How they feel. It’s their moral decision making, what an ESFP believes is a good or bad thing basically.

Chase: And they always can tell you how they feel about everything. And they always instantly know. They have super quick thinking on that. Good, bad, good, bad, good, bad, good, bad. And they will always tell and if something is perceived or judged as something that is bad for them. Well guess what? They’re not going to have anything to do with it. So how do you really get around that because Fi Parent can be a seriously hard egg to crack. Well it’s all about Te Child. If you can interface with their Child and just tell, “Hey, I think so highly of you because you always give me a good experience or you’re always the life of the party or you’re the life of the deal or you’re the life of the math class.”

Chase: You know those types of things. That can get Fi Parent to start feeling very good about you. And then you can start having a really good relationship with them. The problem with Fi Parent is that if they’re constantly stuck in this place where they have to keep gathering information they don’t know what they want, Fi Parent will basically cause ESFPs to become lazy and lethargic. Why? Because they’re so focused on right now and their own future is so out of the way and after gathering so much new information it’s pushing all the old information out and they don’t remember as much in the moment that they have goals that they have to reach.

Chase: That they have responsibilities that they have to meet. That they should probably finish their degree or they should probably work on their relationship so they don’t end up 40 years old without children for example. Because life will pass by them super quick and it’s like, “Holy hell. Where did all the time go? I’m 40 years old.” And then they have a midlife crisis. ESFPs, it’s very common for ESFPs to have midlife crises because they’re so focused on right now and they have a very hard time looking at their own future because they get so afraid and that fear gets worse because they’re constantly trying to manage how other people are thinking about them because that’s where they draw their self worth.

Chase: And ESFP draws their self worth based on how others around them think of them. If others around them don’t think of them well, they’re going to be stuck in the SE Hero trying to gather information to try to figure out what they want to solve that problem. It just becomes this endless loop for them. So what they need is someone to basically … They need someone to support them basically. And someone who focuses on how they feel. Someone who’s willing to let them have the freedom to do whatever they want. Someone who’s willing to share their thoughts with them. Give them options about possible futures for them to take.

Chase: Similar to how the ESTJ does that for the ESTB. This would be something like an ESFJ would do for a ESFP. The ESFJ would constantly support the entertainer because they’re known as the supporter. And they’re all about making ESFPs feel better. They give them what they want. Also, Se Hero needs people to be loyal to the. They absolutely need loyalty because sometimes the ESFPs aware that they’re not always the best person in the world especially when they get lazy. They know it. They know that they can become stagnant and there’s a lack of movement, a lack of progress being made, etc.

Chase: And when that happens, the ESFP, they know they’re doing it. They need people to be loyal to them for when those times actually comes. When those stagnant times come because without that loyalty they don’t have anyone that they can depend on. And in as much as everyone tries to depend on the ESFP. In reality, the ESFP is trying to find someone that they can depend on because that’s what they need. That’s how they function. They can really augment and conduct a lot of energy but being a source of energy is extremely difficult for them and they need someone who’s loyal to them so that they can have an energy source that they can tap so they can augment it to other things for the betterment of those around them.

Chase: So let’s look at Si Nemesis. Si Nemesis is very similar to ESTP’s Si Nemesis. They get caught in the past pretty easy. They’re really worried about their personal safety. They’re worried about … They get very nostalgic when they’re depressed. They worry that they’re childhood wasn’t good enough. They worry that the memories that they have are not going to be very memorable later. So they’re constantly trying to use Se Hero to make new memories of other people so they can get over … and new experiences so that their Si Nemesis doesn’t bother them as much because they’re worried that the experiences they have are, “Is that it? Is there more for me? Shouldn’t there be more for me to do? Shouldn’t I become a better person or be more?”

Chase: They get really stagnant. ESFPs typically want to travel the world and see the whole world but they can’t at times and that causes them to become super depressed because they weren’t able to reach those dreams that they had when they were a child. And that’s what Si Nemesis does, it constantly reminds them of that. So they have to be the life of the party with their Se Hero to be able to generate those new experiences in order to make the pain and worry of Si Nemesis to just go away or to be managed.

Chase: So, that’s when you have a Si User around them that’s loyal to ESFP in a relationship with them. So it’s like, “Okay, hey let’s go do this or let’s go have this experience or I want to have this experience over there.” The ESFP no longer has to guess or no longer has to be constantly concerned about giving this person and experience or designing the experience for this other person because the other person is like, “I already want to have this particular experience. Come do it with me.” And the ESFP is like, “Oh, awesome thank you. Yeah, let’s do it. Let’s go down the mountain or let’s go to Whistler or let’s go to Mexico or let’s go on a road trip or let’s do this project together.” They’re always down for everything.

Chase: As long as they have an Si User that’s willing to take the lead, they’ll absolutely let them take the lead. Or sometimes the Si User wants the ESFP to take the lead and the ESFP would be happy to do that because they have all the mental energy at that point to do that. And that’s how they combat Si Nemesis. Also, Si Nemesis has a thing with ESFP where even thought ESFPs can be impulsive it kind of can make ESFPs unreliable. ESFPs have a hard time reaching their commitments. Similar to ESTPs but it’s even worse with ESFPs because they have Fi Critic.

Chase: ESTPs have Fe Child in their child slot but because Fe Child is not in the ego of the ESFP, they’re not so concerned about what other people feel. So it allows them to actually go back on their commitments because their lack of self discipline here and they’re also … They’re lack of how other people feel in this area. It’s really a problem. Let’s talk about Fe Critic. Fe Critic like really criticizes the value judgements of other people.

Chase: ESFPs have Fi Parents. So they’re very responsible with how they feel but they see how other people are so irresponsible with how they feel. And if you ever want to teach and ESFP something, call them out. Tell them that they’re being irresponsible with how they feel. Tell them about how their feeling or how their lethargy or how their stagnation is hurting other people in their life and they’ll realize that their doing it because it’s the critic. Ah, man I shouldn’t be hurting other people in this way.

Chase: And then they’ll snap to and then they’ll snap out of it and then they’ll start being productive again. That’s one of the most important things to do with ESFPs. Yes, I literally just said you can guilt an ESFP into being productive because the Fe function is where someone’s guilt exists. You can literally guilt them into being productive. But it will only last for a little bit and then it will go back into their rut again so you have to constantly keep doing it.

Chase: That’s why SFPs are built for FSJs because FSJs wield guilt like a weapon. And it motivates ESFPs into action or FSPs into action and that’s how they do it. But with that guilt as a weapon, those FSJs also provide different pathways into which the ESFP can do forward so their Ni Inferior is no longer insecure about the future that they want and that means that the ESFPs is comfortable in wanting things. They’re aspiring with a certain path that they want to go. They finally reached it. They finally know and they’re finally moving forward.

Chase: It’s an amazing thing to happen when ESFP finally gets their wings and they’re soaring and it’s no longer failure to launch syndrome and they finally have a future that they figured out something that they really believe in. And are moving forward and they move forward at lightning speed because their movement oriented. They’re not control based. They’re just going to go speed racer and constantly meet objectives and milestones and put all that energy in there.

Chase: But they always have the risk of fizzling out because they’re a starter type right. So hit them in the Critic. You go down there and be like, “Hey, ethically speaking because you’re stagnating. You’re hurting other people or potentially hurting other people in your life and your family, maybe your kids, maybe your sibling, maybe your friends because you’re stagnating. You better wake up.” And the ESFP is like, “You’re right. I shouldn’t do that. Si Nemesis, I need to be taking care of others and realizing how my actions impact other Fe Critic. So I think I’m definitely going to do that. So they do.”

Speaker 1: Now, Ti Trickster is the reason why ESFPs get such a bad wrap. It’s because people believe that ESFPs are stupid. Like they think they’re airheads. And they find ESFPs to be amusing. Amusing basically means, without thought. Well, why it’s because they have Ti Trickster. ESFPs are basically incapable of producing logical thought. They can’t to the sums, if this then this is true, if that then that. If that’s not true then this is true or if that’s not true then that’s not true as well.

Chase: That’s logical thinking, they can’t do it. But they have rational thinking with their Te Child. So Te Child, rational thinking allows them to borrow like a fat vampire the thinking of other people in the form of reference points, research, conversations. If you want an ESFP to become the most intelligent person in the room, all you have to do is surround them with intelligent people and that ESFP will be super smart rapid quick.

Chase: So that Te Child will lock on to those Ti Users and absorb all of their intelligence, all of that thinking into themselves and they’ll be able to create this amazing rational matrix of data and kind of be like a little encyclopedia for whatever experiences they’re planning on creating. And they’re only going to take the ideas that matter to them. They’re not going to take the whole dump of it. They’re only going to take the ideas that matter to them. Put them together in a pattern or a mesh or some type of mental creation or a system in their mind, a process or a routine and then implement it into a new experience that they can show everyone else.

Chase: It allows them to create. It’s an amazing thing. That doesn’t mean their stupid guys. It just means that they have to be around intelligent people to become more intelligent themselves. To be able to be rational because an ESFP is very rational and they can communicate in statistics and data and research and provide that information. They may not be the source of that information. They’re just taking that data from other external sources and putting it together. And that’s rational thinking. Logically sources.

Chase: And one more point about Fe Critic I forgot to mention. ESFPs that are young, they literally walk around believing that everyone else is a bad person because their Fi Parent is so responsible with how they feel, with their self worth. They walk around believing that other people are just bad that they’re actually immoral people. They think the world is mostly full of immoral people and they’re on of the few moral people. Eventually though as ESFPs gain in years and wisdom and knowledge and maturity, eventually the ESFP realizes that’s not the case but for the most part they can be pretty jaded towards the feeling of most people to the point where, it’s not that they’re going to come off cruel, it’s more that they come off crass.

Chase: It’s like, “Yeah, I don’t feel that you should thinking about that.” To the point where they may even accuse the person of being stupid. Or they may accuse the person of being a bad person. Or unethical, you’re not a good person because you didn’t have the loyalty or the commitment needed to have that relationship. Or you abandoned those children. Or you abandoned this home. You abandoned the family. You abandoned the community. You’re an immoral person.

Chase: Those judgements exist with Fe Critic. But because they hold themselves to such a high ethical standard, you can always call out and ESFP on whether or not they’re breaking their own ethical standard, which is very common and easily done and the ESFP will always snap to, listen to what you say and they will change immediately because they take that high ethical standard very seriously. Absolutely very seriously.

Chase: And the bottom, Ne Demon. Ne Demon exists to screw over everyone else’s future. Everybody’s, even people in their own family. ESFPs are usually not aware of this but that’s what happens. Why? Because of Ni Inferior. If that family or group of people or their lover or whoever is close to ESFP, does not give the ESFP the freedom to make their own decisions, their freedom to want things. The freedom of choice or freedom whatsoever, the ESFP will hate them and the ESFP will make decisions that will screw over that person’s future. Usually with ENTP superego because that’s how you gain access to your superego. It’s through the Demon function. It’s the same way that the Inferior function gives you access to the subconscious up here.

Chase: Which we talked about the INTJ subconscious and how it’s very intellectual and gives them the ability to do calculus or amazing things with science and physics. It makes ESFPs really brilliant if they can really develop that side of their mind. But, from a Superego point of view, the ENTP what they’ll do is they’ll literally the ESFP will lie in wait for the opportune time to strike. And they will strike when you least suspect it. And they will hit you where it hurts the most.

Chase: The saying, “How’s the best way to hurt your enemy. It’s not to kill them but to attack his heart.” That’s what the ENTP Demon will do through the Superego. It will attack you heart and the ESFP, any Demon with ENTP Superego will literally destroy your relationships with other people. Why? Well, because you decided not to give them enough freedom or you were not loyal to them. You were disloyal or that’s how they’re judging you in their mind. I feel that you are a bad person because you thought it was okay to betray me. And I don’t want a relationship with you anymore so I’m going to do everything to retaliate and make sure I destroy your future and all of your relationships with other people so that you no longer have social currency or reputation that anyone would remotely respect and thus you couldn’t be a part of our community anymore or group anymore or our friends. You will exiled basically.

Chase: ESFPs will go out of their way to make sure you are exiled from the group essentially. So, that is the ESFP type profile. So if you found that video to be educational or helpful, please leave a like and subscribe to the channel. I’d really appreciate it. If you have any questions related to ESFPs go ahead and leave a comment in the comment section of this video. Just remember that ESFPs can be really delicate. They exist to live in the moment. They’re very mechanically minded and for the most part they really are good people and they’re very soft and warm people and they just want to give people, especially those closest to them the absolute best possible experience.

Chase: Just remember that in exchange all the ESFP asks is someone that they can depend on. Someone that is loyal to them. Someone that can give them the freedom of choice. The freedom to want things, even if sometimes the ESFP wants the wrong thing but enough freedom to actually do the wrong thing and then have a bad experience because they did the wrong thing and then they’ll realize, “Ah, I should probably not touch the fiery furnace or I shouldn’t touch the wood stove.”

Chase: Sometimes it’s better to just let the ESFP touch the wood stove and get burned than to just tell then no. Because and ESFP will test every possible boundary in the same way that ESTPs do with their Se Hero. They just have to know and understand why that experience is a bad experience. ESFPs, quite frankly, are willing to try anything because of that. That’s why they need to be protected and that’s why SFJs go really good with SFPs because they need to be protected in that way.

Chase: But because they’re being protected, they feel safe enough, they feel secure enough to do what they want and give others the absolute best possible experience they could possibly have. Anyway, I’ll probably be doing another video tonight. So I’ll see you guys then. Later.

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